DH is being accused of sexual assault.

[Anonymous]

I've never heard of the fake rape movement, but I had a co-worker who was accused of rape. He was immediately fired from his job, then his wife left him. And he spent close to 100k on legal fees to prepare for trial. Just before going to trial, the supposed victim recanted the entire story. To this day he has been unable to recover sure to finances and relationships that were destroyed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've never heard of the fake rape movement, but I had a co-worker who was accused of rape. He was immediately fired from his job, then his wife left him. And he spent close to 100k on legal fees to prepare for trial. Just before going to trial, the supposed victim recanted the entire story. To this day he has been unable to recover sure to finances and relationships that were destroyed.

That's an anecdote, not a movement. False accusations of rape are inline with all other crimes -- right around 2%.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:I have a feeling everyone was drinking. Your husband had sex that he believes was consensual. The women disagrees, was super drunk and isn't sure. This the swabbing of multiple men. At a minimim, he cheated on you. At a maximum, he raped this woman. Either way your marriage is pretty much over. You need a lawyer to start protecting your assets. A court case will destroy your finances.

I was going to look into filing. We don't have any mutual assets (we don't own property) aside from a joint bank account. We've been married less than a year. There's really no assets to protect. I have student loan debt and he has car debt but that's it.

To be honest, if you have no kids, and you've only been married a year, I'd move on -- assuming that he at least cheated. Talk to an attorney ASAP. There may be no assets, but the woman could sue him for civil damages.

I am always amazed at how quickly women on this board proclaim that woman should kick their husbands to the curb. So much for vows...

I know right? He's only hiding the fact that he's being investigated by police in multiple states for rape! Jeez these faithless wenches, they'll jump ship over any little thing!

Questions and a swab are not an investigation.

Yes, tracking someone who has been accused of assault down to collect physical evidence and question them is an investigation. Possibly you're thinking of an indictment?

I may have missed it but an investigation into an alleged assault does not constitute an investigation into an individual questioned and swabbed. It is not uncommon in cases with a victim that doesn't recall the assailant(s) to question everyone at the location during the crime to identify the assailant.

[Anonymous]

If I was accused and my wife kicked me out, there is no way I'm coming back when I'm cleared. You can't fix that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've never heard of the fake rape movement, but I had a co-worker who was accused of rape. He was immediately fired from his job, then his wife left him. And he spent close to 100k on legal fees to prepare for trial. Just before going to trial, the supposed victim recanted the entire story. To this day he has been unable to recover sure to finances and relationships that were destroyed.

That's an anecdote, not a movement. False accusations of rape are inline with all other crimes -- right around 2%.

False rape accusations actually decreased when lynchings of innocent African American men and boys became harder to get away with.

[Anonymous]

taketothebank wrote:

I kicked him out because he went outside to be interviewed. I heard the police say to him: "The police in X state have been trying to get a hold of you to no avail." He asked me to close the window so I couldn't overhear. That made me suspicious.

His friend disclosed to him last week that he had been swabbed. He's known for a week that his co-workers were being swabbed. He neglected to tell me.

To me, that seems like guilty behavior.

Too many things are not adding up. If the police had been swapping others in the DH's work group, then they would have likely bagged them at work and got the DH at the same time. However, it took the police a week to find the DH even though they work at the same place. How far away are the offices from one another? Also, if there was a rape on company or goverment property, why would the company/agency let the people they knew were being investigated come back to work without them being questioned first?

The DH asked the DW to close the open window after the cops started the questioning? The DH has the presence of mind to ask the cops to step outside so they can talk in front of an open window? More than that, the DH knew his wife was at the window or he would not have asked her to shut it. She just happened to be standing at the open window to hear part of the conversation, then gets seen by the DH, then told to shut the window?

Nope. Too many things about this tale do not make sense. Unless we are watching it on Lifetime.

+1 I don't buy this story at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've never heard of the fake rape movement, but I had a co-worker who was accused of rape. He was immediately fired from his job, then his wife left him. And he spent close to 100k on legal fees to prepare for trial. Just before going to trial, the supposed victim recanted the entire story. To this day he has been unable to recover sure to finances and relationships that were destroyed.

Could he not sue the alleged victim in a civil lawsuit for libel and slander?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've never heard of the fake rape movement, but I had a co-worker who was accused of rape. He was immediately fired from his job, then his wife left him. And he spent close to 100k on legal fees to prepare for trial. Just before going to trial, the supposed victim recanted the entire story. To this day he has been unable to recover sure to finances and relationships that were destroyed.

That's an anecdote, not a movement. False accusations of rape are inline with all other crimes -- right around 2%.

You are probably referring to the "between 2 and 8 percent of rape accusations are false" stat from the FBI. That only refers to cases where the accusations are determined to be false. The reality is the majority of accusations do not have a clear resolution, and it is not known exactly what happened. There is no need to misrepresent facts to make your point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a feeling everyone was drinking. Your husband had sex that he believes was consensual. The women disagrees, was super drunk and isn't sure. This the swabbing of multiple men. At a minimim, he cheated on you. At a maximum, he raped this woman. Either way your marriage is pretty much over. You need a lawyer to start protecting your assets. A court case will destroy your finances.

I was going to look into filing. We don't have any mutual assets (we don't own property) aside from a joint bank account. We've been married less than a year. There's really no assets to protect. I have student loan debt and he has car debt but that's it.

To be honest, if you have no kids, and you've only been married a year, I'd move on -- assuming that he at least cheated. Talk to an attorney ASAP. There may be no assets, but the woman could sue him for civil damages.

