I was raised in a Duggar like family. AMA

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old are you now? Did your parents follow the Bill Gothard sect like the Duggars do? Did you attend an actual church (if so, what denomination? And were there a lot of other big families there or did you guys stick out?), or did your family do a "home church?"

Did you do all the other Duggar-like stuff like no dating, kissing, college discouraged, home school, etc.?

All of this, plus how did your family take the whole Gothard's a Rapist thing?

Not the Gothard sect. Similar. I remember hearing his name but not sure what y family thought. We were a conservative off shoot of Plymouth Brethren.

[Anonymous]

Do you believe homosexuality is a sin?

[Anonymous]

Does it bother you that the Duggar lifestyle is somewhat glamorized on TV and the abusive aspects of the cult are basically glossed over?

[Anonymous]

If you do an AMA you should actually answer the questions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you believe homosexuality is a sin?

Inwardly I remain conflicted. Outwardly I live my life as though I have no issue with it. I work in a very liberal environment. No one knows my past or my history and I am very private about my beliefs. I still struggle a great deal with letting go of the beliefs I used to hold so close. It still makes me feel very guilty to think certain things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does it bother you that the Duggar lifestyle is somewhat glamorized on TV and the abusive aspects of the cult are basically glossed over?

I think it is really hard for people to understand what it is like to be in that lifestyle. From the outside where people have different views, they think the people must be miserable. We weren't at all. We were very happy and had 'good' lives. It isn't just a set of beliefs, it is intertwined into every aspect of what we thought, said and did.

It has taken years for me to see things differently. For years after I left, even though I saw a lot that was wrong, I still defended many of the things that I thought were okay. It doesn't feel abusive when you are in it, it is just what is right.

I don't think the show really does anyone any good.

[Anonymous]

Your life was a lot easier than mine. I grew up UPC (United Pentecostal). We couldn't wear pants, cut our hair, wear make-up or nail polish (even clear polish), couldn't celebrate Christmas, Halloween, could not sing Christmas carols, watch TV, could not listen to any music that was not Christian (and it had to be a certain type of Christian music).... I could go on and on. At least you had parents who questioned. My mom refused to allow anything that was "taboo" and my dad killed himself when I was 11 because he couldn't take it any longer. Don't ask me anything. I was done years ago.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your life was a lot easier than mine. I grew up UPC (United Pentecostal). We couldn't wear pants, cut our hair, wear make-up or nail polish (even clear polish), couldn't celebrate Christmas, Halloween, could not sing Christmas carols, watch TV, could not listen to any music that was not Christian (and it had to be a certain type of Christian music).... I could go on and on. At least you had parents who questioned. My mom refused to allow anything that was "taboo" and my dad killed himself when I was 11 because he couldn't take it any longer. Don't ask me anything. I was done years ago.

OP here. We had a lot of similar rules. No make up or accessories really of any kind (no pierced ears), no Halloween, very little music at all (some Christian music), lots and lots of rules and restrictions. We celebrated Christmas a religious holiday. But I did have overall a happy childhood in its own brainwashed disturbed way.

I am sorry your life was so difficult, and I hope it is a better life now.

[Anonymous]

OP how was discipline handled in your house? Were you physically punished? How did your parents reach if someone talked back or questioned something?

Are you a parent now?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP how was discipline handled in your house? Were you physically punished? How did your parents reach if someone talked back or questioned something?

Are you a parent now?

Yes, we were physically punished. Usually with a paddle or a belt, if we were really bad, then the buckle end of the belt. Talking back was simply not permitted. There were just a lot of givens as to how one acts / doesn't act. Typically if we did something wrong we were sent to our rooms and then spanked.

I have done foster parenting, but don't have my own kids.

[Anonymous]

Do you feel you were abused or mistreated?

[Anonymous]

Are you still in contact with anyone from that group?

[Anonymous]

Are you married or do you date? Are you married to/do you date people only from that group or from the broader population? Is it weird to have to discuss with DH/dates why you do/don't do certain things?

[Anonymous]

Do you struggle with shame? Like self-shaming for anything you think you don't do well or correctly?

[Anonymous]

Do you feel like an outsider wherever you go now?