Never do a DNA test if you don't want the answers!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I admit that I skimmed through the thread, but OP, have/will you take an actual DNA test to determine if the new guy is really your father and the cool, nice guy actually your brother?
I read an ancestry DNA did not overlap with your father and your mom threw out a name, but that doesn't mean the new guy is your biological or that the man you called Dad isn't.

She already confirmed that he's her dad with a DNA test!

[Anonymous]

^^ The new guy that is, the man she thought was her birth father was ruled out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I admit that I skimmed through the thread, but OP, have/will you take an actual DNA test to determine if the new guy is really your father and the cool, nice guy actually your brother?
I read an ancestry DNA did not overlap with your father and your mom threw out a name, but that doesn't mean the new guy is your biological or that the man you called Dad isn't.

We both did a DNA test for confirmation. It is with "absolute certainty" that he is my brother.

[Anonymous]

So I am excited to see my oldest brother coming this Saturday. It will be just for a few hours in the airport but it will be nice to see them. This week has been difficult as my Dad (the one I grew up with) is very close to passing. To the point of my step mom making some arrangements they hadn't thought of doing. It is sad and I talk to him every day. I make sure he knows that he is honored and loved and how important he is to those he loves. We feel fortunate, actually, that we have had the opportunity to speak about how we feel about him. Some people do not get that opportunity, you hear about it all the time. My mom is in the hospital, as well, and going to a short term care facility until she gets stronger. My home is right next to hers, so I am preparing her home for her return. Quite a week!

[Anonymous]

So, is the "other" family accepting you just like that? They're taking you on your word and trusting some commercialized company's test results.

And to be clear, those brothers are your step brothers, right? Only Dad is your common denominator?


Was it a true DNA test or a general one like you and your dad both have 95% Irish ancestry, for example.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So, is the "other" family accepting you just like that? They're taking you on your word and trusting some commercialized company's test results.

And to be clear, those brothers are your step brothers, right? Only Dad is your common denominator?


Was it a true DNA test or a general one like you and your dad both have 95% Irish ancestry, for example.

She says she took a DNA test with her brother and they are halfs, not steps. You sound pretty judgy for someone who didn't even read the thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So, is the "other" family accepting you just like that? They're taking you on your word and trusting some commercialized company's test results.

And to be clear, those brothers are your step brothers, right? Only Dad is your common denominator?


Was it a true DNA test or a general one like you and your dad both have 95% Irish ancestry, for example.

The "other" family, whom I refer to as my brothers and their families, are quite accepting and loving, yes. We had more than one test that confirms the results. They are my half brothers, as related to me as the brothers that I grew up with. Our relation is confirmed with 100% certainty.

To the poster above that responded to this poster above, thank you. I believe that many people have kind of become emotionally vested in this journey and I am thankful for people that have been interested in following this journey. Some people may be a little more critical or questioning of this whole thing. I want to let you know that it is ok, because everyone has their own background and reasons. It does not hurt my feelings. I am quite secure and confident in what has gone on. So when people ask questions, it is out of their own experiences, and I do respond in a way that reflects that understanding. There have been other posts, much earlier, of quite judgmental individuals. (Not this poster that I'm responding to, but much earlier.) Even their posts are ok as they are clearly dealing with something in their lives/minds/whatever that makes them feel like they need to try to rattle and/or hurt people. Those type of posts I just shake my head and laugh, actually I tend to be sad for people like that.

So thank you to those that care about this journey and find some sort of inspiration. It is for you that I am truly continuing this journaling. There will always be nay-sayers in life. The trick is to hold on to the positive things and let the negativity just roll off like water on wax! You cannot control what people say or do, you can only control how you respond! Blessings.

[Anonymous]

Well, my father passed away this week. It has been very hard. I spoke to him at least once a day, sometimes more, depending on how he was. I am thankful that we all had the opportunity to make sure how he knew how much he was loved and appreciated. I called him often just to tell him I love him and to thank my step mom for taking such amazing care of him. His funeral is a week from today. I will say that I believe I have been blessed to have a dad in my life that loved each of us with all of his heart, did everything that he could to assure we were able to pursue our dreams. He was my cheerleader and friend. I am better because of him and will miss him immensely. See, "father" is not just a noun, it's a verb.