I am always amazed at how quickly women on this board proclaim that woman should kick their husbands to the curb. So much for vows...

I know right? He's only hiding the fact that he's being investigated by police in multiple states for rape! Jeez these faithless wenches, they'll jump ship over any little thing!

Questions and a swab are not an investigation.

Yes, tracking someone who has been accused of assault down to collect physical evidence and question them is an investigation. Possibly you're thinking of an indictment?

I may have missed it but an investigation into an alleged assault does not constitute an investigation into an individual questioned and swabbed. It is not uncommon in cases with a victim that doesn't recall the assailant(s) to question everyone at the location during the crime to identify the assailant.

Can't tell if you're serious or trying to get away with a non-point through semantics. Cops from the other state tried to get hold of him and he dodged them. Cops from his home state had to come to his house to get the physical evidence necessary for the investigation. He was questioned and swabbed as part of an investigation, as were all of the other people who were swabbed. The fact that he's not the only person being investigated doesn't mean he's not being investigated. And if he had nothing to hide he's sure being strange in showing it -- hiding from the police and hiding the fact that the police are looking for him from his wife.

But back to the point, something about how OP is a monster because it should be totally par for the course to be blindsided by a rape allegation and then have the husband who went out of his way to hide it from you act like it's no big deal. Sometimes it's fascinating to see how far people will bend to stick to the "whoever represents my gender in this story must be the aggrieved party" line.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've never heard of the fake rape movement, but I had a co-worker who was accused of rape. He was immediately fired from his job, then his wife left him. And he spent close to 100k on legal fees to prepare for trial. Just before going to trial, the supposed victim recanted the entire story. To this day he has been unable to recover sure to finances and relationships that were destroyed.

That's an anecdote, not a movement. False accusations of rape are inline with all other crimes -- right around 2%.

2% is not only false it is materially misleading.

False rape allegations occur at a rate of 2 to 10 percent. That does in no way mean the other claims were in fact rape, it only means in 2% to 10% the accuser was actually proven to be lying. For example, the accused wasn't even at the location of the alleged rape.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If I was accused and my wife kicked me out, there is no way I'm coming back when I'm cleared. You can't fix that.

Eh, but...if my husband has been evading the cops for over a week and hiding it from me, then they show up and he deliberately shuts me out of the conversation...I don't think you can fix that either

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't know where to begin. I am shaking.

DH works in another state for six weeks in a remote area during the summer. There is a woman who is accusing him, and multiple coworkers of his of sexual assault. He was questioned today in our home and swabbed. Which leads me to believe there is substantial evidence. DH is trying to brush it off, saying he doesn't know her and he just went to sleep that night.

I kicked him out and told him not to come back until he is cleared.

I'm completely distraught and emotional. I don't want him near me. I don't believe he did it, but what if?

If he is innocent, he needs you more than ever right now. You reacted poorly, IMO, unless you believe he did it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If I was accused and my wife kicked me out, there is no way I'm coming back when I'm cleared. You can't fix that.

Eh, but...if my husband has been evading the cops for over a week and hiding it from me, then they show up and he deliberately shuts me out of the conversation...I don't think you can fix that either

OP here:

What makes it worse is that this incident is about a month old.

He had that much time to come clean about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've never heard of the fake rape movement, but I had a co-worker who was accused of rape. He was immediately fired from his job, then his wife left him. And he spent close to 100k on legal fees to prepare for trial. Just before going to trial, the supposed victim recanted the entire story. To this day he has been unable to recover sure to finances and relationships that were destroyed.

That's an anecdote, not a movement. False accusations of rape are inline with all other crimes -- right around 2%.

2% is not only false it is materially misleading.

False rape allegations occur at a rate of 2 to 10 percent. That does in no way mean the other claims were in fact rape, it only means in 2% to 10% the accuser was actually proven to be lying. For example, the accused wasn't even at the location of the alleged rape.

No, that's what it's supposed to mean, but that's not how law enforcement or prosecution departments actually report it.

This definition is consistent with guidance provided by the FBI Uniform Crime Report (UCR) on methods for clearing cases. Specifically, the UCR Handbook states that a case can only be unfounded if it is “determined through investigation to be false or baseless. In other words, no crime occurred” (p. 77). This seems clear, because a case cannot be “determined through investigation to be false or baseless” if no investigation was conducted or if it yielded insufficient evidence.4
While this is the actual definition of a false report for law enforcement purposes, it does not typically reflect the way investigators, prosecutors (and their supervisors) tend to think of sexual assault investigations.5 In fact, at virtually every training we offer on this topic, we hear from law enforcement professionals who unfound cases—and prosecutors who reject them— either because they do not believe the victim’s account or they failed to prove it conclusively. This practice fails to meet the needs of both victims and the larger society.
So, although the actual definition of a false report should be the same for all criminal justice professionals, it is clear that the practices that are really used vary dramatically. This is why the percentage of sexual assault reports that are unfounded by various law enforcement agencies are so different; many are labeling sexual assault reports false without any evidence to establish that they did not occur.

source: http://ndaa.org/pdf/the_voice_vol_3_no_1_2009.pdf

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women accuse everyone, this is common due to the Fake rape movement.

There's no fake rape movement. There are, however, men who so hate women that they want to believe that women get some glory out of claiming they were raped.

While I agree with your first sentence, your 2nd sentence makes no sense. However, there have been woman that made up rape allegations and there have been many women that misidentified their assailant(s).