My friend came to my birthday party without a gift and yes, I am upset!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, let me guess, you were also the kind of bride that expected everyone to drop their entire lives because it was YOUR DAY!!!!

OP has a fiance, I can't imagine how that wedding planning is going. I feel sorry for your wedding party.

Is this friend a bridesmaid? If so I bet she is annoyed at how much she is already spending on you.

My friends used to do gifts for birthdays - usually a group gift. I always hated it (whether giving or receiving). It's just too much. Especially if you are engaged - your fiance is the only person who should be getting you a birthday gift.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is OP.

Fiance and I are both 28.

You are lucky that you have 3 friends who love you enough to show up to your birthday party. Don't take them for granted. Friendship is the real gift here, Op.

This.

You're also lucky that this is the level of problem you have in your life.

I have frequently set up my own birthday parties. I invite the guests. I pay. I. PAY. You invited them and expected them to pay for their own meal? That's tacky. And you're ticked off that one didn't bring you a present? That boggles the mind for any adult OP.

Get over yourself.

[Anonymous]

You sound like you are six years old

[Anonymous]

The good news is that if she keeps this up, OP probably won't have to worry about people not bringing gifts in the years to come. People will avoid her and warn mutual friends off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Had birthday party at a venue, invited 3 friends, paid everyone's entrance fee. Two brought gifts, the third is used to setups where everyone pays for the birthday person's food but brings no gift (we discussed that on a separate occasion). . However we ate at a place where you pay at the counter, so everyone paid for their own food. So the third guest ended up not giving any gift. I don't care about value of gift. But I feel like it was rude not giving anything at all. A card, flowers, a balloon, whatever.
I don't even have a question, I just need to vent. Thanks for listening.

You are too immature to go to "drop off" parties. Your mommy needs to stay close by your side.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Had birthday party at a venue, invited 3 friends, paid everyone's entrance fee. Two brought gifts, the third is used to setups where everyone pays for the birthday person's food but brings no gift (we discussed that on a separate occasion). . However we ate at a place where you pay at the counter, so everyone paid for their own food. So the third guest ended up not giving any gift. I don't care about value of gift. But I feel like it was rude not giving anything at all. A card, flowers, a balloon, whatever.
I don't even have a question, I just need to vent. Thanks for listening.

You are too immature to go to "drop off" parties. Your mommy needs to stay close by your side.

+1. I like you!

[Anonymous]

OP, one of my friends invited me out for a birthday dinner last year. Nobody picked up the tab for me and you know what? I'm an adult and it wasn't that big of a deal. The only adults I give birthday gifts to are close family, like siblings and parents.

[Anonymous]

I have a friend who always gives me a very tacky cheap gift for my bday. I on the other hand am very generous with my gifts and always get her something she wants (I usually ask her and she tells me). Her gifts to me are things she has lying around the house. But she is very loving in every other way. I let this go as she is a good friend to me in general. OP the friendship shouldn't be based on material things. Maybe you are like me and enjoy giving gifts and the other person doesn't. Take them for who they are and appreciate other aspects of them!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't even remember the last time I got a gift from someone who wasn't my husband or kid (and the kid's gift is usually a card and flower).

Adults who have birthday parties every year are weird, IMO. You should only celebrate the big ones... 21, 30, 40, etc.

You don't have to go if you are invited to a weird person's party!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, let me guess, you were also the kind of bride that expected everyone to drop their entire lives because it was YOUR DAY!!!!

OP has a fiance, I can't imagine how that wedding planning is going. I feel sorry for your wedding party.

I don't, it was someone else's reply.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Did she know in advance she would be paying for her own food?

We operate in very different realms, OP. I am just glad friends remember my birthday. Getting me a gift is above and beyond

Yes and I think was expecting to pitch in paying for mine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Had birthday party at a venue, invited 3 friends, paid everyone's entrance fee. Two brought gifts, the third is used to setups where everyone pays for the birthday person's food but brings no gift (we discussed that on a separate occasion). . However we ate at a place where you pay at the counter, so everyone paid for their own food. So the third guest ended up not giving any gift. I don't care about value of gift. But I feel like it was rude not giving anything at all. A card, flowers, a balloon, whatever.
I don't even have a question, I just need to vent. Thanks for listening.

OP I agree with you. It shows a lack of consideration and class. A nice gift card, a bottle of wine, and yes it was rude.

I had a friend like this I finally let go. She was up for everything free, eating at my house but the same didn't extend to me. Finally I realized there was no room in my life for users. It sounds like you see a pattern with her too.

A birthday you bring gifts whether it's a child or grownup. A graduation party, same thing and so fourth.
Every year I go to Vegas and meet a few friends for our birthdays which are in the same month. One lady who loves to gamble I got her a big card with a bunch of scratchers. One was worth $30.00 so she was happy, lol. It was fun and she appreciated the thoughtfulness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not 14 but 39 ! I don't need someone to reply in my name and lie about my age.

Going to a birthday party without a gift is just plain rude, that's it. I guess some people have been ill-bred and find it normal to go empty handed. This is not right at all !

OP, don't invite that person again to your birthday ... or come empty handed if she does invite you to hers, maybe she'll understand.

And it isn't rude to invite people to your birthday party and expect them to pay for their own food?

While I think you bring gifts to a "birthday party", I do think OP should have paid or had something at her home.

[Anonymous]

I am speechless. And that is rare for me. OP invited people to a party. Expected them to pay. And is upset because she didn't get a gift.

[Anonymous]

Thanks all. I wasn't looking for an opinion about whether I am right or wrong, weird or not weird
Now I see that a lot of people would not worry about the gift even if they didn't pay for the birthday person's food.
Last year she was invited, too. She brought flowers. I said I would pay for everyone's food, but guests insisted that they foot the whole bill. Fine, great, perfect.
This year I said I would pay for the tickets but not the food. Two guests still brought me gifts. She didn't. I care and I don't care what you guys think about me based on this info