SIL/BIL fit about wedding

[Anonymous]

Having spent 14 months trying for current pregnancy, I know that you can't plan your life around pregnancies and the idea of delaying a month as if you can magically time things is silly. When my sister in law announced her engagement I told her "DH and I have been trying for awhile. So, depending what happens and when you're wedding is might affect whether we can attend." She decided to get married 10 months later and I was 7 months pregnant with my first and we could go. A few weeks later, however, I was having contractions and we had to skip a cousin's wedding that was just two hours from DC. I told my DH to go, figuring things would take awhile even if it was the real deal, but he didn't go and cousin was gracious about it. It was a false alarm, but my first showed up a few days later (just after 8 months) and arrived in about four hours! Pregnancies and babies are unpredictable. Oh, I'd forgotten my sister told me not to take too long planning our wedding because they wanted to start trying but would wait until after the wedding so she could drink. Their first was born 17 months after my wedding, so if she started trying right away that took awhile too. Anyhow, expecting people to plan their lives around your milestones is silly!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where did OP say it took a year of TTC?

That's a moot point. It doesn't matter if op had been trying for ten years or one month. You can't plan a pregnancy around a wedding. Plenty of people get pregnant by accident and there are also tons of weddings to attend in your 20s/30s. If you avoided getting pregnant so you wouldn't miss a wedding then you'd probably never be able to have children.

I did plan my pregnancy around BILs wedding. I would only do that for close family.

You can't plan that shit. Because you can't guarantee conception.

I did plan that shit.
I can't guarantee when I will get pregnant, but I can guarantee when I won't.

Well, you're nuts. Congrats.

Because you seem to think a wedding is a reason to not have a child. Not PP but I agree you're nuts.

Why would that make me nuts?

I never said I wouldn't have a child. Learn to read. I said delay by two months.
I don't think two months will make someone unable to have a child forever.
If everyone is so against delaying, why wait until you are so old to have kids.

Getting pregnant isn't that easy. You don't just make an appointment. It happens when it happens, and babies are born when they are ready to be born.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So there are people on this board who honestly think that couples should delay having a child so that they can attend a wedding? For real? Especially if they've already been trying for a year?

There were people who could not make it to my wedding, for a variety of reasons. I was sad they weren't there, but it never occured to me that anyone should put their lives on hold to attend. It was a special day for me, and I was grateful to have so many friends and family there to celebrate with us, but it wasn't such an important day that everyone needed to arrange their whole year around it. Sheesh.

This.

I cannot believe people would delay having a baby to attend a wedding. That is crazy! Especially since most people have a small window of time to have kids - for most of my friends it's between 30 and 35. If you want 2 or more kids the timing is especially tight before you're considered high risk. If my brother asked me to delay having a baby because of his wedding I would question his sanity.

Delay by two or so months. Just enough so you can attend the wedding of a FAMILY member.

I did this. And then my baby came early. Guess I should have hightailed it out do the NICU and left my tiny baby because Family!

[Anonymous]

Was DH going to be the best man? Was he unable to give a speech he had prepared because he was home that would have made the wedding more special? I'd still think BIL and SILK were being jerks but I suppose I'd have a bit more understanding of the bond between the brothers was really strong and special. Too bad they couldn't get a Facetime video link up or something. Anyway, sorry you are going through this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Delaying pregnancy by a couple of months wouldn't have done anything, Lucy would probably have been pissed there was a pregnant woman at her wedding stealing attention. And what if the baby had been born three months early and spent weeks in the hospital? What if it was early in the pregnancy, she had a miscarriage, and her husband needed to stay home with her? What is early on she was put on bed rest? So many things can go wrong and delaying isn't a guarantee they'd be able to make it to the wedding.

OP, take care of your hubby and beautiful baby and forget about your loser in laws. If they are that histrionic they will end up divorced, then it won't even matter that you missed their wedding.

There also could be another sibling who might marry another x months later. If you have a sibling or two on each side it's near impossible to plan pregnancy around weddings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where did OP say it took a year of TTC?

That's a moot point. It doesn't matter if op had been trying for ten years or one month. You can't plan a pregnancy around a wedding. Plenty of people get pregnant by accident and there are also tons of weddings to attend in your 20s/30s. If you avoided getting pregnant so you wouldn't miss a wedding then you'd probably never be able to have children.

I did plan my pregnancy around BILs wedding. I would only do that for close family.

You can't plan that shit. Because you can't guarantee conception.

I did plan that shit.
I can't guarantee when I will get pregnant, but I can guarantee when I won't.

Well, you're nuts. Congrats.

It was was for me
Because you seem to think a wedding is a reason to not have a child. Not PP but I agree you're nuts.

Why would that make me nuts?

I never said I wouldn't have a child. Learn to read. I said delay by two months.
I don't think two months will make someone unable to have a child forever.
If everyone is so against delaying, why wait until you are so old to have kids.

