Any quality 30+ guys left?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, thanks for this thread, OP!

I've been very cranky lately about my math phd DH who is 34 and never managed to get a tenure track job. He is currently looking to transition into industry where apparently he can start at between 150-250k base salary. I have been freaking out about this major transition and feeling terrified about the future because I feel like we are both so old for that kind of upheaval, and I have been resentful that we haven't yet been able to start a family. I am 32 like you.

After reading the replies to this thread, I think I am going to go give my DH the best blow job of his life and make a pact never to bitch about my life again. God, I hope he doesn't figure out his value (he is very attractive, too) before we have kids. He'd probably dump me for being as big of a B as I've been...

I think I remember a previous thread you started. Really? This is pretty ugly and bad ju ju on your part, especially considering you were complaining about his career prospects.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
A good catch:

- Has a respectable career earning a decent living = 150k+

I laffed. Not only did I laff, but I guffawed.

You think $150k+ a "decent" living. Your expectations are clearly out of whack.

Why don't you post a photo of yourself in this thread so we can determine whether you are not only worthy of a man making $150k but if you are capable of snagging one.

We'll be waiting.

I am a size 2, fit petite brunette who gets told she looks 25 and resembles Eva Longoria all the time. I love hiking, cats and lifting. I am great with children (neighborhood babysitter growing up) and have a Philosophy degree from Bryn Mawr. I do not earn a very good living and make 60k in fundraising. I do not think my requirements are outlandish. Everyone I know is married to guys with a similar profile.

If everyone you know is married to guy's with a similar profile and you're not that means you likely are the one that is lacking. I've seen this a couple of my wife's friends. Similar circle. All the husbands are of a similar status level but the couple perpetual single girlfriends will not be set up with anyone they see as "lesser" than their friends husbands. Here's the honest truth from a 30's guy that fits your profile, for the both of those friends of my wife I'd happily go out for drinks and would love to have had a go in bed with them in my single days but I can't imagine dating them seriously. Their personality precludes it.

Your post reminds me of them immensely. I'd never take the chance on a ltr with someone that categorizes me on requirements like that. Especially on 150k salary at a mid career point. I'd never trust she liked me for me, or that she wasn't ultimately after my trust funds. Would she even stick around if experienced hardship, as you know the wedding vows state you're supposed to? And the guys who are cool with a girl who significantly values their money/income; bad news. They're going for a much younger model vehicle than you. Doesn't matter how fit you are or how much you lift.

As a fellow philosophy major I think you've lost your focus. You're requirements look incredibly superficial on paper. If was single, I'd dig a hot philosophy major who I could bond with over common interests. You being in your 30's wouldn't be an issue. I met my wife when she turned 30 and I chose her over a multitude of younger women I was casually dating at the time. Stop focusing on a checklist and start looking for the Good again. Figure out the ethical qualities you want in a partner and go for that. And imagine the type of person your dream partner would want to date and start improving yourself towards that.

Lots of philosophy majors around here. I get your point and I think you make some good recs for OP, but I also don't think her "standards" are unreasonable. If she lives in the DC area, wanting a partner who makes $150k is certainly not "gold digging," as you'll be living a comfortable but not extravagant life. It's high enough that they will be able to afford a mortgage in the area. Less, and you're looking at high-rise condos (which are a bad investment) or perpetual renting instead of the modest, older houses that they'll be able to afford on $200k.

Anyone who wants to jump on me for being okay with the OP being able to afford a house with her prospective husbands, flame away. I don't think she is being unreasonable. I also don't think this salary number rules out 95% of men as some have said in this thread. Maybe that percentage is right for the whole country, but not in this area. I may be wrong about this.

If she had said 75-100k I would have given her lots more leeway on the gold digger angle. A household income of that range in combination with hers and decent monetary habits would easily put you in the category of being able to afford a 500k home. There are still a lot of great starter homes in the DMV for that price. 100k downpayment could be made easy in 3 years with good saving habits and that's assuming that neither partner already has savings. At that point with current rates your payment would only be 1900, much less than rent for a lot these new apartments.

