SIL/BIL fit about wedding

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where did OP say it took a year of TTC?

That's a moot point. It doesn't matter if op had been trying for ten years or one month. You can't plan a pregnancy around a wedding. Plenty of people get pregnant by accident and there are also tons of weddings to attend in your 20s/30s. If you avoided getting pregnant so you wouldn't miss a wedding then you'd probably never be able to have children.

I did plan my pregnancy around BILs wedding. I would only do that for close family.

You can't plan that shit. Because you can't guarantee conception.

I did plan that shit.
I can't guarantee when I will get pregnant, but I can guarantee when I won't.

OMG, someone else who understands common sense and consideration for others. I think I'm in love with you

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Wow. Hopefully they'll understand when SIL has her first child. Or maybe not.

How presumptuous of you to assume she's going to ruin her life and squat out a kid.

[Anonymous]

Well OP, at least you didn't have the baby AT the wedding, imagine if your baby had just held off and your water broke, etc during the reception. Lucy really would have been pissed then.

Sounds like Lucy is just a pill no matter what, so I would give ZERO Fs what she thinks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where did OP say it took a year of TTC?

That's a moot point. It doesn't matter if op had been trying for ten years or one month. You can't plan a pregnancy around a wedding. Plenty of people get pregnant by accident and there are also tons of weddings to attend in your 20s/30s. If you avoided getting pregnant so you wouldn't miss a wedding then you'd probably never be able to have children.

I did plan my pregnancy around BILs wedding. I would only do that for close family.

You can't plan that shit. Because you can't guarantee conception.

I did plan that shit.
I can't guarantee when I will get pregnant, but I can guarantee when I won't.

Well, you're nuts. Congrats.

Why would that make me nuts?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where did OP say it took a year of TTC?

That's a moot point. It doesn't matter if op had been trying for ten years or one month. You can't plan a pregnancy around a wedding. Plenty of people get pregnant by accident and there are also tons of weddings to attend in your 20s/30s. If you avoided getting pregnant so you wouldn't miss a wedding then you'd probably never be able to have children.

I did plan my pregnancy around BILs wedding. I would only do that for close family.

You can't plan that shit. Because you can't guarantee conception.

I did plan that shit.
I can't guarantee when I will get pregnant, but I can guarantee when I won't.

Well, you're nuts. Congrats.

Because you seem to think a wedding is a reason to not have a child. Not PP but I agree you're nuts.

Why would that make me nuts?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where did OP say it took a year of TTC?

That's a moot point. It doesn't matter if op had been trying for ten years or one month. You can't plan a pregnancy around a wedding. Plenty of people get pregnant by accident and there are also tons of weddings to attend in your 20s/30s. If you avoided getting pregnant so you wouldn't miss a wedding then you'd probably never be able to have children.

I did plan my pregnancy around BILs wedding. I would only do that for close family.

You can't plan that shit. Because you can't guarantee conception.

I did plan that shit.
I can't guarantee when I will get pregnant, but I can guarantee when I won't.

Well, you're nuts. Congrats.

Because you seem to think a wedding is a reason to not have a child. Not PP but I agree you're nuts.

Why would that make me nuts?

I never said I wouldn't have a child. Learn to read. I said delay by two months.
I don't think two months will make someone unable to have a child forever.
If everyone is so against delaying, why wait until you are so old to have kids.

[Anonymous]

If you do not have trouble conceiving, then waiting might be no big deal.

If you have trouble conceiving, then every cycle is a crapshoot, and your odds of overall success keep going down. That's true regardless of age, but it's more acute later in life. Waiting for you is a big deal. It's a bigger deal than missing someone else's wedding.

Look, OP was already trying unsuccessfully for over a year, AND the due date wasn't until 3 weeks after the wedding. She said she went into labor early, and that's unusual for a first child. She and her partner had good reason not to take the wedding into account (see TTC for a year), but even so, they had good reason to believe that she wouldn't go into labor for about another month anyway.

Anonymous wrote:
If everyone is so against delaying, why wait until you are so old to have kids.

Holy Schnarks. You really can't think of any good reasons why someone might wait to have kids somewhat later in life? I can come up with five off the top of my head.

1. You don't meet someone you want to have kids with until then.

2. You are overwhelmed with other life stresses until then, and that would've been a bad decision to mix them: ill or aging parents to care for, intensive educational period, etc.

3. You're dealing with physical health issues.

4. You're dealing with mental health issues.

5. You are not financially stable, but you are working hard to change that.

Bonus points:
6. You've been trying to conceive, and it isn't taking. Couple this with #5, given the cost of assistive reproductive technology, and you've made the hat-trick.

[Anonymous]

What.The.Fuck?

There is no way OP was in any way unreasonable here? Are people seriously stating that she should have delayed child bearing b/c of a wedding? Or that any family member has any right to be pissed b/c she went into labor early? Neither of these things is reasonable. PERIOD.

