DD bullied for wearing off-brand clothes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My parents were cheap and neither of them cared much about clothes themselves. They had money but didnt consider clothes or fashion important.

They wouldnt buy me the nice clothes I wanted in highschool. I found a way to get what I wanted anyway and that wasn't a good thing.

I offer this as a cautionary tale...

That's kind of a dumb way to look at it. Buy your kids what they want, or they will shoplift? Ridiculously entitled. It's not a natural consequence, it's a sign of a kid with issues. How about the kid instead decides to find a way to earn the money they need? That's what my friends did when I was a kid. (I just didn't care if we bought second-hand or off-label clothes.)

[Anonymous]

This is absurd, my middle school DD doesn't wear the brand labels and she is not bullied. She wears what she is comfortable wearing and could care less about the brand. The bullying is not going to be fixed by your DD wearing more expensive clothes, the bullies will just find something else to focus on. teach your daughter to stand up to the bullies and they will go away if they don't get the reaction they want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids do not care or want name brand clothes. They have some that were gifted to them but it is not on their radar at all. Are they just lucky that they are not being bullied? They go to very diverse schools - racially and SES and we have all kinds of diversity there. 12 yr old DS, 15 yr old DS and 17 yr old DD.

Same here. I can't even imagine that sort of thing happening at my DC's school. Is your DD at a public or private?

[Anonymous]

Around that time my parents started giving me a clothing allowance - my mom gave me $80/month and was in charge of my own clothes. Maybe do something like that? Give her $100/month, and she can spend it on what she wants? That way if she wants something expensive, she can save up for it and forego other stuff.

Either way, I kind of doubt she is being bullied for not wearing brand-name clothes. If she is, I doubt it's really about the clothes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I make good money, yet I don't like to spend much on clothes. My DD has never once brought up the issue over the clothes I'm getting her until she came home and told me some of the girls were bullying her. Do I spend more money buying her clothes that will
Make her popular or do I tell her to suck it up and ignore these bullies?

I bought the clothes. Some came from Goodwill and some were new on late summer sales. (Abercrombie has a big sale at the end of the summer.) I make sure that the clothes my kids have are at least one step above the rest of their peers.

Dumb, I know, but so much easier than dealing with bullying.

Most things from Goodwill look Goodwill. We have friends who do that to their teens and they look terrible. The kids love visiting us during the summer as its the only time they get new, nicely fitting clothing.

I used to be so jealous of my brother because he got all of the name brand items as hand-me-downs from our cousins, all of whom are male. I loved going to visit my aunt in CA each summer because she only had boys and wanted a daughter so badly that she spoiled me with pretty much whatever I wanted. It was the only time I got new, name brand clothes. I always made a promise to myself to save a few pieces for the first week of school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Around that time my parents started giving me a clothing allowance - my mom gave me $80/month and was in charge of my own clothes. Maybe do something like that? Give her $100/month, and she can spend it on what she wants? That way if she wants something expensive, she can save up for it and forego other stuff.

Either way, I kind of doubt she is being bullied for not wearing brand-name clothes. If she is, I doubt it's really about the clothes.

That's what we do, essentially. We don't physically give them the money, but we do seasonal shopping trips where they have a set amount to spend. Anything they want to purchase after that seasonal trip must be purchased with their own money. I don't include growth spurts or clothes for school functions in there. Those are things the kids really can't control, you know?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just can't believe all of you thinking buying brand name clothes will prevent bullying and it's just for middle school. No it will not get better in high school. It is about sneakers now, but in high school you will need to buy your kids latest smartphone model, a nice car etc... Then you'll wonder why your college educated child with a job can't seem to save any money. It's because they will have to have the Kate Spade bag and Jimmy Choo shoes to fit in. It never ends.

That is a huge leap from buying a few nice brands that aren't crazy expensive to a Kate Spade bag or Jimmy Choo shoes. My parents bought us a mix of clothing and funny thing the first thing I did with my first job was to open a Roth IRA. Nothing wrong with one nice pair of sneakers. I usually buy the cheap ones on clearance but at this point I'm not sure if they are even worth it as my child doesn't flip shoes sizes often and they wear out (and he's not hard on shoes) much more quickly. It does end as you teach your child balance. Mine knows to shop clearance and knows that's when we go on buying sprees.

I graduated high school in 2004 and we all carried Kate Spade bags starting in 1998, when I was 13/14. It was a BFD. We also exclusively wore Steve Madden shoes, Silver Jeans, Michael Stars shirts, A&F, Mavi, and a little later 7 For All Mankind...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just can't believe all of you thinking buying brand name clothes will prevent bullying and it's just for middle school. No it will not get better in high school. It is about sneakers now, but in high school you will need to buy your kids latest smartphone model, a nice car etc... Then you'll wonder why your college educated child with a job can't seem to save any money. It's because they will have to have the Kate Spade bag and Jimmy Choo shoes to fit in. It never ends.

That is a huge leap from buying a few nice brands that aren't crazy expensive to a Kate Spade bag or Jimmy Choo shoes. My parents bought us a mix of clothing and funny thing the first thing I did with my first job was to open a Roth IRA. Nothing wrong with one nice pair of sneakers. I usually buy the cheap ones on clearance but at this point I'm not sure if they are even worth it as my child doesn't flip shoes sizes often and they wear out (and he's not hard on shoes) much more quickly. It does end as you teach your child balance. Mine knows to shop clearance and knows that's when we go on buying sprees.

