DD bullied for wearing off-brand clothes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just can't believe all of you thinking buying brand name clothes will prevent bullying and it's just for middle school. No it will not get better in high school. It is about sneakers now, but in high school you will need to buy your kids latest smartphone model, a nice car etc... Then you'll wonder why your college educated child with a job can't seem to save any money. It's because they will have to have the Kate Spade bag and Jimmy Choo shoes to fit in. It never ends.

That is a huge leap from buying a few nice brands that aren't crazy expensive to a Kate Spade bag or Jimmy Choo shoes. My parents bought us a mix of clothing and funny thing the first thing I did with my first job was to open a Roth IRA. Nothing wrong with one nice pair of sneakers. I usually buy the cheap ones on clearance but at this point I'm not sure if they are even worth it as my child doesn't flip shoes sizes often and they wear out (and he's not hard on shoes) much more quickly. It does end as you teach your child balance. Mine knows to shop clearance and knows that's when we go on buying sprees.

But if you don't want any of that stuff you bought on 'clearance buying sprees' you have wasted money and you would have been much better off buying the child the one or two pieces that they wanted in the color and size that they wanted.[/quote

I have a boy and yes, I'm saving a lot of money. He just cares about UA, Nike and Adidas. 1-2 pieces isn't enough and I'm paying far less than even Walmart clothing. Even if stuff does not get worn (which happens given how much we have), its still far cheaper.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just can't believe all of you thinking buying brand name clothes will prevent bullying and it's just for middle school. No it will not get better in high school. It is about sneakers now, but in high school you will need to buy your kids latest smartphone model, a nice car etc... Then you'll wonder why your college educated child with a job can't seem to save any money. It's because they will have to have the Kate Spade bag and Jimmy Choo shoes to fit in. It never ends.

That is a huge leap from buying a few nice brands that aren't crazy expensive to a Kate Spade bag or Jimmy Choo shoes. My parents bought us a mix of clothing and funny thing the first thing I did with my first job was to open a Roth IRA. Nothing wrong with one nice pair of sneakers. I usually buy the cheap ones on clearance but at this point I'm not sure if they are even worth it as my child doesn't flip shoes sizes often and they wear out (and he's not hard on shoes) much more quickly. It does end as you teach your child balance. Mine knows to shop clearance and knows that's when we go on buying sprees.

I graduated high school in 2004 and we all carried Kate Spade bags starting in 1998, when I was 13/14. It was a BFD. We also exclusively wore Steve Madden shoes, Silver Jeans, Michael Stars shirts, A&F, Mavi, and a little later 7 For All Mankind...

You sound insufferable.

You can get many of the brands at TJ Max and Marshalls. You do sound insufferable.

But never in the colors that the child wants. I shop TJ Maxx and Marshall's and I know that my teen DD doesn't want a NorthFace fleece in fuschia or gold.
Don't be that clueless.

They don't just have fuchsia and gold. You have to go more than once.

I used to go a lot - but it takes a lot of time doing that. Time better spent doing other more productive things - and yes, they just have the 'off colors'. Those colors are for you - not for your kid.

My mother is a big Marshalls fan and would buy my DD piles of 'bargain stuff' from Marshall's but it's still in the closet with the tags on.
That's wasted money. My mom was big into the bargain shopping thing but again it's a waste if it's not worn. Also - you KNOW that you come out of that place with piles of stuff that you didn't go to get and that you don't need. I love Marshall's too but it's not all about the bargain.

I had to explain to mom that she just wanted one or two things from X store instead and that's what they do now.

I will say that I find good stuff for my son there - under armor athletic cleats in large sizes for $20, and some nice polo shirts for wearing out. Underwear. But not his whole wardrobe.

[Anonymous]

I was bullied starting in 5th grade about clothes - back in the late 80s in small town PA. I can believe this is happening. My mother, bless her, did her best to buy me a few "esprit" items and supplement with off-brand leggings. My parents had limited resources and she didn't want me to suffer but couldn't afford a whole wardrobe of designer clothes. The mean girls were not fooled. They teased me nonetheless.

Some of it is inevitable and was due to underlying social issues. Otherwise, yes, uniforms would have been amazing, but I imagine they might have found other reasons to pick on me. I was more interested in school and they were more interested in boys/fashion/teenage stuff. I think some of this division happens naturally in 5th grade. I wish it didn't

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was bullied starting in 5th grade about clothes - back in the late 80s in small town PA. I can believe this is happening. My mother, bless her, did her best to buy me a few "esprit" items and supplement with off-brand leggings. My parents had limited resources and she didn't want me to suffer but couldn't afford a whole wardrobe of designer clothes. The mean girls were not fooled. They teased me nonetheless.

