My friend came to my birthday party without a gift and yes, I am upset!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks everyone. I guess I should rephrase my vent to a qyesrjon. What would you do if you didn't have a chance to pay for a meal for a birthday person.

Forget about it and move on. Seriously, just because it was your birthday does't make you queen for the day or entitled to freebies. She didn't buy you a gift, move on and act your age.

+1

If you really want to honor the person who should be celebrated that day, honor the birthday person's parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Had birthday party at a venue, invited 3 friends, paid everyone's entrance fee. Two brought gifts, the third is used to setups where everyone pays for the birthday person's food but brings no gift (we discussed that on a separate occasion). . However we ate at a place where you pay at the counter, so everyone paid for their own food. So the third guest ended up not giving any gift. I don't care about value of gift. But I feel like it was rude not giving anything at all. A card, flowers, a balloon, whatever.
I don't even have a question, I just need to vent. Thanks for listening.

OMG! You are an adult. She gave you her time and attention. She is not required to buy you a present. You are acting like a spoiled 5 year old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks everyone. I guess I should rephrase my vent to a qyesrjon. What would you do if you didn't have a chance to pay for a meal for a birthday person.

Do you want her to hand you $30 or something? Should she have left and bolted to CVS to buy you some Russel Stover chocolates in a heart shaped box?

You are way too hung up on this. But I think you should confront your friend. Mainly so that she knows what a petty brat you are and can end the friendship and move on with her life.

[Anonymous]

OP, let me guess, you were also the kind of bride that expected everyone to drop their entire lives because it was YOUR DAY!!!!

[Anonymous]

I am 47 and from 20s adult gifts for bdays (other than friends buying Bday person dinner) are not usual. Sometimes for a milestone Bday people will bring something--often a gag gift.

But --no--most say "no gifts" and even if they don't unless it's at a home and you bring booze/wine--nobody does this.

You are crazy to hold this grudge.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks everyone. I guess I should rephrase my vent to a qyesrjon. What would you do if you didn't have a chance to pay for a meal for a birthday person.

Do you want her to hand you $30 or something? Should she have left and bolted to CVS to buy you some Russel Stover chocolates in a heart shaped box?

You are way too hung up on this. But I think you should confront your friend. Mainly so that she knows what a petty brat you are and can end the friendship and move on with her life.

Agreed. Good advice, PP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, let me guess, you were also the kind of bride that expected everyone to drop their entire lives because it was YOUR DAY!!!!

OP has a fiance, I can't imagine how that wedding planning is going. I feel sorry for your wedding party.

[Anonymous]

Did you cry?

[Anonymous]

This is unreal!!!!!

[Anonymous]

how old are you, OP? Birthday gifts are for small children. Time to grow up.

[Anonymous]

Did she know in advance she would be paying for her own food?

We operate in very different realms, OP. I am just glad friends remember my birthday. Getting me a gift is above and beyond

[Anonymous]

So it was your birthday and other people brought you presents, I say people and not guests, bcs if they were guests, you would have paid, and you are mad that you didn't get a present from one friend who thought her present would be paying for your dinner? You are a terrible hostess and a terrible friend to all the people that came, especially the ones who got your the present and paid for their own dinner? Do you have any manners or social etiquette? BTW, when you INVITE somebody to dinner, you pay for dinner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks everyone. I guess I should rephrase my vent to a qyesrjon. What would you do if you didn't have a chance to pay for a meal for a birthday person.

You don't make people you invited pay for their own meal. Since this is your MO, she expected to pay for her own meal, and you expected a present too?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hmm not sure how old you are but I'm 26 and we have these types of "going out" parties a lot. I would have gone without a gift expecting to pay for the bday girls dinner, drinks, covers, etc (which can get very expensive in the city!)

It was very generous for you to pay her entrance fee but maybe she wasn't expecting it and paying for you was your gift? Or maybe she didn't bring it? The club or bar or whatever isn't exactly the best setting to open a gift...

How the heck was it generous, when she invited her friend? If people take you out for your birthday, such as plan it for you, then they pay for your meal, when you invited them, you should pay for everything. In this case present should be expected. OP sounds cheap as heck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not 14 but 39 ! I don't need someone to reply in my name and lie about my age.

Going to a birthday party without a gift is just plain rude, that's it. I guess some people have been ill-bred and find it normal to go empty handed. This is not right at all !

OP, don't invite that person again to your birthday ... or come empty handed if she does invite you to hers, maybe she'll understand.

And it isn't rude to invite people to your birthday party and expect them to pay for their own food?