I was raised in a Duggar like family. AMA

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you believe homosexuality is a sin?

Inwardly I remain conflicted. Outwardly I live my life as though I have no issue with it. I work in a very liberal environment. No one knows my past or my history and I am very private about my beliefs. I still struggle a great deal with letting go of the beliefs I used to hold so close. It still makes me feel very guilty to think certain things.

NP here. Just want to say I get it. Grew up in a fairly religious Muslim household and was taught that homosexuality is wrong and gay people would go to Hell. Now as an adult I know it isn't a choice and don't believe in a Heaven or Hell but when uber Liberals act like you're a big homophobe for not embracing seeing gay people everywhere in life, it's off putting. Sometimes understanding issues like these take time when you've grown up in an environment where you were told so much differently.

Thanks. It is hard. Some people seem to be able to just leave behind their earlier beliefs and take on a whole new mindset but I have struggled with that. Mine is a mix and I sometimes don't know what I believe. There are some really amazing Christians who live their lives the way that I think faith should be lived, but there are others who don't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just wanted to say thanks for a really interesting AMA.

You are welcome, thanks for reading!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you sexual at all? Are you heterosexual? Gay? Have you thought about it?

My sexual self / identity is something that I absolutely ignored until my late twenties / early thirties. I still try to not think of myself as a sexual person as it still feels wrong on some level although I do masturbate at times, more because I think I should to maintain some connection to sexuality then because I really need to. Also since I can't / won't do anything to change my situation, there is no point spending time being upset about it.

It is something I still wrestle with a lot, if I let myself think about it. I have had friends ask me if I am gay. It isn't a place I can even go to in my mind. If I explored that and found out I was gay, I would lose my immediate family. It would devastate my parents and I don't know if they would recover. I would lose my siblings and nieces and nephews.

I kind of had to make peace with just not being able to be a sexual person. I have thought about just going out and having sex and dealing with guilt / shame afterwards but I don't think I would enjoy it or have a good time as my mind would be all over the place.

I figure its kind of like being a nun! You make sacrifices in order to have other things.

I am very good at compartamentalizing and at suppression. Those skills allow me to live a happy life.