My friend came to my birthday party without a gift and yes, I am upset!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am speechless. And that is rare for me. OP invited people to a party. Expected them to pay. And is upset because she didn't get a gift.

Yep. Leech! Hey, but she paid the entrance fee to a museum of her choosing! Maybe her mom gave her the money for tickets and the food but OP wanted to keep it to herself?

[Anonymous]

You're exhausting as a friend. We would not be friends. You are throwing a tantrum because your friend didn't get you a gift. Her intention was expressed to you early on. If you wanted her to pay your check then you could have been a total bitch and hand it to her with a smile and say "thanks" if a gift meant that much to you. Guaranteed that's the last time you would ever see her though.

You're a bride to be? Oh gawd. Your poor, poor, poor bridesmaids and every other vendor that you work with who will need a drink after an appointment with you.

[Anonymous]

Thanks OP for more insight. I guess just let it go though I would have brought your favorite wine or candy even. That's how I was taught.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks OP for more insight. I guess just let it go though I would have brought your favorite wine or candy even. That's how I was taught.

You would bring someone a bottle of wine that they now have to carry with them the whole night?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks all. I wasn't looking for an opinion about whether I am right or wrong, weird or not weird
Now I see that a lot of people would not worry about the gift even if they didn't pay for the birthday person's food.
Last year she was invited, too. She brought flowers. I said I would pay for everyone's food, but guests insisted that they foot the whole bill. Fine, great, perfect.
This year I said I would pay for the tickets but not the food. Two guests still brought me gifts. She didn't. I care and I don't care what you guys think about me based on this info

You certainly have a "right" to care. But you are setting yourself up for a lifetime of butt-hurtness if this is what you dwell on. You're going to lose friends. You just will.
P.S. I call BS that you would have been perfectly happy with a balloon. That's so effing stupid and you know it.

[Anonymous]

You're 28 - you can get away with such ridiculous attitudes and finding reasons to be hurt bc you're only 6 yrs out of college and lots of single friends are around. But keep in mind if you keep this up for the next decade - when people are already going to get busier and busier with careers, spouses, and kids - you will be one of those people posting here complaining of no friends. As you get older, the gift is TIME with your friends -- the TIME they set aside to come hang with you on your birthday. On top of that you can't be expecting gifts - whether of large or small monetary value bc they don't necessarily have time to pick them up; you can't even expect that if they don't get a gift they should pick up your bday tab bc life circumstances diverge and suddenly someone who was very spend-y in their early 20s realizes they need to buckle down to save up a downpayment and while they have a going out budget it gets smaller and may not include a line item that month for spending an extra $30 on you.

And BTW - we tell our kindergartner that the best part of a bday party is NOT the gifts but the friends who come to celebrate; it doesn't matter who brings a big gift, a little gift, or no gift at all -- bc them coming is what we're excited for. The 5 yr old gets it and is so excited when all his friends come that he doesn't even look at the growing gift pile . . . .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks OP for more insight. I guess just let it go though I would have brought your favorite wine or candy even. That's how I was taught.

You would bring someone a bottle of wine that they now have to carry with them the whole night?

I am OP and yes, I would be happy to carry it because guess what, is is a sign of caring for me!

I am not 28 and I don't have a fiancé, someone else answered that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks OP for more insight. I guess just let it go though I would have brought your favorite wine or candy even. That's how I was taught.

You would bring someone a bottle of wine that they now have to carry with them the whole night?

I am OP and yes, I would be happy to carry it because guess what, is is a sign of caring for me!

I am not 28 and I don't have a fiancé, someone else answered that.

So how old are you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would have been very upset as well, OP. I'm sorry for you.

How old are you?

14

Bye, Felicia

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks all. I wasn't looking for an opinion about whether I am right or wrong, weird or not weird
Now I see that a lot of people would not worry about the gift even if they didn't pay for the birthday person's food.
Last year she was invited, too. She brought flowers. I said I would pay for everyone's food, but guests insisted that they foot the whole bill. Fine, great, perfect.
This year I said I would pay for the tickets but not the food. Two guests still brought me gifts. She didn't. I care and I don't care what you guys think about me based on this info

You certainly have a "right" to care. But you are setting yourself up for a lifetime of butt-hurtness if this is what you dwell on. You're going to lose friends. You just will.
P.S. I call BS that you would have been perfectly happy with a balloon. That's so effing stupid and you know it.

If it were a funny balloon I would
A friend gave me a fridge magnet which said something meaningful to me. I was very happy. It showed she cared and though about me and this whole birthday thing was not a drag for her.
Of course I will not say anything to the friend with no gift. But I take it as my invitation was "just another thing on her list" and even though she claims she never inconveniences herself, I don't quite believe her. Next year, I will spare her "just another obligation".

[Anonymous]

OP again. For the sake of fairness, yes this friend did good things for me (as I did for her). Of course I won't cross her off my friends list. But no more birthdays

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks OP for more insight. I guess just let it go though I would have brought your favorite wine or candy even. That's how I was taught.

You would bring someone a bottle of wine that they now have to carry with them the whole night?

I am OP and yes, I would be happy to carry it because guess what, is is a sign of caring for me!

I am not 28 and I don't have a fiancé, someone else answered that.

As people keep pounding into your increasingly thick skull, the sign of caring for you WAS THAT SHE SHOWED UP. That's it. Full stop. If you don't give a shit about your friends, you won't have them for long. And you clearly care more about a balloon (WTF) or a bottle of wine than you do your friend taking the time to come celebrate with you. You are infuriating. You are just dead wrong here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP again. For the sake of fairness, yes this friend did good things for me (as I did for her). Of course I won't cross her off my friends list. But no more birthdays

And for that, we can all be grateful, especially your friends who had no idea they were playing a game of tit for tat with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks all. I wasn't looking for an opinion about whether I am right or wrong, weird or not weird
Now I see that a lot of people would not worry about the gift even if they didn't pay for the birthday person's food.
Last year she was invited, too. She brought flowers. I said I would pay for everyone's food, but guests insisted that they foot the whole bill. Fine, great, perfect.
This year I said I would pay for the tickets but not the food. Two guests still brought me gifts. She didn't. I care and I don't care what you guys think about me based on this info

You certainly have a "right" to care. But you are setting yourself up for a lifetime of butt-hurtness if this is what you dwell on. You're going to lose friends. You just will.
P.S. I call BS that you would have been perfectly happy with a balloon. That's so effing stupid and you know it.

If it were a funny balloon I would
A friend gave me a fridge magnet which said something meaningful to me. I was very happy. It showed she cared and though about me and this whole birthday thing was not a drag for her.
Of course I will not say anything to the friend with no gift. But I take it as my invitation was "just another thing on her list" and even though she claims she never inconveniences herself, I don't quite believe her. Next year, I will spare her "just another obligation".

Holy Moses are you exhausting. Man. Good luck to your spouse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks OP for more insight. I guess just let it go though I would have brought your favorite wine or candy even. That's how I was taught.

You would bring someone a bottle of wine that they now have to carry with them the whole night?

I am OP and yes, I would be happy to carry it because guess what, is is a sign of caring for me!

I am not 28 and I don't have a fiancé, someone else answered that.

You think people giving you things is a sign for caring for you? I feel sorry for you, OP. Another example of bad parenting.