s/o how much money do you need to make to provide for a SAHM?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Good reality check on this thread

Really easy to break 100k with a college degree around here
Vast vast vast majority of people are going to be making between 125 and 175k in middle management for most of their working lives

There really aren't that many jobs that make over 175k period. And if you do get one expect travel, long hours stress etc

This is so true. But two people with a $175k salary can have a nice life and good retirement.

[Anonymous]

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Medical specialist, 5th year big law associate, high finance, 2-3years post MBA at MBB consulting - those are the four paths I know tons of late 20/early 30 people making 250k+

Did you go to a top school or tailgate state?

The pool of people making 250k+ is still exceedingly small. It may seem a bit bigger because odds are you live almost within that rarefied circle and such jobs will concentrate you to key markets in key cities where much of the income is eaten up by very high COL.

DH pulls in 300k but he's in his early 40s and it took him 20 years to get to this level, through both hard work and some luck. He's in the corporate world and has a quite senior role.

By the way, I am an Ivy graduate and I've seen the average incomes of graduates of my fine Ivy and it's well below 250k. Some of the most successful people I know are tailgate U graduates and they were phenomenal at sales or started their own businesses.

if you work in tech, it seems everyone is making 250k after age 30 - starting salaries at Microsoft for PM's and Devs is 120-130 at age 21/22.

Mouth that would necessitate moving up to a director level? Most programmers don't have the chops to be that level of management unless they get an MBA.

At MICROSOFT. Good lord you all have ridiculously high aspirations. You are equating the *average* with working as a developer for top top top tech company. <5% of software development grads will be going to work for companies on caliber with Microsoft, Facebook, etc. Give me a break!

Did you go to Arizona State or something?

Most people I know are working at Google, Facebook Amazon etc. They all make 200k+

Hah, I am the LMC Ivy grad. Working as govt scientist. Yes I know many people who work at Microsoft and Google, but we don't discuss salaries. That's where an UMC background is handy, because your oldest friends from childhood and maybe family members, will talk more frankly about money -- but the folks I grew up largely work as nurses or sales for a rural hardware company.

you do realize the culture of not discussing salaries that is pervasive is one of the ways capital has controlled the masses that are labor.

by not discussing salaries you are giving employers the upper hand due to information asymmetry.

infact when firms it is against firm policy for employees to discuss salary with each other, they are breaking the law:

http://www.theatlantic.com/business/archive/2014/07/when-the-boss-says-dont-tell-your-coworkers-how-much-you-get-paid/374467/

[Anonymous]

You can make it work after 150k+, you just have to live in the burbs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can make it work after 150k+, you just have to live in the burbs.

If your baby could talk, I'm sure that he/she would prefer to live in the suburbs and have you vs. living in the city with good access to bars and restaurants. Unfortunately, babies opinions tend to be less important than parent's opinions. So the parents choose "cool" over "good parent." Sad.

[Anonymous]

We moved to the sunbelt. I was making 150k, when wife was SAHM, money was fine. Now I make 300k, and in the sunbelt, with kids in public school, and low taxes we live like millionaires in DC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We moved to the sunbelt. I was making 150k, when wife was SAHM, money was fine. Now I make 300k, and in the sunbelt, with kids in public school, and low taxes we live like millionaires in DC.

To add something - wife was making 60k when she went SAHM. At that amount of money, we would have been not much better than break even if she continued working.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We moved to the sunbelt. I was making 150k, when wife was SAHM, money was fine. Now I make 300k, and in the sunbelt, with kids in public school, and low taxes we live like millionaires in DC.

To add something - wife was making 60k when she went SAHM. At that amount of money, we would have been not much better than break even if she continued working.

This was our dream.

We wanted to move, but our families are here so we decided to stay put for now. My kids will see less of me when I return to work, but they will see more of their grandparents here than if we moved. It is a fair trade.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:By mistake, I read the other thread about all women aspiring to be housewives. Need to know what I'm working with here.

Why, what did you read in the other thread that concerned you?

Because I've never been driven by a desire to "provide" for someone. Am I in the minority?

Uh, no. I really hope you're not in the minority. My parents came to this country with three little girls under two so we could get educated, have careers, and NOT have to rely on a man to provide for them. Those posts are so sickening to me.

You fool. So when nannies/daycares raise kids, it is not sickening. But when mothers do it is..

Your parents did not do a good job of raising you. Maybe they should have both stayed home.

