Ok to vacation without all the kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I didn't realize this would be such a hot topic. I just read every single post. I posted thinking I'd get validation from blended families who do this stuff all the time. I was mistaken.
I wouldn't have posted if I wasn't feeling bad about the conversation with the ex. I suppose I have this fantasy about the magic of Disney World. I wanted to share that with my son, who will probably be the only "baby" I'll ever have.
We are not going to go. I'm pretty annoyed actually, but I think that the ex might be right. It seems fair that we should be able to take him, especially since the others have already been, but I know kids are not rational in that way. The happy family we are trying to create could be damaged. Sigh. We are not going. We'll save a bit each month and do it in a year or two.

Wanting to see the "magic" with your kid is fine. Even wanting some alone time to enjoy it with him is fine.

But, when you go in a year, you can create that by having DH take the older 2 to ride the big kid rides, or even to another park, while you enjoy some 1:1 time with your little one.

Or take the family to Universal Studios (cheaper and more age appropriate for the older ones) and on a couple days you peel off with just the baby and enjoy Disney 1:1. Kids won't feel left out if they're touring HP world with Dad, you'll pay about the same, and you get that 1:1 time.

Leaving them behind altogether isn't the solution, though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I didn't realize this would be such a hot topic. I just read every single post. I posted thinking I'd get validation from blended families who do this stuff all the time. I was mistaken.
I wouldn't have posted if I wasn't feeling bad about the conversation with the ex. I suppose I have this fantasy about the magic of Disney World. I wanted to share that with my son, who will probably be the only "baby" I'll ever have.
We are not going to go. I'm pretty annoyed actually, but I think that the ex might be right. It seems fair that we should be able to take him, especially since the others have already been, but I know kids are not rational in that way. The happy family we are trying to create could be damaged. Sigh. We are not going. We'll save a bit each month and do it in a year or two.

Wanting to see the "magic" with your kid is fine. Even wanting some alone time to enjoy it with him is fine.

But, when you go in a year, you can create that by having DH take the older 2 to ride the big kid rides, or even to another park, while you enjoy some 1:1 time with your little one.

Or take the family to Universal Studios (cheaper and more age appropriate for the older ones) and on a couple days you peel off with just the baby and enjoy Disney 1:1. Kids won't feel left out if they're touring HP world with Dad, you'll pay about the same, and you get that 1:1 time.

Leaving them behind altogether isn't the solution, though.

This is an elegant solution

[Anonymous]

To even consider this means either you are an evil step mother or your husband is a really crappy parent.

Who leaves some of their kids at home because the vacation is expensive. He ranks his kids and takes his favourites and figures his other kids can just suck up being the unwanted kids.

What if you have another kid? You okay with him leaving one at one and taking the other?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To even consider this means either you are an evil step mother or your husband is a really crappy parent.

Who leaves some of their kids at home because the vacation is expensive. He ranks his kids and takes his favourites and figures his other kids can just suck up being the unwanted kids.

What if you have another kid? You okay with him leaving one at one and taking the other?

+1. If you have another kid, does that kid get a solo trip to Disney without big brother?

[Anonymous]

Glad OP decided not to go on the trip. Sad, though, that she feels "annoyed" and doesn't appreciate why the idea to leave the other two kids was so bad. I don't think she understands at all which makes me feel very sorry for the step-kids. But the fact that the father would even consider such an idea is even sadder. The kids know their Dad was willing to consider the option, so damage is already done.

[Anonymous]

Wait, your husband was ok with your plan? You'd better hope you two don't get divorced someday or it'll be your kid getting kicked to the curb in favor of the new kid.

[Anonymous]

Speaking from experience as the child of the DH and ex, trust me, not OK. Thank you for changing your mind.

[Anonymous]

Op is clueless

[Anonymous]

Three year olds don't give a crap about the "magic" of disney.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Three year olds don't give a crap about the "magic" of disney.

Obviously not the point of this post, but 3 year olds certainly do understand the magic of Disney - we took our 2.5 year old last November and she has been talking every DSt for the last few weeks about our upcoming trip next November. That said, they will still feel the magic at 4, 5 or 6 (even at 9!) and will be able to remember better so no harm in waiting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I didn't realize this would be such a hot topic. I just read every single post. I posted thinking I'd get validation from blended families who do this stuff all the time. I was mistaken.
I wouldn't have posted if I wasn't feeling bad about the conversation with the ex. I suppose I have this fantasy about the magic of Disney World. I wanted to share that with my son, who will probably be the only "baby" I'll ever have.
We are not going to go. I'm pretty annoyed actually, but I think that the ex might be right. It seems fair that we should be able to take him, especially since the others have already been, but I know kids are not rational in that way. The happy family we are trying to create could be damaged. Sigh. We are not going. We'll save a bit each month and do it in a year or two.

Wow. each time I think I've read the worst post on DCUM, someone comes along to top it. Annoyed at children? Yuck.

[Anonymous]

Stepmonster.

[Anonymous]

Oh OP!!! How could you!!! Seriously it's just not nice to exclude the step kids to a trip to Disney. This is Disney! I kniw it will be more expensive but that's how it goes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Glad OP decided not to go on the trip. Sad, though, that she feels "annoyed" and doesn't appreciate why the idea to leave the other two kids was so bad. I don't think she understands at all which makes me feel very sorry for the step-kids. But the fact that the father would even consider such an idea is even sadder. The kids know their Dad was willing to consider the option, so damage is already done.

I agree. It doesn't matter that the older ones have been already either. The thought should have never crossed the DH's mind to exclude 2/3 of his children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To even consider this means either you are an evil step mother or your husband is a really crappy parent.

Who leaves some of their kids at home because the vacation is expensive. He ranks his kids and takes his favourites and figures his other kids can just suck up being the unwanted kids.

What if you have another kid? You okay with him leaving one at one and taking the other?

+1. If you have another kid, does that kid get a solo trip to Disney without big brother?

I'm not divorced, or the OP, but next week I'm going to Paris with my six-year old son, and my 2-year old will stay behind with DH. It didn't occur to me to take her. If she feels deprived when she grows up and learns about it, I'm OK with that.