One of my issues with her is that she's looking for a fairytale prince wanting someone who makes 150k a year and isn't a workaholic. That's like planning for retirement by playing the lottery. Sure there's a chance that you land that but its so rare it's the exception rather than the rule. People who make 150k, even in this city work. And work a lot and work hard. If she wants the lifestyle that comes with 150k salary thats fine but it's hurting her dating life by putting that on her imaginary future spouse instead of leveraging her own career to get her to that salary.


Also I don't like cats so that might have factored in also. My dogs just wouldn't take the addition of a feline sibling lightly.

I'm not sure I get this - she wants the guy to also have hobbies and interests and be nice. Not sure how that is controversial.

500k gets you squat near DC these days. Really. Terrible prospects. You need 600k to get into a modest shack in a decent school district. There's your extra 50k right there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
A good catch:

- Has a respectable career earning a decent living = 150k+

I laffed. Not only did I laff, but I guffawed.

You think $150k+ a "decent" living. Your expectations are clearly out of whack.

Why don't you post a photo of yourself in this thread so we can determine whether you are not only worthy of a man making $150k but if you are capable of snagging one.

We'll be waiting.

I am a size 2, fit petite brunette who gets told she looks 25 and resembles Eva Longoria all the time. I love hiking, cats and lifting. I am great with children (neighborhood babysitter growing up) and have a Philosophy degree from Bryn Mawr. I do not earn a very good living and make 60k in fundraising. I do not think my requirements are outlandish. Everyone I know is married to guys with a similar profile.

If everyone you know is married to guy's with a similar profile and you're not that means you likely are the one that is lacking. I've seen this a couple of my wife's friends. Similar circle. All the husbands are of a similar status level but the couple perpetual single girlfriends will not be set up with anyone they see as "lesser" than their friends husbands. Here's the honest truth from a 30's guy that fits your profile, for the both of those friends of my wife I'd happily go out for drinks and would love to have had a go in bed with them in my single days but I can't imagine dating them seriously. Their personality precludes it.

Your post reminds me of them immensely. I'd never take the chance on a ltr with someone that categorizes me on requirements like that. Especially on 150k salary at a mid career point. I'd never trust she liked me for me, or that she wasn't ultimately after my trust funds. Would she even stick around if experienced hardship, as you know the wedding vows state you're supposed to? And the guys who are cool with a girl who significantly values their money/income; bad news. They're going for a much younger model vehicle than you. Doesn't matter how fit you are or how much you lift.

As a fellow philosophy major I think you've lost your focus. You're requirements look incredibly superficial on paper. If was single, I'd dig a hot philosophy major who I could bond with over common interests. You being in your 30's wouldn't be an issue. I met my wife when she turned 30 and I chose her over a multitude of younger women I was casually dating at the time. Stop focusing on a checklist and start looking for the Good again. Figure out the ethical qualities you want in a partner and go for that. And imagine the type of person your dream partner would want to date and start improving yourself towards that.

Lots of philosophy majors around here. I get your point and I think you make some good recs for OP, but I also don't think her "standards" are unreasonable. If she lives in the DC area, wanting a partner who makes $150k is certainly not "gold digging," as you'll be living a comfortable but not extravagant life. It's high enough that they will be able to afford a mortgage in the area. Less, and you're looking at high-rise condos (which are a bad investment) or perpetual renting instead of the modest, older houses that they'll be able to afford on $200k.

Anyone who wants to jump on me for being okay with the OP being able to afford a house with her prospective husbands, flame away. I don't think she is being unreasonable. I also don't think this salary number rules out 95% of men as some have said in this thread. Maybe that percentage is right for the whole country, but not in this area. I may be wrong about this.