Getting pregnant isn't that easy. You don't just make an appointment. It happens when it happens, and babies are born when they are ready to be born.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Delaying pregnancy by a couple of months wouldn't have done anything, Lucy would probably have been pissed there was a pregnant woman at her wedding stealing attention. And what if the baby had been born three months early and spent weeks in the hospital? What if it was early in the pregnancy, she had a miscarriage, and her husband needed to stay home with her? What is early on she was put on bed rest? So many things can go wrong and delaying isn't a guarantee they'd be able to make it to the wedding.

OP, take care of your hubby and beautiful baby and forget about your loser in laws. If they are that histrionic they will end up divorced, then it won't even matter that you missed their wedding.

There also could be another sibling who might marry another x months later. If you have a sibling or two on each side it's near impossible to plan pregnancy around weddings.

There is also no obligation to do so. What a ridiculous thing to even suppose. Normal people understand that life happens and do not feel upset or upstaged because their perfect day is interrupted by someone else's life events (good or bad). If the SIL is so inflexible that her wedding is ruined by not having an even number of attendants, she should have planned for that contingency by either skipping the OP's husband as an attendant, or having a backup ready.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where did OP say it took a year of TTC?

That's a moot point. It doesn't matter if op had been trying for ten years or one month. You can't plan a pregnancy around a wedding. Plenty of people get pregnant by accident and there are also tons of weddings to attend in your 20s/30s. If you avoided getting pregnant so you wouldn't miss a wedding then you'd probably never be able to have children.

I did plan my pregnancy around BILs wedding. I would only do that for close family.

You can't plan that shit. Because you can't guarantee conception.

I did plan that shit.
I can't guarantee when I will get pregnant, but I can guarantee when I won't.

Well, you're nuts. Congrats.

It was was for me
Because you seem to think a wedding is a reason to not have a child. Not PP but I agree you're nuts.

Why would that make me nuts?

I never said I wouldn't have a child. Learn to read. I said delay by two months.
I don't think two months will make someone unable to have a child forever.
If everyone is so against delaying, why wait until you are so old to have kids.

Getting pregnant isn't that easy. You don't just make an appointment. It happens when it happens, and babies are born when they are ready to be born.

Maybe because they were so anal that they had to plan the perfect wedding and dictate the lives of their guests. That takes a lot of time, you know.

I hope you are not as idiotic and offensive in real life as you are here. Plenty of people have problems conceiving even at relatively young ages, like early 30s. And it's absurd to expect them to put off their plans for someone's wedding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Delaying pregnancy by a couple of months wouldn't have done anything, Lucy would probably have been pissed there was a pregnant woman at her wedding stealing attention. And what if the baby had been born three months early and spent weeks in the hospital? What if it was early in the pregnancy, she had a miscarriage, and her husband needed to stay home with her? What is early on she was put on bed rest? So many things can go wrong and delaying isn't a guarantee they'd be able to make it to the wedding.

OP, take care of your hubby and beautiful baby and forget about your loser in laws. If they are that histrionic they will end up divorced, then it won't even matter that you missed their wedding.

Your scenarios are unlikely. Much likelier that she could have attended the wedding if she delayed the pregnancy by a few months.

You know what? I've had 2 easy pregnancies and was able to get pregnant the first time off BC both times.........these situations are NOT unlikely. I know countless women who have miscarried, etc. I have to agree, this sounds like the kind of person who would be annoyed at a 7 month pregnant person at the wedding too.

If "numbers would be off", tell bride its not 1983 anymore and weddings have changed.

[Anonymous]

Oh my God, where do these people come from?? My horrible ex-MIL had a temper tantrum when I went into labor on Thanksgiving (and were obviously not able to make the family dinner that year). She called my ex at least 10 times that day. To check on me or the baby? Nope. To cry and beg him to leave me and "just come for an hour or two! Everyone was expecting to see you!"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh my God, where do these people come from?? My horrible ex-MIL had a temper tantrum when I went into labor on Thanksgiving (and were obviously not able to make the family dinner that year). She called my ex at least 10 times that day. To check on me or the baby? Nope. To cry and beg him to leave me and "just come for an hour or two! Everyone was expecting to see you!"

People are so selfish

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Delaying pregnancy by a couple of months wouldn't have done anything, Lucy would probably have been pissed there was a pregnant woman at her wedding stealing attention. And what if the baby had been born three months early and spent weeks in the hospital? What if it was early in the pregnancy, she had a miscarriage, and her husband needed to stay home with her? What is early on she was put on bed rest? So many things can go wrong and delaying isn't a guarantee they'd be able to make it to the wedding.

OP, take care of your hubby and beautiful baby and forget about your loser in laws. If they are that histrionic they will end up divorced, then it won't even matter that you missed their wedding.

There also could be another sibling who might marry another x months later. If you have a sibling or two on each side it's near impossible to plan pregnancy around weddings.

