SIL/BIL fit about wedding

[Anonymous]

OP again. When we announced our pregnancy, SIL was away on business- lets call her "Lucy". Since our due date was 3 weeks from their wedding, the first thing BIL said was "don't tell Lucy"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is SIL your dh's sister? Were there other signs of family weirdness before this happened? Just curious

Op here. BIL is the one related to my husband. SIL took this weirdly personal though. She came to my baby shower, stayed for a little while, snacked on some nuts in her purse, and left. My theory is now that she didn't like the spotlight off her. Which I think is silly considering she had a bridal shower.

Maybe they like SIL and BIL better. Forget it. I wouldn't pay them any attention. I am assuming you got pregnant before they picked the date. Why would they plan a wedding so close to your delivery date if it was that important he go?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is SIL your dh's sister? Were there other signs of family weirdness before this happened? Just curious

Op here. BIL is the one related to my husband. SIL took this weirdly personal though. She came to my baby shower, stayed for a little while, snacked on some nuts in her purse, and left. My theory is now that she didn't like the spotlight off her. Which I think is silly considering she had a bridal shower.

Maybe they like SIL and BIL better. Forget it. I wouldn't pay them any attention. I am assuming you got pregnant before they picked the date. Why would they plan a wedding so close to your delivery date if it was that important he go?[/quote

They planned it a year before. We tried for about a year to get pregnant and sharing the news fell flat because of this wedding. It's been crappy on that side of the family.

[Anonymous]

They are weird and they suck. No point dwelling on it, it is what it is.

My MIL -- a very sweet woman -- does this. She dwells on things and analyzes them from every angle and they wind up hurting her more than if she'd just accept them. They are not worth your angst. They may change after they have kids, in which case you can decide if you want to be the bigger person and let bygones be bygones. But more likely they will stay assholes and everything to do with their kids will be more important than anything else and any failure to recognize that on your part will be taken as a slight. Might as well get used to it now.

[Anonymous]

OP - not excusing the fact that SIL didn't say anything at your baby's birthday (Really? Didn't say anything at all?), but I hope you did say Happy First Anniversary to your SIL and BIL at the party. Maybe that would have helped smooth things over.

[Anonymous]

Having a new nephew is a pretty good wedding present!

[Anonymous]

OP, you can join our family. My SIL and brother are still mad that my dying father didn't attend their destination wedding even though the airline enforced whatever you call the policy that allows them to refuse really sick people to board a plane (he didn't actually try to board plane but calls to customer service had to be placed by us to "prove" to SIL that travel wasn't possible for such a sick man).

Unlike previous poster, my brother has always had the spotlight on him so not having his special day was a first. But PP, don't think I don't have empathy for you. I totally get it as a fellow sibling-in-the-shadows.

[Anonymous]

This is crazy! People are so effing crazy sometimes I just can't take it!

I'm really sorry, OP.

[Anonymous]

Unfortunately, it's impossible to reason with that level of crazy, and narcissism. You can't and won't get through.
All you can do is live your life according to your values and distance yourself from these people. You can't care what they think or react badly to because they are completely bats**t crazy, based on the behavior you describe.

[Anonymous]

I would honestly proceed as if nothing has happened. Basically put ALL the pressure on your SIL to admit that she's still upset, A YEAR LATER, that you couldn't cross your legs and hold that baby in.

Act normally, don't bring it up, communicate normally. Make her do all the freezing out. Invite them over, ask her questions, whatever.

She will look like a complete fool causing drama about this now. And then if/when she does you just act flabbergasted. "Oh, my, Lucy. I had no idea. You are upset because Johnny was born on your wedding day? Wow. Huh. I don't know what to say..."

[Anonymous]

SIL shouldn't have planned her wedding so close to your due date!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:SIL shouldn't have planned her wedding so close to your due date!

The wedding was planned first!!!L

[Anonymous]

Where did OP say it took a year of TTC?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:SIL shouldn't have planned her wedding so close to your due date!

The wedding was planned first!!!L

Who gives a rats @ss? It's a wedding, it's NOT that big of a deal to anyone except the bride and groom. The world doesn't revolve around your dumb freakin wedding, people are not obligated in any way shape or form to stop living their lives just to preserve the majesty of "your special day".

[Anonymous]

Op they probably aren't actually angry over this and are either angry over something else or taking out their frustrations out on you. Maybe they wanted your sil to get pregnant first. Maybe they don't really like you and are annoyed you had their grandchild. Maybe the wedding didn't turn out that great and you're an easy scapegoat?

My inlaws are also crazy and have gotten angry at me over bizarre things. I've come to realize they often are angry about something else and/or taking out their problems on me.

Going forward I'd just try to ignore their ridiculous comments. They probably want to get a rise out of you so it's best to ignore and not get involved in their drama.