If she had said 75-100k I would have given her lots more leeway on the gold digger angle. A household income of that range in combination with hers and decent monetary habits would easily put you in the category of being able to afford a 500k home. There are still a lot of great starter homes in the DMV for that price. 100k downpayment could be made easy in 3 years with good saving habits and that's assuming that neither partner already has savings. At that point with current rates your payment would only be 1900, much less than rent for a lot these new apartments.

One of my issues with her is that she's looking for a fairytale prince wanting someone who makes 150k a year and isn't a workaholic. That's like planning for retirement by playing the lottery. Sure there's a chance that you land that but its so rare it's the exception rather than the rule. People who make 150k, even in this city work. And work a lot and work hard. If she wants the lifestyle that comes with 150k salary thats fine but it's hurting her dating life by putting that on her imaginary future spouse instead of leveraging her own career to get her to that salary.


Also I don't like cats so that might have factored in also. My dogs just wouldn't take the addition of a feline sibling lightly.

I'm not sure I get this - she wants the guy to also have hobbies and interests and be nice. Not sure how that is controversial.

500k gets you squat near DC these days. Really. Terrible prospects. You need 600k to get into a modest shack in a decent school district. There's your extra 50k right there.

500k will still net you a nice house in Springfield or fairfax with decent school districts. Or buy a fixerupper in a trending neighborhood Trinidad if you're not worried about kids/school district which she wouldn't be now, as a single girl. The hobbies and being nice wasn't the issue I pointed out. The salary was. 150k a year men in the DMV in their 30s are rare and more likely looking for someone younger than her. If the 150k is most important to her she could easily find that by upping her age bracket to a guy in his 40s. I've seen that among friends a lot and then she would still be a hot commodity at 30. But guys earning that amount in their 30s aren't settling down with her type, I know I'm in that group as are many of my friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Spent my twenties in a relationship that wasn't a good fit. Finally broke up at 32.

It seems all the good catches are snagged up.

The ones left in the singles market are playboys or losers.

Whats a girl to do?

Get you self together and go to one of the Capitals playoff games this week, lots of good looking single guys at hockey games. That where my sister and a good friend met their significant others.

Barf.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
A good catch:

- Has a respectable career earning a decent living = 150k+

I laffed. Not only did I laff, but I guffawed.

You think $150k+ a "decent" living. Your expectations are clearly out of whack.

Why don't you post a photo of yourself in this thread so we can determine whether you are not only worthy of a man making $150k but if you are capable of snagging one.

We'll be waiting.

28 y/o F here

I anticipate that I will make 150k by my early 30s (career trajectory). Would be totally fine with a guy with a decent job (e.g. teacher, professor, non profit work, etc) making 50k plus, but the tradeoff would be that his career would have to take a back seat to mine (e.g. he has more flexible schedule, stays home w kids, etc) in the future.

Riiggghhht. . . and how's that search going for you, PP?

Ha!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I found my husband in my 20's, he was not earning anywhere close to $150k. I had to take a risk and make an investment in a person who might eventually be a high earner. I got him before he knew what he was worth.

Now, you're looking to buy high. These decent men know their worth. It's going to take someone exceptional to catch their eyes. Best of luck.

Let that be a lesson, guys: Women LOVE potential.

Only if they are getting desperate.

[Anonymous]

OP, at 35, my DH was making $80k. At 50, he's making $500k. Then again when we met, he was making $3.35/hr. We thought $80k was amazing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
A good catch:

- Has a respectable career earning a decent living = 150k+

I laffed. Not only did I laff, but I guffawed.

You think $150k+ a "decent" living. Your expectations are clearly out of whack.

Why don't you post a photo of yourself in this thread so we can determine whether you are not only worthy of a man making $150k but if you are capable of snagging one.

We'll be waiting.

I am a size 2, fit petite brunette who gets told she looks 25 and resembles Eva Longoria all the time. I love hiking, cats and lifting. I am great with children (neighborhood babysitter growing up) and have a Philosophy degree from Bryn Mawr. I do not earn a very good living and make 60k in fundraising. I do not think my requirements are outlandish. Everyone I know is married to guys with a similar profile.