[Anonymous]

You sound like a very sweet, positive, grateful person, OP. Your outlook on life must have served you well over the years- you seem very even-headed. You're a good writer as well.

I'm happy that your family has grown. I'm sorry for your father's passing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You sound like a very sweet, positive, grateful person, OP. Your outlook on life must have served you well over the years- you seem very even-headed. You're a good writer as well.

I'm happy that your family has grown. I'm sorry for your father's passing.

Thank you, you're very kind. I try to be as thankful and positive as possible. Thank you for your well wishes. Blessings!

[Anonymous]

Wow!!! That's an incredible story. I'm so glad they welcomed you with open arms, they sound like good people! Can you tell us how it went with your brother? I have heard from some people who meet up with long last family that they can sense an instant, overwhelming sense of connection to a person- similar to the feeling of "love at first sight" almost- because you are sensing all the similar chemicals, DNA, etc- you can smell it and see it in the facial features and everything else. I would love to hear how it went/goes

[Anonymous]

Very cool story!

I became interested in ancestry etc. a few years ago. I had heard various versions of my mother's father (e.g., he was married to my Grandmother a long time ago, they were never married but together for a period of time etc.). Well, my DNA test uncovered some fairly specific information about my mother's father (and some more family lies and changing versions of stories of my mother's conception). I know that I have two living uncles (i.e., my mother's father's legitimate children). I have hesitated to reach out to them..... maybe I should??? Their Dad/my grandfather was quite wealthy so they will probably first assume that I am an interloper.... but they can do the DNA test, too, if they so desire.....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow!!! That's an incredible story. I'm so glad they welcomed you with open arms, they sound like good people! Can you tell us how it went with your brother? I have heard from some people who meet up with long last family that they can sense an instant, overwhelming sense of connection to a person- similar to the feeling of "love at first sight" almost- because you are sensing all the similar chemicals, DNA, etc- you can smell it and see it in the facial features and everything else. I would love to hear how it went/goes

My first trip down, with my daughter in early August was simply amazing. I met all of the brothers, nieces, nephews (one could not make it) for the annual family reunion. (For me it was a meet, greet & hug-ion.) They were all loving and welcoming. The brothers and I really bonded that weekend as well as my sis in laws.

My husband, daughter and I were supposed to meet the oldest brother and his wife at the airport as they had a bit of time before their flight home from a cruise. They had not met my husband yet as he was unable to go down last month due to work. However, given that my father's funeral is this coming weekend, (the father that raised me,) he had to change plans to see his daughter and her family so that he can be by my side. So, my daughter and I went to spend time with them. It was a wonderful time, though too short as it was just a couple of hours.

That sense of connection is real. The first time I met each of those brother and their families, it was a definite overwhelming and immediate love. The photo of the 4 brothers and I and then of me with the sis in laws is very precious to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Very cool story!

I became interested in ancestry etc. a few years ago. I had heard various versions of my mother's father (e.g., he was married to my Grandmother a long time ago, they were never married but together for a period of time etc.). Well, my DNA test uncovered some fairly specific information about my mother's father (and some more family lies and changing versions of stories of my mother's conception). I know that I have two living uncles (i.e., my mother's father's legitimate children). I have hesitated to reach out to them..... maybe I should??? Their Dad/my grandfather was quite wealthy so they will probably first assume that I am an interloper.... but they can do the DNA test, too, if they so desire.....

That is a difficult situation. The way that I felt, I believe it was my children's right to know about this part of our family. My mother did not want my children to know about the situation because she did not want to feel judged/shamed or whatever. My children and I feel the same way, it was long ago, who cares? There's no judgement. I did tell her that these people are a part of my children's family and they have a right to choose whether they want to establish connections or not. Just be prepared for whatever may come. You may preface with the fact that you are not asking for anything, that you just want to know this part of your family. Go into it with no expectations but that at least you will have had contact. I wish you the best. Feel free to write again, I'd love to hear about your journey and cheer you on in whatever way you decide.

[Anonymous]

OP I am the poster of a newer thread about my husband who may have a sister he never knew. We have decided he should do the DNA test. I read this with interest and I'm glad that your story has turned out so well.