I was raised in a Duggar like family. AMA

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Please don't feel like you would make a bad spouse! On the contrary, you sound like a very humane and empathetic human being. If you are unhappy alone, don't hold back from looking for a partner in life.

I believe you are lucky in having intelligent parents, and being psychologically stable and intelligent yourself. Best wishes to you!

Thank you. I do feel very fortunate and am grateful that my life has turned out the way it has.

[Anonymous]

Does your sect still exist in Canada? Are there still families living this lifestyle, and have they grown in numbers at all or did most families leave?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What are your most meaningful personal relationships right now?

I don't share my inner self with anyone, but I have a good friend group, see my family often, work with a great team of people.

I have always found it easy to form friendships and have friends from many walks of life. Overtime in the end I always take on a helper / rescuer role and I never really need anything from friends. Some people are fine with this, others get annoyed that I don't depend on them the way they depend on me.

Do you think that this is healthy?

I wouldn't say it is healthy. But it is what I have known all my adult life and is my comfort zone. In the grand scheme of all the things that could be unhealthy, I feel like it is manageable.

[Anonymous]

Do you feel lonely?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does your sect still exist in Canada? Are there still families living this lifestyle, and have they grown in numbers at all or did most families leave?

they still exist but they are smaller in number. When we were growing up, our group had about 250 people and there were other groups in most major cities in Canada and the USA. we used to travel to conventions where groups came together. It was a pretty big network. It is pretty secretive so hard to know exactly what is happening now but from what I hear, it is more like pockets of people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you feel lonely?

Yes, and occasionally it bothers me but for the most part I am pretty comfortable with being lonely. It is a very familiar place for me to be. I choose to not be upset about it (for the most part). I try and not think about a better life but instead try to really be content with the life I have and live.

[Anonymous]

Did your family do blanket training?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did your family do blanket training?

No, thankfully not.

[Anonymous]

Do you feel like you got a decent education growing up, or did you come to learn things later which everyone else thought of As normal and you had never considered before?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you feel like you got a decent education growing up, or did you come to learn things later which everyone else thought of As normal and you had never considered before?

We had never had a TV or gone to a movie or listened to secular music so I was very, very naive and sheltered even though I thought I wasn't. My world had been very small.

For example when I was 19, I heard two co-workers around my age talking about how they had spent the night cuddling at a party due to being cold. I was truly horrified as they weren't married or even in a relationship. The guy was my 'friend' at work so I felt it was my duty to say something so I pulled him aside and very sincerely asked if this was true and told him he shouldn't do that. He basically patted my head, told me I was so innocent, and then laughed and went about his day. That kind of thing happened for quite awhile. I thought I had figured out the world but I really knew almost nothing.

My education was either at home or at a very small rural school where education was not taken all that seriously. Most of what was normal to others wasn't normal to me.

[Anonymous]

Do all the adults not practice birth control or is that just a Duggar family thing?

If they don't practice birth control, do all the women breastfeed for as long as possible (since that often helps to prevent conception) ?

[Anonymous]

What are your siblings’ lives like now? Are they married? Do they have have kids? What fields do they work in? Do you see them often and celebrate holidays/milestones? How have your parents coped with being unconnected to their earlier support system now that they are aging?

[Anonymous]

How did you adjust in the short term when you left? Did you start wearing pants, go to a regular school and then off to college, etc. Or, did it take a long time to change your habits?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do all the adults not practice birth control or is that just a Duggar family thing?

If they don't practice birth control, do all the women breastfeed for as long as possible (since that often helps to prevent conception) ?

All the woman breastfed. We never spoke about birth control so I have no idea what the position was. I think that was a conversation typically had just before the wedding. People must have used some methods as most people in our group had 4-6 kids. Only a few bigger families.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What are your siblings’ lives like now? Are they married? Do they have have kids? What fields do they work in? Do you see them often and celebrate holidays/milestones? How have your parents coped with being unconnected to their earlier support system now that they are aging?

My family gets together every month or two, 4 of the 6 of us are married and have kids. We all ended up going to college and work in a range of professional areas. We do celebrate birthdays. My parents have never really had friends since they left. they are each other's best friends and they have many acquaintances but no friends they spend time with. They did become actively involved in a church for a few years but mostly have directed their energy to helping other people.