If everyone you know is married to guy's with a similar profile and you're not that means you likely are the one that is lacking. I've seen this a couple of my wife's friends. Similar circle. All the husbands are of a similar status level but the couple perpetual single girlfriends will not be set up with anyone they see as "lesser" than their friends husbands. Here's the honest truth from a 30's guy that fits your profile, for the both of those friends of my wife I'd happily go out for drinks and would love to have had a go in bed with them in my single days but I can't imagine dating them seriously. Their personality precludes it.

Your post reminds me of them immensely. I'd never take the chance on a ltr with someone that categorizes me on requirements like that. Especially on 150k salary at a mid career point. I'd never trust she liked me for me, or that she wasn't ultimately after my trust funds. Would she even stick around if experienced hardship, as you know the wedding vows state you're supposed to? And the guys who are cool with a girl who significantly values their money/income; bad news. They're going for a much younger model vehicle than you. Doesn't matter how fit you are or how much you lift.

As a fellow philosophy major I think you've lost your focus. You're requirements look incredibly superficial on paper. If was single, I'd dig a hot philosophy major who I could bond with over common interests. You being in your 30's wouldn't be an issue. I met my wife when she turned 30 and I chose her over a multitude of younger women I was casually dating at the time. Stop focusing on a checklist and start looking for the Good again. Figure out the ethical qualities you want in a partner and go for that. And imagine the type of person your dream partner would want to date and start improving yourself towards that.

Lots of philosophy majors around here. I get your point and I think you make some good recs for OP, but I also don't think her "standards" are unreasonable. If she lives in the DC area, wanting a partner who makes $150k is certainly not "gold digging," as you'll be living a comfortable but not extravagant life. It's high enough that they will be able to afford a mortgage in the area. Less, and you're looking at high-rise condos (which are a bad investment) or perpetual renting instead of the modest, older houses that they'll be able to afford on $200k.

Anyone who wants to jump on me for being okay with the OP being able to afford a house with her prospective husbands, flame away. I don't think she is being unreasonable. I also don't think this salary number rules out 95% of men as some have said in this thread. Maybe that percentage is right for the whole country, but not in this area. I may be wrong about this.

If she had said 75-100k I would have given her lots more leeway on the gold digger angle. A household income of that range in combination with hers and decent monetary habits would easily put you in the category of being able to afford a 500k home. There are still a lot of great starter homes in the DMV for that price. 100k downpayment could be made easy in 3 years with good saving habits and that's assuming that neither partner already has savings. At that point with current rates your payment would only be 1900, much less than rent for a lot these new apartments.

One of my issues with her is that she's looking for a fairytale prince wanting someone who makes 150k a year and isn't a workaholic. That's like planning for retirement by playing the lottery. Sure there's a chance that you land that but its so rare it's the exception rather than the rule. People who make 150k, even in this city work. And work a lot and work hard. If she wants the lifestyle that comes with 150k salary thats fine but it's hurting her dating life by putting that on her imaginary future spouse instead of leveraging her own career to get her to that salary.


Also I don't like cats so that might have factored in also. My dogs just wouldn't take the addition of a feline sibling lightly.

I'm not sure I get this - she wants the guy to also have hobbies and interests and be nice. Not sure how that is controversial.

500k gets you squat near DC these days. Really. Terrible prospects. You need 600k to get into a modest shack in a decent school district. There's your extra 50k right there.

500k will still net you a nice house in Springfield or fairfax with decent school districts. Or buy a fixerupper in a trending neighborhood Trinidad if you're not worried about kids/school district which she wouldn't be now, as a single girl. The hobbies and being nice wasn't the issue I pointed out. The salary was. 150k a year men in the DMV in their 30s are rare and more likely looking for someone younger than her. If the 150k is most important to her she could easily find that by upping her age bracket to a guy in his 40s. I've seen that among friends a lot and then she would still be a hot commodity at 30. But guys earning that amount in their 30s aren't settling down with her type, I know I'm in that group as are many of my friends.

