DD bullied for wearing off-brand clothes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just can't believe all of you thinking buying brand name clothes will prevent bullying and it's just for middle school. No it will not get better in high school. It is about sneakers now, but in high school you will need to buy your kids latest smartphone model, a nice car etc... Then you'll wonder why your college educated child with a job can't seem to save any money. It's because they will have to have the Kate Spade bag and Jimmy Choo shoes to fit in. It never ends.

That is a huge leap from buying a few nice brands that aren't crazy expensive to a Kate Spade bag or Jimmy Choo shoes. My parents bought us a mix of clothing and funny thing the first thing I did with my first job was to open a Roth IRA. Nothing wrong with one nice pair of sneakers. I usually buy the cheap ones on clearance but at this point I'm not sure if they are even worth it as my child doesn't flip shoes sizes often and they wear out (and he's not hard on shoes) much more quickly. It does end as you teach your child balance. Mine knows to shop clearance and knows that's when we go on buying sprees.

I graduated high school in 2004 and we all carried Kate Spade bags starting in 1998, when I was 13/14. It was a BFD. We also exclusively wore Steve Madden shoes, Silver Jeans, Michael Stars shirts, A&F, Mavi, and a little later 7 For All Mankind...

You sound insufferable.

You can get many of the brands at TJ Max and Marshalls. You do sound insufferable.

[Anonymous]

School uniforms would solve this problem across the board.

[Anonymous]

I'm really the first one to ask OP what school this is?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm really the first one to ask OP what school this is?

Yeah, not my DD's experience at all. I think she has a great group of friends that truly don't care for this stuff. They aren't the in-crowd but enough of them that they feel secure that they have a group. How did we get so lucky? I was dreading the tween/teen years and the attitude and drama is over-the-top for sure. But overall, it's ok.

[Anonymous]

OP, first, please tell your daughter that you are very proud of her for bringing the problem to you. It shows a lot of maturity and self-awareness that she was able to broach a difficult subject with you. Also tell her that this is not her fault!!!

Second, you should address the bullying issue with the school. Contact your child's counselor or team lead or principal, and go in to have a meeting with them. I don't want to be an alarmist but, honestly, if a few girls have honed in on your kid about attire, no matter what you buy now or what she wears, she still will be subject to bullying. Wearing new clothes will only give the girls new material to work with, so to speak.

Bullying at school to be stopped at the source by the adults in charge. Your kid has taken the first big step. Now, please get to the school so they can resolve it. .

Good luck!

-Signed, a middle school teacher

[Anonymous]

I've also never heard of this happening in our 5th grade. The "coolest" most popular kids are by no mean the best dressed.
Kids are teased because they're annoying to other kids. It's the kids who act out in class for attention that get marginalized and teased. The ones that everyone just
find hard to be around. Clothing (at least at this point) is a complete non-issue (and i have twins). Everyone is wealthy but no one dresses very well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've also never heard of this happening in our 5th grade. The "coolest" most popular kids are by no mean the best dressed.
Kids are teased because they're annoying to other kids. It's the kids who act out in class for attention that get marginalized and teased. The ones that everyone just
find hard to be around. Clothing (at least at this point) is a complete non-issue (and i have twins). Everyone is wealthy but no one dresses very well.

That is because your kids are in 5th grade PP. Wait till 7th or 8th.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:From what I have observed, teen/tween brands now are:
Adidas
Puma
Top shop
Brandy Melville
Forever 21
Madewell
Lululemon

Some kids like:
Vineyard Vines
Lacoste
Uggs
Hunter
H&M

Don't forget Under Armour & North Face... It's like a North Face & Uggz convention in the winter time in my kids middle school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:School uniforms would solve this problem across the board.

Not necessarily. Then they just focus on shoes, bags, jewelry.

[Anonymous]

That's what happens when you shop at Walmart for clothing. You brought this on yourself, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:School uniforms would solve this problem across the board.

Yep. This is why I am very happy that our middle school requires a uniform.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is it bullied or teased?

