My friend came to my birthday party without a gift and yes, I am upset!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She gave up her time to spend time together to celebrate your birthday. If you can't appreciate that, you should probably reevaluate what kind of friend YOU are! Not everyone is into gifts, especially for an adult's birthday. And it sounds like she was planning to buy your meal. I would give her a pass.

Which means she viewed my party as an obligation, right?
i don't know, I don't attend parties I don't want to attend (unless it is work).

With how busy people are, most would view such an outing as an obligation, honey. Doesn't mean they did not have fun or don't love you. Your birthday party (btw, time to grow up and move beyond the me, me, me part of birthdays) was yet one more thing on their weekly to-do list.

I am no less busy than others. I only go to parties I don't View as obligations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She gave you the gift of her time and attention. She came to celebrate your birthday! That's more important than a gift.

And you said yourself that she was expecting to pay for your meal.

Let it go. You aren't being a good friend, OP.

But she didn't pay for my meal.
Last year she brought flowers.

Do you even hear yourself right now?! You sound like a whiny kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait - you invited her to your party, but she had to pay for her own food? Sounds like a shitty party.

Also paying an entrance fee and ordering food at a counter makes me question the venue. Did you go to Chuck E Cheese if that Buster place?

It was a museum with a "modern" cafe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It never would have crossed my mind to buy a gift for an adult birthday party. We usually just go out and chip in for the birthday girl's meal. It's not her fault that you guys had to pay for your own meals at the counter. Granted, I would have offered to pay at the counter for you, but maybe it was impractical given the line or the counter set up or something.

So what would you do if didn't have a chance to chip in for the birthday meal?
I would send a gift card within 15 mins of leaving the party.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A card would have been nice, but no need to be upset about it.

+1 I had a friend not bring a gift to my wedding (and she brought a guest). I was a little surprised at the time, but she's shown she valued me in so many other ways--flying in to see me after I had my first baby, taking days off of work to show my family around when we came to visit her in another city and generally being there when I've had rough times and needed her. Don't fixate on a single gift...you'll be doing yourself a disservice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You sound exhausting, OP. Throwing a bday party for yourself? Expecting your friends to bring you gifts? Frankly I'm shocked that you have 3 friends who actually showed up for your party.

I only invited 3.

[Anonymous]

Thanks everyone. I guess I should rephrase my vent to a qyesrjon. What would you do if you didn't have a chance to pay for a meal for a birthday person.

[Anonymous]

Just be upset. And vow to give her the cold shoulder the next time you see her.

What an ungrateful biotch.

[Anonymous]

I don't even remember the last time I got a gift from someone who wasn't my husband or kid (and the kid's gift is usually a card and flower).

Adults who have birthday parties every year are weird, IMO. You should only celebrate the big ones... 21, 30, 40, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks everyone. I guess I should rephrase my vent to a qyesrjon. What would you do if you didn't have a chance to pay for a meal for a birthday person.

If you are friends why are you keeping score? My friends and I treat each other in different ways all throughout the year. Gifts aren't the most important thing in the world, the friendship should mean more than $$ spent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks everyone. I guess I should rephrase my vent to a qyesrjon. What would you do if you didn't have a chance to pay for a meal for a birthday person.

Do you actually like this person or did you just invite her for the gift?

To answer the question, I might treat her to lunch or coffee the next time we get together. But I would never imagine she was stewing about it and complaining on an online message board.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks everyone. I guess I should rephrase my vent to a qyesrjon. What would you do if you didn't have a chance to pay for a meal for a birthday person.

Forget about it and move on. Seriously, just because it was your birthday does't make you queen for the day or entitled to freebies. She didn't buy you a gift, move on and act your age.

[Anonymous]

LOL at adults who expect birthday presents!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Anonymous]

Did you turn 5? If so, you write very well for a kindergartener! I'm impressed!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks everyone. I guess I should rephrase my vent to a qyesrjon. What would you do if you didn't have a chance to pay for a meal for a birthday person.

Wouldn't give it a thought. Because I'm not 12.