Disagree on the real estate. Fairfax with decent schools definitely out. Fairfax with shitty schools, you're still searching pretty hard and having trouble coming up with prospects. Springfield has a few more selections, but at your price point we are looking at mansions with 1,300 sq feet. My point is that $150k is hardly gold digging. That's a decent professional salary in the area. All these people shocked and appalled by her gall must be from the boondocks where $15/hour means you've hit the motherlode.

Fair enough on the age bracket. I'm not out on the dating scene so I'll defer to you.

[Anonymous]

As other have mentioned, you are excluding 95% of men on your income requirements alone. Are you in the 95% percentile of women? If you were, you wouldn't be posting here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
A good catch:

- Has a respectable career earning a decent living = 150k+

I laffed. Not only did I laff, but I guffawed.

You think $150k+ a "decent" living. Your expectations are clearly out of whack.

Why don't you post a photo of yourself in this thread so we can determine whether you are not only worthy of a man making $150k but if you are capable of snagging one.

We'll be waiting.

I am a size 2, fit petite brunette who gets told she looks 25 and resembles Eva Longoria all the time. I love hiking, cats and lifting. I am great with children (neighborhood babysitter growing up) and have a Philosophy degree from Bryn Mawr. I do not earn a very good living and make 60k in fundraising. I do not think my requirements are outlandish. Everyone I know is married to guys with a similar profile.

If everyone you know is married to guy's with a similar profile and you're not that means you likely are the one that is lacking. I've seen this a couple of my wife's friends. Similar circle. All the husbands are of a similar status level but the couple perpetual single girlfriends will not be set up with anyone they see as "lesser" than their friends husbands. Here's the honest truth from a 30's guy that fits your profile, for the both of those friends of my wife I'd happily go out for drinks and would love to have had a go in bed with them in my single days but I can't imagine dating them seriously. Their personality precludes it.

Your post reminds me of them immensely. I'd never take the chance on a ltr with someone that categorizes me on requirements like that. Especially on 150k salary at a mid career point. I'd never trust she liked me for me, or that she wasn't ultimately after my trust funds. Would she even stick around if experienced hardship, as you know the wedding vows state you're supposed to? And the guys who are cool with a girl who significantly values their money/income; bad news. They're going for a much younger model vehicle than you. Doesn't matter how fit you are or how much you lift.

As a fellow philosophy major I think you've lost your focus. You're requirements look incredibly superficial on paper. If was single, I'd dig a hot philosophy major who I could bond with over common interests. You being in your 30's wouldn't be an issue. I met my wife when she turned 30 and I chose her over a multitude of younger women I was casually dating at the time. Stop focusing on a checklist and start looking for the Good again. Figure out the ethical qualities you want in a partner and go for that. And imagine the type of person your dream partner would want to date and start improving yourself towards that.

Lots of philosophy majors around here. I get your point and I think you make some good recs for OP, but I also don't think her "standards" are unreasonable. If she lives in the DC area, wanting a partner who makes $150k is certainly not "gold digging," as you'll be living a comfortable but not extravagant life. It's high enough that they will be able to afford a mortgage in the area. Less, and you're looking at high-rise condos (which are a bad investment) or perpetual renting instead of the modest, older houses that they'll be able to afford on $200k.

Anyone who wants to jump on me for being okay with the OP being able to afford a house with her prospective husbands, flame away. I don't think she is being unreasonable. I also don't think this salary number rules out 95% of men as some have said in this thread. Maybe that percentage is right for the whole country, but not in this area. I may be wrong about this.

