Ok to vacation without all the kids?

[Anonymous]

Not ok at all.

[Anonymous]

OP, can you ask the ex if she can chip in? I don't know how well that would go over, but I don't see a problem by offering to take them if she can help pay? I assume that will not be popular on this board. Conversely, based on what others have said, will she be including your child in activities? I think she should try to include them, no matter what, but it should go both ways.

You all are a family, not just separate families.

[Anonymous]

There are so many ways to do Disney on a budget. I've done whole Disney trips for $2k. Drive. Get a non-Disney room. Get one room, not 2. Instead of eating out, order in. Buy groceries and make sandwiches sometimes. Take leftovers with you and reheat them - most hotels have refrigerators and microwaves. Refill your waterbottles during the day at water fountains instead of buying drinks. Don't get park hopper passes - do a park a day. Take a day off to do wet n wild. Check for Groupons. Make a budget for souvenirs.

And, no it is not ok to go without the step kids - I can't even believe you had to ask this question. Not only do you need to include them, but you also need to apologize for even considering it. Also, you cannot cancel the trip because it will make your step kids feel like they caused it to be cancelled.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, can you ask the ex if she can chip in? I don't know how well that would go over, but I don't see a problem by offering to take them if she can help pay? I assume that will not be popular on this board. Conversely, based on what others have said, will she be including your child in activities? I think she should try to include them, no matter what, but it should go both ways.

You all are a family, not just separate families.

Why should the mom subsidize her ex's vacation plans with his own children?

And the OP's DH is father to these children; the ex is not the mother to the 3 year old.

[Anonymous]

That is NOT fine, even if the step kids have been to Disney before.
You ALL go, and they need to learn to share their time with all the baby activities that your child will enjoy.

[Anonymous]

Now that you know they want to go, not bringing them will be a slap in the face and will damage their relationship with their father and their half brother. Go somewhere else, or save and go next year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, can you ask the ex if she can chip in? I don't know how well that would go over, but I don't see a problem by offering to take them if she can help pay? I assume that will not be popular on this board. Conversely, based on what others have said, will she be including your child in activities? I think she should try to include them, no matter what, but it should go both ways.

You all are a family, not just separate families.

Why should the mom subsidize her ex's vacation plans with his own children?

And the OP's DH is father to these children; the ex is not the mother to the 3 year old.

Just trying to solve the issue. What if the 3 year old wanted to go on a trip with the older kids that the ex was planning? Is that child excluded? You can't be half in, according to the DCUM jury.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, can you ask the ex if she can chip in? I don't know how well that would go over, but I don't see a problem by offering to take them if she can help pay? I assume that will not be popular on this board. Conversely, based on what others have said, will she be including your child in activities? I think she should try to include them, no matter what, but it should go both ways.

You all are a family, not just separate families.

Why should the mom subsidize her ex's vacation plans with his own children?

And the OP's DH is father to these children; the ex is not the mother to the 3 year old.

Just trying to solve the issue. What if the 3 year old wanted to go on a trip with the older kids that the ex was planning? Is that child excluded? You can't be half in, according to the DCUM jury.

The 3 year old is not part of that household and not a child or stepchild of that parent. That is why it is different.

[Anonymous]

This is not okay.

[Anonymous]

OP you don't have to bring the older kids. They have two families, your kid has one. You're allowed to vacation without them. They will get vacations with their mother without your child and that will be fair too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, can you ask the ex if she can chip in? I don't know how well that would go over, but I don't see a problem by offering to take them if she can help pay? I assume that will not be popular on this board. Conversely, based on what others have said, will she be including your child in activities? I think she should try to include them, no matter what, but it should go both ways.

You all are a family, not just separate families.

Why should the mom subsidize her ex's vacation plans with his own children?

And the OP's DH is father to these children; the ex is not the mother to the 3 year old.

Just trying to solve the issue. What if the 3 year old wanted to go on a trip with the older kids that the ex was planning? Is that child excluded? You can't be half in, according to the DCUM jury.

The 3 year old is not part of that household and not a child or stepchild of that parent. That is why it is different.

Yes! My stepkids are invited on all of our vacations, but I'd never expect their mom to take my (bio)kids anywhere. They are not her responsibility. My stepkids, on the the other hand, are my husband's responsibility. Not sure what is so complicated or confusing about that.

[Anonymous]

Look, you can't have your big happy blended family and your intimate nuclear family too. It would be one thing if you were taking him to Sesame Place. But as long as it's age-appropriate, the dad has to treat all of hia children equally, regardless of his relationship with their mother.

You chose this and they did not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP you don't have to bring the older kids. They have two families, your kid has one. You're allowed to vacation without them. They will get vacations with their mother without your child and that will be fair too.

Oh ok, so they just don't get vacations with their father. Your child gets vacations with both of his parents. Got it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP you don't have to bring the older kids. They have two families, your kid has one. You're allowed to vacation without them. They will get vacations with their mother without your child and that will be fair too.

They don't rrally have two families if they are unwelcome in one. An intact family would not take only some of the kids to Disney. Why should these kids get any less?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, can you ask the ex if she can chip in? I don't know how well that would go over, but I don't see a problem by offering to take them if she can help pay? I assume that will not be popular on this board. Conversely, based on what others have said, will she be including your child in activities? I think she should try to include them, no matter what, but it should go both ways.

You all are a family, not just separate families.

Why should the mom subsidize her ex's vacation plans with his own children?

And the OP's DH is father to these children; the ex is not the mother to the 3 year old.

Just trying to solve the issue. What if the 3 year old wanted to go on a trip with the older kids that the ex was planning? Is that child excluded? You can't be half in, according to the DCUM jury.

The 3 year old is not part of that household and not a child or stepchild of that parent. That is why it is different.

By that logic, the older children are only part time, which is why I don't see a problem in asking to split the costs, if its really a problem. To be clear, I don't think its fair to go without them just to have your own time, but if its really a cost thing, and you share the responsibilities 50/50, I don't see why this would be any different. Just like if the ex wanted to take them somewhere, she could ask the same thing?