Frankly, I would not sweat them in the least. At the first opportunity I had, I'd tell them that you were bummed not to make the wedding but the continued nasty treatment better stop and point out how unbelievably self-centered she's being (it sounds like it's mostly SIL). Life happens. And you all need to make the best of it. Your kids are going to be cousins. You're going to see each other at family events. So, you need to find a way to move past it or the rest of your lives are going to be pretty unpleasant. Leave it to her how she wants that to go. You've "apologized" in a way and left her behavior up to her. Then you go on as if nothing happened.

When she has kids, she will see what a ridiculous cow she is being.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What.The.Fuck?

There is no way OP was in any way unreasonable here? Are people seriously stating that she should have delayed child bearing b/c of a wedding? Or that any family member has any right to be pissed b/c she went into labor early? Neither of these things is reasonable. PERIOD.

Frankly, I would not sweat them in the least. At the first opportunity I had, I'd tell them that you were bummed not to make the wedding but the continued nasty treatment better stop and point out how unbelievably self-centered she's being (it sounds like it's mostly SIL). Life happens. And you all need to make the best of it. Your kids are going to be cousins. You're going to see each other at family events. So, you need to find a way to move past it or the rest of your lives are going to be pretty unpleasant. Leave it to her how she wants that to go. You've "apologized" in a way and left her behavior up to her. Then you go on as if nothing happened.

When she has kids, she will see what a ridiculous cow she is being.

Or she won't and will be a horrible self centered mother who raises horible self centered kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you do not have trouble conceiving, then waiting might be no big deal.

If you have trouble conceiving, then every cycle is a crapshoot, and your odds of overall success keep going down. That's true regardless of age, but it's more acute later in life. Waiting for you is a big deal. It's a bigger deal than missing someone else's wedding.

Look, OP was already trying unsuccessfully for over a year, AND the due date wasn't until 3 weeks after the wedding. She said she went into labor early, and that's unusual for a first child. She and her partner had good reason not to take the wedding into account (see TTC for a year), but even so, they had good reason to believe that she wouldn't go into labor for about another month anyway.

Anonymous wrote:
If everyone is so against delaying, why wait until you are so old to have kids.

Holy Schnarks. You really can't think of any good reasons why someone might wait to have kids somewhat later in life? I can come up with five off the top of my head.

1. You don't meet someone you want to have kids with until then.

2. You are overwhelmed with other life stresses until then, and that would've been a bad decision to mix them: ill or aging parents to care for, intensive educational period, etc.

3. You're dealing with physical health issues.

4. You're dealing with mental health issues.

5. You are not financially stable, but you are working hard to change that.

Bonus points:
6. You've been trying to conceive, and it isn't taking. Couple this with #5, given the cost of assistive reproductive technology, and you've made the hat-trick.

Want to bet OP wouldn't have gone to a wedding three hours away three weeks from her due date?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Wow. Hopefully they'll understand when SIL has her first child. Or maybe not.

How presumptuous of you to assume she's going to ruin her life and squat out a kid.

Go away. Child free losers not welcome here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where did OP say it took a year of TTC?

That's a moot point. It doesn't matter if op had been trying for ten years or one month. You can't plan a pregnancy around a wedding. Plenty of people get pregnant by accident and there are also tons of weddings to attend in your 20s/30s. If you avoided getting pregnant so you wouldn't miss a wedding then you'd probably never be able to have children.

I did plan my pregnancy around BILs wedding. I would only do that for close family.

You can't plan that shit. Because you can't guarantee conception.

I did plan that shit.
I can't guarantee when I will get pregnant, but I can guarantee when I won't.

Well, you're nuts. Congrats.

Because you seem to think a wedding is a reason to not have a child. Not PP but I agree you're nuts.

Why would that make me nuts?

I never said I wouldn't have a child. Learn to read. I said delay by two months.
I don't think two months will make someone unable to have a child forever.
If everyone is so against delaying, why wait until you are so old to have kids.

Obviously you haven't struggled with infertility. Also, not everyone who deals with infertility is old. Also, not everyone has their lips permanently affixed to their in-laws asses.

[Anonymous]

So what?

The OP has said from the beginning that the in-laws' anger was at her husband for not showing up, not her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where did OP say it took a year of TTC?

That's a moot point. It doesn't matter if op had been trying for ten years or one month. You can't plan a pregnancy around a wedding. Plenty of people get pregnant by accident and there are also tons of weddings to attend in your 20s/30s. If you avoided getting pregnant so you wouldn't miss a wedding then you'd probably never be able to have children.

I did plan my pregnancy around BILs wedding. I would only do that for close family.

You can't plan that shit. Because you can't guarantee conception.

I did plan that shit.
I can't guarantee when I will get pregnant, but I can guarantee when I won't.

OMG, someone else who understands common sense and consideration for others. I think I'm in love with you

I think you mean someone else who LACKS common sense and has no brain of their own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Want to bet OP wouldn't have gone to a wedding three hours away three weeks from her due date?

The "so what?" was in response to this.