Some of it is inevitable and was due to underlying social issues. Otherwise, yes, uniforms would have been amazing, but I imagine they might have found other reasons to pick on me. I was more interested in school and they were more interested in boys/fashion/teenage stuff. I think some of this division happens naturally in 5th grade. I wish it didn't

I was teased too and it stopped when I bought myself a few Esprit items and a pair of docksider boat shoes with my own babysitting money.
My mother firbid me to do so which made her a jerk (and she enjoyed her sexualky maturing DD being knocked down a peg?) but I didn't listen.
Even if I hadn't blended in and had still been teased I really enjoyed the darned clothes - they fit nicely and I loved the styling. Everyone should have a little pleasure and some choice in their lives.

Those girls sound terrible - you must have gone to a crappy school if that was allowed to go on.
I hipe they're going through their third divorces now, that they have herpes and their hair is falling out now!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:School uniforms would solve this problem across the board.

Not necessarily. Then they just focus on shoes, bags, jewelry.

Most schools with uniforms limit this stuff, too.

[Anonymous]

I don't remember being outright teased re: clothes in middle school, but acutely remember how self-conscious I was about never having the 'right' things (like, my mom finally bought me Adidas Sambas...when everyone else had moved on to Converse). I was the oldest of 3 kids and didn't have anyone to help me navigate through the transition to more 'teenage' stuff (clothes, music, etc.). In 7th grade, I got an Adidas puffer jacket for Christmas and that thing became my armor...it mattered less if my jeans weren't a 'cool' brand or my t-shirts were plain solid colors when I at least had the same jacket 'everyone' else was wearing. Same thing in college, when designer brands were de rigeur...bought a North Face fleece over my first winter break and had the same feeling of 'camouflage'.

I think you can and should have discussions with your DD about not getting caught up in always having the latest and greatest, and how ultimately the comfort and performance of clothing items is more important than the label...and then work with her to identify the one or two items that are really important to her, and that she can get a lot of use out of (maybe a bag, or jacket, or shoes). As she gets older, 'luxury' purchases can be special gifts, or things she works for with her own money.

[Anonymous]

I think u need a few things. Head to toe Marshalls or Walmart is going to bring on teasing in MS.

[Anonymous]

I'll never forget BEGGING my parents for a pair of Guess jeans in eighth grade. My mom thought it was bonkers to spend $50 on jeans when I could wear my brother's old Levi's for free.

To her credit, she bought me a pair for my birthday. Wore them like three times a week.

The irony is that as soon as I hit high school, I began to hang out with kids who thought old ripped Levi's were cool, and I began to raid my brothers closet. That started a whole different set of problems, but yes, OP you can splurge on a few brand name items and it won't spoil your daughter.

[Anonymous]

Shopping at stores for poor will do that too you

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Shopping at stores for poor will do that too you

Not paying attention in English class will do that ^^ to your writing skills.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Shopping at stores for poor will do that too you

Not paying attention in English class will do that ^^ to your writing skills.

Wow, way to be extremely rude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:School uniforms would solve this problem across the board.

Not necessarily. Then they just focus on shoes, bags, jewelry.

Most schools with uniforms limit this stuff, too.

Exactly. My daughter is at Holton and she doesn't even care about name brands. We aren't poor but we are on a lot of FA and not one of rich families. I credit uniforms for her complete lack of caring of name brands. Throw in the all-girls and no need to impress boys, which really increases the girl bullying anyway - and we are gold. In upper school the girls have free dress Friday and you would think they would come in all done up in name brands and hip clothes. Nope, they come in Holton sweatpants and a t-shirt/sweatshirt. In the Spring/summer it is sport shorts, tees and sneakers or flip flops.

Holton lower school - no jewelry, no make-up, shoes must be tan or navy. Most wear navy mary-janes, navy Toms or tan boat shoes.
Holton middle - earrings only, any type of shoes. Most wear athletic sneakers, Converse, Uggs or basic flip flops depending on time of year. Free shirt on Fridays (they all wear t-shirts)
Holton upper - free dress Fridays (they all look like they rolled out of bed)

Also, they have a used uniform sale and I picked up jumpers for $6 and skirts for $5. SO much cheaper and buying one pair of $40 toms for half the year is easy for almost anyone.


Uniforms 100% can solve a problem like this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think u need a few things. Head to toe Marshalls or Walmart is going to bring on teasing in MS.

Marshalls actually has name-brands

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is a middle ground- buy her some name brand things within your budget and to the degree you think appropriate.
I'm not a fan of spending $100 on lululemon leggings, but I supplement DD's babysitting earnings to help her get a pair or two. These things make a difference between struggling socially and doing well for some kids.

What the?? $100 for a pair of leggings? Those ugly leggings that show camel toe and have ugly prints on them? They are popular for moms, not kids.

[Anonymous]

I can always spot a Marshals It's the clearance rack of regular stores.