. . . says the college-educated person that made it a goal of marrying a rich man to provide for them.

I'm a new poster. To be clear, staying home with my kids is not about ME. it's about CHILDCARE. It's about providing my children with the absolute highest quality childcare available - a parent. it would be a cold day in hell before I leave one of my babies in some random daycare for 50 hours a week.

Sure, it's not about you.

I *love* posters like you PP, you clutch the pearls so tightly, you turn them to dust.

You care your preciousss babies, those working parents are just driving by 'random' daycares and dropping the kids at the curb.

babies...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We moved to the sunbelt. I was making 150k, when wife was SAHM, money was fine. Now I make 300k, and in the sunbelt, with kids in public school, and low taxes we live like millionaires in DC.

Tricky part is getting job in sunbelt. Are you an attorney or doctor?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can make it work after 150k+, you just have to live in the burbs.

If your baby could talk, I'm sure that he/she would prefer to live in the suburbs and have you vs. living in the city with good access to bars and restaurants. Unfortunately, babies opinions tend to be less important than parent's opinions. So the parents choose "cool" over "good parent." Sad.

What? If you work in the city, a shorter commute means more time at home with your kid, not bars and restaurants. This is ridiculous, I live as close as I can afford for more family time, not night life.

Also, my experience is that you can get by on about $60k for a family of 3, but that doesn't leave enough to save for retirement and college well. So more than that if it's a long term arrangement but pretty sure $500k is, uh, not the minimum required.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The thread has already been derailed by another wohm vs sahm debate.

OP, find a woman whose vision of post-kid life is compatible with your kids. And yes, that can include a dual working parent household.

Regardless of what recent threads suggest, not all women want to be sahms. There are many women who don't want to be sahms even if their husbands make enough for them to do do.

This. Don't assume your future wife will want to stay home. Maybe she will, maybe she won't. Maybe you will. That's something to discuss when you are dating -- along with religion, financial management, whether you even want kids and how many, where to live, etc. Best to discuss these things in detail before you commit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We moved to the sunbelt. I was making 150k, when wife was SAHM, money was fine. Now I make 300k, and in the sunbelt, with kids in public school, and low taxes we live like millionaires in DC.

Tricky part is getting job in sunbelt. Are you an attorney or doctor?

Dermatology P.A. There are tons of jobs in the sunbelt. Seems like everyone in Texas and Florida are hiring.

[Anonymous]

We live in upper NW dc. DH makes 250k and it's plenty for me to stay home (granted, my budget for personal items not including groceries, etc. is $800/month so I'm not out buying expensive things every day). It works well for us and helps that we locked in a really low mortgage after we saved 25% to put down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We moved to the sunbelt. I was making 150k, when wife was SAHM, money was fine. Now I make 300k, and in the sunbelt, with kids in public school, and low taxes we live like millionaires in DC.

Tricky part is getting job in sunbelt. Are you an attorney or doctor?

Dermatology P.A. There are tons of jobs in the sunbelt. Seems like everyone in Texas and Florida are hiring.

We gotta move!

[Anonymous]

Some of the posters arguing that "everyone" they know is at Microsoft or in financial consulting at a blue chip firm making 250k+ are probably juvenile posters.

The software programming jobs at Google and Microsoft that pay multiple six figures are, what, 1% of 1% of all the software jobs out there. Ditto for financial jobs.

There was a thread on here a few weeks back where someone posted links to another forum for software programmers where salaries were discussed along with the ruthless nature of the industry. Young graduates are brought in at high salaries (low six figures) but become pigeon-holed into their speciality and after a decade are pushed out of the industry and ageism makes it very difficult to find a comparably high paying job because the employers are only interested in the next generation of programmers who only know the latest code and software. So a lot of programmers who make quite a bit in their 20s suddenly are forced to take massive pay cuts in their 30s and 40s.

Another good example is Biglaw. Fifth year associates can make 250k. And then what happens? Most are pushed out because they're not partner track.

The ruthless nature of these professions, whether programming or law or banking, is that talented people are given the chance to make a lot of money through long hours and hard work in their 20s but unless they are the very top 1-5% of their cohort, they are steadily pushed out for the next wave of recruits. Many will manage to move sideways or take a slight step down to go inhouse somewhere and effectively remain at that level for the rest of their working career. Others end up taking a big step down. The professional world is a pyramid and it's a ruthless slippery slope.