I graduated high school in 2004 and we all carried Kate Spade bags starting in 1998, when I was 13/14. It was a BFD. We also exclusively wore Steve Madden shoes, Silver Jeans, Michael Stars shirts, A&F, Mavi, and a little later 7 For All Mankind...

You sound insufferable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just can't believe all of you thinking buying brand name clothes will prevent bullying and it's just for middle school. No it will not get better in high school. It is about sneakers now, but in high school you will need to buy your kids latest smartphone model, a nice car etc... Then you'll wonder why your college educated child with a job can't seem to save any money. It's because they will have to have the Kate Spade bag and Jimmy Choo shoes to fit in. It never ends.

That is a huge leap from buying a few nice brands that aren't crazy expensive to a Kate Spade bag or Jimmy Choo shoes. My parents bought us a mix of clothing and funny thing the first thing I did with my first job was to open a Roth IRA. Nothing wrong with one nice pair of sneakers. I usually buy the cheap ones on clearance but at this point I'm not sure if they are even worth it as my child doesn't flip shoes sizes often and they wear out (and he's not hard on shoes) much more quickly. It does end as you teach your child balance. Mine knows to shop clearance and knows that's when we go on buying sprees.

I graduated high school in 2004 and we all carried Kate Spade bags starting in 1998, when I was 13/14. It was a BFD. We also exclusively wore Steve Madden shoes, Silver Jeans, Michael Stars shirts, A&F, Mavi, and a little later 7 For All Mankind...

You sound insufferable.

That's just the way junior high was where I grew up! I remember it mattering a lot to me then... I'm sure it matters even more to kids now with Instagram and Snapchat requiring them to further compare themselves to their peers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My parents were cheap and neither of them cared much about clothes themselves. They had money but didnt consider clothes or fashion important.

They wouldnt buy me the nice clothes I wanted in highschool. I found a way to get what I wanted anyway and that wasn't a good thing.

I offer this as a cautionary tale...

My parents didn't buy me clothes at all in high school. I got a job. It can go either way, I suppose.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents were cheap and neither of them cared much about clothes themselves. They had money but didnt consider clothes or fashion important.

They wouldnt buy me the nice clothes I wanted in highschool. I found a way to get what I wanted anyway and that wasn't a good thing.

I offer this as a cautionary tale...

Hello, fellow former shoplifter!

Me + 100.

Where there's a will, there's a way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Around that time my parents started giving me a clothing allowance - my mom gave me $80/month and was in charge of my own clothes. Maybe do something like that? Give her $100/month, and she can spend it on what she wants? That way if she wants something expensive, she can save up for it and forego other stuff.

Either way, I kind of doubt she is being bullied for not wearing brand-name clothes. If she is, I doubt it's really about the clothes.

This.

I'm suddenly very thankful that my kid is as clueless/oblivious about both what other people think of him and fashion as I am.

[Anonymous]

i think the nice thing these days is athleisure - the nike/adidas/under armour/puma clothes last longer (it's all synthetic materials) over cottons/etc.

in the 90's and 2000's it wasn't cool to wear sporty clothes everywhere and all the time.

now it is and it is actually cheaper just be decked out head to toe in adidas/nike.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I make good money, yet I don't like to spend much on clothes. My DD has never once brought up the issue over the clothes I'm getting her until she came home and told me some of the girls were bullying her. Do I spend more money buying her clothes that will
Make her popular or do I tell her to suck it up and ignore these bullies?

I bought the clothes. Some came from Goodwill and some were new on late summer sales. (Abercrombie has a big sale at the end of the summer.) I make sure that the clothes my kids have are at least one step above the rest of their peers.

Dumb, I know, but so much easier than dealing with bullying.

Most things from Goodwill look Goodwill. We have friends who do that to their teens and they look terrible. The kids love visiting us during the summer as its the only time they get new, nicely fitting clothing.

I used to be so jealous of my brother because he got all of the name brand items as hand-me-downs from our cousins, all of whom are male. I loved going to visit my aunt in CA each summer because she only had boys and wanted a daughter so badly that she spoiled me with pretty much whatever I wanted. It was the only time I got new, name brand clothes. I always made a promise to myself to save a few pieces for the first week of school.

I have a boy so it is fun taking girls. I also do it to spite Mom as she hates me. Its my husband's friends. The youngest is particular about clothing so the parents give her a hard time. I love sending her with a suitcase full of clothing as she'll wear what I pick. This family could afford better but Mom loves thrifting, which is fine for some stuff but not the entire wardrobe, including shoes. I couldn't believe the sneakers she sent the girls in. If she's sticking me with the girls as a free babysitter for a few weeks, then I'm doing what ever I want (they gave up arguing).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:i think the nice thing these days is athleisure - the nike/adidas/under armour/puma clothes last longer (it's all synthetic materials) over cottons/etc.

in the 90's and 2000's it wasn't cool to wear sporty clothes everywhere and all the time.

now it is and it is actually cheaper just be decked out head to toe in adidas/nike.

I'm finding UA is cheaper than Nike and Adidas depending on where/when you buy. Our Nike isn't holding up that well. Adidas is mixed. Agree the synthetic is much better as the cotton wears too quickly.