My friend came to my birthday party without a gift and yes, I am upset!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wait - you invited her to your party, but she had to pay for her own food? Sounds like a shitty party.

Also paying an entrance fee and ordering food at a counter makes me question the venue. Did you go to Chuck E Cheese if that Buster place?

[Anonymous]

It never would have crossed my mind to buy a gift for an adult birthday party. We usually just go out and chip in for the birthday girl's meal. It's not her fault that you guys had to pay for your own meals at the counter. Granted, I would have offered to pay at the counter for you, but maybe it was impractical given the line or the counter set up or something.

[Anonymous]

If at your home, we would bring a hostess gift, but we never give birthday gifts for adults. In fact, most of our kid birthday parties specify no gifts, as they are tacky. Maybe you are from a lower class background though.

[Anonymous]

This sounds like a trumped up situation custom made for reality tv cameras.

[Anonymous]

You sound exhausting, OP. Throwing a bday party for yourself? Expecting your friends to bring you gifts? Frankly I'm shocked that you have 3 friends who actually showed up for your party.

[Anonymous]

I'm about your age and when my peers have a birthday party they host and pay for the venue/food, etc...

No gifts are expected and hey are not given a second thought. If someone hosts at their home it's nice to bring a host gift, but not necessary and scores are not kept as to who shows up empty handed.

You sound petty and gift-grabby. Most adults do not "do" birthday gifts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not 14 but 39 ! I don't need someone to reply in my name and lie about my age.

Going to a birthday party without a gift is just plain rude, that's it. I guess some people have been ill-bred and find it normal to go empty handed. This is not right at all !

OP, don't invite that person again to your birthday ... or come empty handed if she does invite you to hers, maybe she'll understand.

\

Actually expecting gifts is plain rude.

[Anonymous]

Are you insane? I have never exchanged birthday gifts with friends as an adult. Ever. It would never occur to me to bring a present to an adults birthday party. Even my 5yo understands that not everyone gets him presents for his birthday. If I were your friend I would drop you like a hot potatoe.

[Anonymous]

This is OP.

Fiance and I are both 28.

[Anonymous]

I think it was pretty rude of OP not to pay when she invited others for a birthday party.

If my friends invite me out for a birthday party, they usually pay for me. However, if I or my husband were hosting my own party, I think it would be polite had you paid for your guests. And no, I think it would be weird if adults bring me gifts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is OP.

Fiance and I are both 28.

You are lucky that you have 3 friends who love you enough to show up to your birthday party. Don't take them for granted. Friendship is the real gift here, Op.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not 14 but 39 ! I don't need someone to reply in my name and lie about my age.

Going to a birthday party without a gift is just plain rude, that's it. I guess some people have been ill-bred and find it normal to go empty handed. This is not right at all !

OP, don't invite that person again to your birthday ... or come empty handed if she does invite you to hers, maybe she'll understand.

Yeah, that'll show 'em. Get your score cards out OP! Let it rip! Great advice PP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She gave you the gift of her time and attention. She came to celebrate your birthday! That's more important than a gift.

And you said yourself that she was expecting to pay for your meal.

Let it go. You aren't being a good friend, OP.

But she didn't pay for my meal.
Last year she brought flowers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would not have thought about bringing a gift for a minute for an adult. I would have payed for your meal at the counter though...and probably would have tried to pay for my ticket too.

See?
I would have turned down the offer to pay for the ticket, but not the meal.
I am fine with paying for meal instead of bringing gift.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hmm not sure how old you are but I'm 26 and we have these types of "going out" parties a lot. I would have gone without a gift expecting to pay for the bday girls dinner, drinks, covers, etc (which can get very expensive in the city!)

It was very generous for you to pay her entrance fee but maybe she wasn't expecting it and paying for you was your gift? Or maybe she didn't bring it? The club or bar or whatever isn't exactly the best setting to open a gift...

sending a gift card via email is easy