I think the term "bully" is way over used these days.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just can't believe all of you thinking buying brand name clothes will prevent bullying and it's just for middle school. No it will not get better in high school. It is about sneakers now, but in high school you will need to buy your kids latest smartphone model, a nice car etc... Then you'll wonder why your college educated child with a job can't seem to save any money. It's because they will have to have the Kate Spade bag and Jimmy Choo shoes to fit in. It never ends.

That is a huge leap from buying a few nice brands that aren't crazy expensive to a Kate Spade bag or Jimmy Choo shoes. My parents bought us a mix of clothing and funny thing the first thing I did with my first job was to open a Roth IRA. Nothing wrong with one nice pair of sneakers. I usually buy the cheap ones on clearance but at this point I'm not sure if they are even worth it as my child doesn't flip shoes sizes often and they wear out (and he's not hard on shoes) much more quickly. It does end as you teach your child balance. Mine knows to shop clearance and knows that's when we go on buying sprees.

But if you don't want any of that stuff you bought on 'clearance buying sprees' you have wasted money and you would have been much better off buying the child the one or two pieces that they wanted in the color and size that they wanted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just can't believe all of you thinking buying brand name clothes will prevent bullying and it's just for middle school. No it will not get better in high school. It is about sneakers now, but in high school you will need to buy your kids latest smartphone model, a nice car etc... Then you'll wonder why your college educated child with a job can't seem to save any money. It's because they will have to have the Kate Spade bag and Jimmy Choo shoes to fit in. It never ends.

That is a huge leap from buying a few nice brands that aren't crazy expensive to a Kate Spade bag or Jimmy Choo shoes. My parents bought us a mix of clothing and funny thing the first thing I did with my first job was to open a Roth IRA. Nothing wrong with one nice pair of sneakers. I usually buy the cheap ones on clearance but at this point I'm not sure if they are even worth it as my child doesn't flip shoes sizes often and they wear out (and he's not hard on shoes) much more quickly. It does end as you teach your child balance. Mine knows to shop clearance and knows that's when we go on buying sprees.

I graduated high school in 2004 and we all carried Kate Spade bags starting in 1998, when I was 13/14. It was a BFD. We also exclusively wore Steve Madden shoes, Silver Jeans, Michael Stars shirts, A&F, Mavi, and a little later 7 For All Mankind...

You sound insufferable.

You can get many of the brands at TJ Max and Marshalls. You do sound insufferable.

But never in the colors that the child wants. I shop TJ Maxx and Marshall's and I know that my teen DD doesn't want a NorthFace fleece in fuschia or gold.
Don't be that clueless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just can't believe all of you thinking buying brand name clothes will prevent bullying and it's just for middle school. No it will not get better in high school. It is about sneakers now, but in high school you will need to buy your kids latest smartphone model, a nice car etc... Then you'll wonder why your college educated child with a job can't seem to save any money. It's because they will have to have the Kate Spade bag and Jimmy Choo shoes to fit in. It never ends.

That is a huge leap from buying a few nice brands that aren't crazy expensive to a Kate Spade bag or Jimmy Choo shoes. My parents bought us a mix of clothing and funny thing the first thing I did with my first job was to open a Roth IRA. Nothing wrong with one nice pair of sneakers. I usually buy the cheap ones on clearance but at this point I'm not sure if they are even worth it as my child doesn't flip shoes sizes often and they wear out (and he's not hard on shoes) much more quickly. It does end as you teach your child balance. Mine knows to shop clearance and knows that's when we go on buying sprees.

I graduated high school in 2004 and we all carried Kate Spade bags starting in 1998, when I was 13/14. It was a BFD. We also exclusively wore Steve Madden shoes, Silver Jeans, Michael Stars shirts, A&F, Mavi, and a little later 7 For All Mankind...

You sound insufferable.

You can get many of the brands at TJ Max and Marshalls. You do sound insufferable.

But never in the colors that the child wants. I shop TJ Maxx and Marshall's and I know that my teen DD doesn't want a NorthFace fleece in fuschia or gold.
Don't be that clueless.

They don't just have fuchsia and gold. You have to go more than once.