If she had said 75-100k I would have given her lots more leeway on the gold digger angle. A household income of that range in combination with hers and decent monetary habits would easily put you in the category of being able to afford a 500k home. There are still a lot of great starter homes in the DMV for that price. 100k downpayment could be made easy in 3 years with good saving habits and that's assuming that neither partner already has savings. At that point with current rates your payment would only be 1900, much less than rent for a lot these new apartments.

One of my issues with her is that she's looking for a fairytale prince wanting someone who makes 150k a year and isn't a workaholic. That's like planning for retirement by playing the lottery. Sure there's a chance that you land that but its so rare it's the exception rather than the rule. People who make 150k, even in this city work. And work a lot and work hard. If she wants the lifestyle that comes with 150k salary thats fine but it's hurting her dating life by putting that on her imaginary future spouse instead of leveraging her own career to get her to that salary.


Also I don't like cats so that might have factored in also. My dogs just wouldn't take the addition of a feline sibling lightly.

I'm not sure I get this - she wants the guy to also have hobbies and interests and be nice. Not sure how that is controversial.

500k gets you squat near DC these days. Really. Terrible prospects. You need 600k to get into a modest shack in a decent school district. There's your extra 50k right there.

500k will still net you a nice house in Springfield or fairfax with decent school districts. Or buy a fixerupper in a trending neighborhood Trinidad if you're not worried about kids/school district which she wouldn't be now, as a single girl. The hobbies and being nice wasn't the issue I pointed out. The salary was. 150k a year men in the DMV in their 30s are rare and more likely looking for someone younger than her. If the 150k is most important to her she could easily find that by upping her age bracket to a guy in his 40s. I've seen that among friends a lot and then she would still be a hot commodity at 30. But guys earning that amount in their 30s aren't settling down with her type, I know I'm in that group as are many of my friends.

Disagree on the real estate. Fairfax with decent schools definitely out. Fairfax with shitty schools, you're still searching pretty hard and having trouble coming up with prospects. Springfield has a few more selections, but at your price point we are looking at mansions with 1,300 sq feet. My point is that $150k is hardly gold digging. That's a decent professional salary in the area. All these people shocked and appalled by her gall must be from the boondocks where $15/hour means you've hit the motherlode.

Fair enough on the age bracket. I'm not out on the dating scene so I'll defer to you.

Also by OP's logic she wouldn't date a Supreme Court clerk or a dermatologist during his residency. The issue isn't real estate it's that she wants everything in nevperson right nw.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. What is your definition of a good catch?
2. Why objectify men by characterizing them as objects to be caught or acquired?

Common sense?

A good catch:

- Well rounded guy who comes from a good family
- Has a respectable career earning a decent living = 150k+
- Kind and generous
- Has interest and hobbies
- A good member of society


The 30 + single guys I know are either:

- Workaholics who have deep personality or commitment issues
- Loser underachievers who have low self esteem and will not amount to much

So this comes off as pretty judgmental. A man making <150,000 is a loser underachiever? With respect to all those incredibly dedicated, hard-working, and successful teachers out there, I would say you might be looking for Mr. Unicorn.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, at 35, my DH was making $80k. At 50, he's making $500k. Then again when we met, he was making $3.35/hr. We thought $80k was amazing.

Good for you guys! What does he do?

[Anonymous]

I had a friend who married a doctor. He worked for the first three years of their marriage. He decided he hated practicing medicine, and couldn't work for someone else, so he's done a string of failed start ups and some consulting in between. She's supported them for the last 20 years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
A good catch:

- Has a respectable career earning a decent living = 150k+

I laffed. Not only did I laff, but I guffawed.

You think $150k+ a "decent" living. Your expectations are clearly out of whack.

Why don't you post a photo of yourself in this thread so we can determine whether you are not only worthy of a man making $150k but if you are capable of snagging one.

We'll be waiting.