But OP didn't say there was another sibling getting married. So it doesn't apply.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Delaying pregnancy by a couple of months wouldn't have done anything, Lucy would probably have been pissed there was a pregnant woman at her wedding stealing attention. And what if the baby had been born three months early and spent weeks in the hospital? What if it was early in the pregnancy, she had a miscarriage, and her husband needed to stay home with her? What is early on she was put on bed rest? So many things can go wrong and delaying isn't a guarantee they'd be able to make it to the wedding.

OP, take care of your hubby and beautiful baby and forget about your loser in laws. If they are that histrionic they will end up divorced, then it won't even matter that you missed their wedding.

Your scenarios are unlikely. Much likelier that she could have attended the wedding if she delayed the pregnancy by a few months.

Unlikely? 20% of pregnancies end in miscarriage. I cancelled trips to see family after a miscarriage because it was so devastating. The likelihood of all of the above go up with age. And again, it's completely outrageous to expect someone to delay having a baby because of a wedding. It's her body and her right to decide what is best for her family- the nuclear family of her and her husband.

I really can't believe some of the responses here. If Lucy had come on here and posted "my BIL and SIL had the audacity to go into labor a month early on my wedding day. I am still pissed a year later and they should have delayed getting pregnant" people would rip her apart for being a selfish bridezilla.

What is the likelihood that OP would have a miscarriage on the exact day of the wedding or close enough to the wedding that she couldn't attend. You can still leave the house during and after a miscarriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Delaying pregnancy by a couple of months wouldn't have done anything, Lucy would probably have been pissed there was a pregnant woman at her wedding stealing attention. And what if the baby had been born three months early and spent weeks in the hospital? What if it was early in the pregnancy, she had a miscarriage, and her husband needed to stay home with her? What is early on she was put on bed rest? So many things can go wrong and delaying isn't a guarantee they'd be able to make it to the wedding.

OP, take care of your hubby and beautiful baby and forget about your loser in laws. If they are that histrionic they will end up divorced, then it won't even matter that you missed their wedding.

Your scenarios are unlikely. Much likelier that she could have attended the wedding if she delayed the pregnancy by a few months.

Unlikely? 20% of pregnancies end in miscarriage. I cancelled trips to see family after a miscarriage because it was so devastating. The likelihood of all of the above go up with age. And again, it's completely outrageous to expect someone to delay having a baby because of a wedding. It's her body and her right to decide what is best for her family- the nuclear family of her and her husband.

I really can't believe some of the responses here. If Lucy had come on here and posted "my BIL and SIL had the audacity to go into labor a month early on my wedding day. I am still pissed a year later and they should have delayed getting pregnant" people would rip her apart for being a selfish bridezilla.

What is the likelihood that OP would have a miscarriage on the exact day of the wedding or close enough to the wedding that she couldn't attend. You can still leave the house during and after a miscarriage.

Leave the house during a miscarriage? Have you ever actually been through one? No, you don't leave the house when your baby has died AND IS COMING OUT OF YOUR BODY IN PIECES. And you probably won't go to any social events afterwards because all you want to do is break down and scream and cry. Makes them awkward.

You're a huge dumbass, but I hope you never have to go through the pain of a miscarriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Delaying pregnancy by a couple of months wouldn't have done anything, Lucy would probably have been pissed there was a pregnant woman at her wedding stealing attention. And what if the baby had been born three months early and spent weeks in the hospital? What if it was early in the pregnancy, she had a miscarriage, and her husband needed to stay home with her? What is early on she was put on bed rest? So many things can go wrong and delaying isn't a guarantee they'd be able to make it to the wedding.

OP, take care of your hubby and beautiful baby and forget about your loser in laws. If they are that histrionic they will end up divorced, then it won't even matter that you missed their wedding.

Your scenarios are unlikely. Much likelier that she could have attended the wedding if she delayed the pregnancy by a few months.

Unlikely? 20% of pregnancies end in miscarriage. I cancelled trips to see family after a miscarriage because it was so devastating. The likelihood of all of the above go up with age. And again, it's completely outrageous to expect someone to delay having a baby because of a wedding. It's her body and her right to decide what is best for her family- the nuclear family of her and her husband.

I really can't believe some of the responses here. If Lucy had come on here and posted "my BIL and SIL had the audacity to go into labor a month early on my wedding day. I am still pissed a year later and they should have delayed getting pregnant" people would rip her apart for being a selfish bridezilla.

What is the likelihood that OP would have a miscarriage on the exact day of the wedding or close enough to the wedding that she couldn't attend. You can still leave the house during and after a miscarriage.

Leave the house during a miscarriage? Have you ever actually been through one? No, you don't leave the house when your baby has died AND IS COMING OUT OF YOUR BODY IN PIECES. And you probably won't go to any social events afterwards because all you want to do is break down and scream and cry. Makes them awkward.

You're a huge dumbass, but I hope you never have to go through the pain of a miscarriage.

I've never had a miscarriage and I know dumbass PP is full of it. If someone had missed my wedding for a loss like that, all I would do is offer my deepest sympathy and bring them comfort food.