Is it harder to be a SAHM in the suburbs?

[Anonymous]

I really think your best bet, outside of moving, is to join a moms group. You mentioned that you went a few times and didn't connect with the same people each time, but I think it's worth the effort to keep going. My first moms group was on meetup, and it took a good 6 months before I made a group of friends, but we eventually split off from the larger group and still stay in touch four years later. I just relocated and found a new group through MOMS Club.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a sahm and have been for 5+ years now. Very few of my "mom friends" are WOHMs, primarily because the time I have to hang out is during the weekdays. Weekends are reserved for family time -- and alone time, for me (gym, cafe, a bit of shopping). Occasionally I go out with girlfriends for weekend dinner or work-outs + brunch, but that's not more than once/month. I would have a hard time fitting in a new friend on a weekend if the activity were child-centric, sorry to say. I'd be more likely to accept an offer that was me only, which would give my husband and son time together and me some "friend time".

I'd say my husband works at least 70+ hours/week, so I'm in a similar boat regarding being alone with child a lot. I feel lucky that I'm in a highly walkable, urban neighborhood. If I were in a suburb, then -- yes, in answer to your initial question, I think being a SAHM in suburb would be much more difficult as I would find it very isolating to live without neighbors in earshot, a park and several cafes I can reach in a couple blocks, etc. I think you are in a tough spot, but you've gotten lots of good suggestions here. I hope you find some relief!

OP here. Thanks for responding. I can totally relate to everything you wrote (except all of my friends are full-time working moms). On the weekends, my husband is oftenworking (2 weekends per month), so I do like to do child-related activities on the weekends with friends, but on the weekends he is home I like to have some time to myself, and also enjoy going out just with friends while he spends time with our child.

I can relate to the spouse working 70 hour weeks--that is exactly our situation. And it is very isolating to live in such a distant area from any kind of retail or anything walkable, etc. We used to live in the city before we moved out here and I really miss that at times. But I am trying to bloom where I am planted now, though it is really hard sometimes.

[Anonymous]

If you are the poster I think you are - you are in Reston? You need to join a pool - we are at one every afternoon of the weekend from 4 pm on with every other family with small children - kids get tired, I socialize, I pretty much want to cry when pool season ends since it's so much fun