I am a size 2, fit petite brunette who gets told she looks 25 and resembles Eva Longoria all the time. I love hiking, cats and lifting. I am great with children (neighborhood babysitter growing up) and have a Philosophy degree from Bryn Mawr. I do not earn a very good living and make 60k in fundraising. I do not think my requirements are outlandish. Everyone I know is married to guys with a similar profile.

If everyone you know is married to guy's with a similar profile and you're not that means you likely are the one that is lacking. I've seen this a couple of my wife's friends. Similar circle. All the husbands are of a similar status level but the couple perpetual single girlfriends will not be set up with anyone they see as "lesser" than their friends husbands. Here's the honest truth from a 30's guy that fits your profile, for the both of those friends of my wife I'd happily go out for drinks and would love to have had a go in bed with them in my single days but I can't imagine dating them seriously. Their personality precludes it.

Your post reminds me of them immensely. I'd never take the chance on a ltr with someone that categorizes me on requirements like that. Especially on 150k salary at a mid career point. I'd never trust she liked me for me, or that she wasn't ultimately after my trust funds. Would she even stick around if experienced hardship, as you know the wedding vows state you're supposed to? And the guys who are cool with a girl who significantly values their money/income; bad news. They're going for a much younger model vehicle than you. Doesn't matter how fit you are or how much you lift.

As a fellow philosophy major I think you've lost your focus. You're requirements look incredibly superficial on paper. If was single, I'd dig a hot philosophy major who I could bond with over common interests. You being in your 30's wouldn't be an issue. I met my wife when she turned 30 and I chose her over a multitude of younger women I was casually dating at the time. Stop focusing on a checklist and start looking for the Good again. Figure out the ethical qualities you want in a partner and go for that. And imagine the type of person your dream partner would want to date and start improving yourself towards that.

Lots of philosophy majors around here. I get your point and I think you make some good recs for OP, but I also don't think her "standards" are unreasonable. If she lives in the DC area, wanting a partner who makes $150k is certainly not "gold digging," as you'll be living a comfortable but not extravagant life. It's high enough that they will be able to afford a mortgage in the area. Less, and you're looking at high-rise condos (which are a bad investment) or perpetual renting instead of the modest, older houses that they'll be able to afford on $200k.

Anyone who wants to jump on me for being okay with the OP being able to afford a house with her prospective husbands, flame away. I don't think she is being unreasonable. I also don't think this salary number rules out 95% of men as some have said in this thread. Maybe that percentage is right for the whole country, but not in this area. I may be wrong about this.

If she had said 75-100k I would have given her lots more leeway on the gold digger angle. A household income of that range in combination with hers and decent monetary habits would easily put you in the category of being able to afford a 500k home. There are still a lot of great starter homes in the DMV for that price. 100k downpayment could be made easy in 3 years with good saving habits and that's assuming that neither partner already has savings. At that point with current rates your payment would only be 1900, much less than rent for a lot these new apartments.

One of my issues with her is that she's looking for a fairytale prince wanting someone who makes 150k a year and isn't a workaholic. That's like planning for retirement by playing the lottery. Sure there's a chance that you land that but its so rare it's the exception rather than the rule. People who make 150k, even in this city work. And work a lot and work hard. If she wants the lifestyle that comes with 150k salary thats fine but it's hurting her dating life by putting that on her imaginary future spouse instead of leveraging her own career to get her to that salary.


Also I don't like cats so that might have factored in also. My dogs just wouldn't take the addition of a feline sibling lightly.

I'm not sure I get this - she wants the guy to also have hobbies and interests and be nice. Not sure how that is controversial.

500k gets you squat near DC these days. Really. Terrible prospects. You need 600k to get into a modest shack in a decent school district. There's your extra 50k right there.

If that is what she wants, she should go out and earn it for herself. She said she is in fundraising which can pay very well. Seems to me that instead of taking some responsibility for herself, she'd rather put her career on the back burner and find a guy to provide the lifestyle for her.

[Anonymous]

So no teachers, no Feds, etc.

OP, you're making it much harder on yourself.