Is it harder to be a SAHM in the suburbs?

[Anonymous]

I feel for you, OP. I just moved to the suburbs but I have multiple parks next to me and a pool, can walk to retail and the metro. For me that big problem is two infants who can't be in the summer heat which means I can't get out as much as I would like--I don't drive. I go stir crazy a bit if I don't get out. That said, I have lots of friends who I chat with during the day--my BFF from childhood in another state, mom friends, school friends. That helps a lot! Also--change therapists and get some child care and take a class at the local community center or dance studio and do something for yourself!

I agree--you must live way way out....and I am sorry there are no kids in your neighborhood!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Where do you live that a park and a preschool are 20 min away? That doesn't sound like the suburbs.

OP here. To clarify, a good park (not a tiny one), and the preschool we happen to have decided on, are 20 minutes away. I'm sure there were a few preschools that were closer. There may be some tiny parks that are closer, but in general, we have to drive 15-20 minutes to get to any good kid activities/events, etc. We are in a suburb outside the Beltway in NoVA (similar to Great Falls).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where do you live that a park and a preschool are 20 min away? That doesn't sound like the suburbs.

OP here. To clarify, a good park (not a tiny one), and the preschool we happen to have decided on, are 20 minutes away. I'm sure there were a few preschools that were closer. There may be some tiny parks that are closer, but in general, we have to drive 15-20 minutes to get to any good kid activities/events, etc. We are in a suburb outside the Beltway in NoVA (similar to Great Falls).

Why cant you just say where you live? Herndon? Ashburn? Leesburg? Manassas?

[Anonymous]

I don't see the big deal in driving 15 minutes. Even if you live in the city, you typically have to walk 10-15 minutes to get to the park or whatever.

Joining a pool is a great idea. Also if you are out every morning there is nothing wrong with hanging at home after nap. I have a 2 year old too and it's hard to meet moms. I think it will be easier as they get older though

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where do you live that a park and a preschool are 20 min away? That doesn't sound like the suburbs.

OP here. To clarify, a good park (not a tiny one), and the preschool we happen to have decided on, are 20 minutes away. I'm sure there were a few preschools that were closer. There may be some tiny parks that are closer, but in general, we have to drive 15-20 minutes to get to any good kid activities/events, etc. We are in a suburb outside the Beltway in NoVA (similar to Great Falls).

Why cant you just say where you live? Herndon? Ashburn? Leesburg? Manassas?

Seriously. If you name your suburb, maybe other posters can suggest activities/places to meet people. You haven't given any identifying information except you have a two year old and are a SAHM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where do you live that a park and a preschool are 20 min away? That doesn't sound like the suburbs.

OP here. To clarify, a good park (not a tiny one), and the preschool we happen to have decided on, are 20 minutes away. I'm sure there were a few preschools that were closer. There may be some tiny parks that are closer, but in general, we have to drive 15-20 minutes to get to any good kid activities/events, etc. We are in a suburb outside the Beltway in NoVA (similar to Great Falls).

Why cant you just say where you live? Herndon? Ashburn? Leesburg? Manassas?

Seriously. If you name your suburb, maybe other posters can suggest activities/places to meet people. You haven't given any identifying information except you have a two year old and are a SAHM.

Frankly, I don't think OP really wants to solve her problem. Like some other PPs, I've seen many (many, many) threads by OP on similar themes, and she always has excuses about why this or that won't work.

Joining a pool makes perfect sense, and none of OP's excuses wash. There will be plenty of people still there at 6:00 (people who take their kids after work, for example). It is not too hot to go if you sit in the water with your kid.

I also don't understand why socializing on the weekends, which OP says she does, isn't enough. How many SAHMs actually spend time with friends multiple times a week during the week? I am essentially a SAHM (I work from home part-time), and I can't remember the last time I spent time with a friend on a weekday afternoon. Most of my friends, including mom friends, work.

[Anonymous]

She lives in the Oak Hill area of Herndon. I remember this OP from prior posts.

[Anonymous]

OP, I think it is your negative attitude. You seem to have a lot of excuses. I personally am up to do new things all the time. We moved here with a 2yo and infant. I drove all over DC, VA and MD exploring our new surroundings. I made acquaintances and friends. I'd take coffee shop and restaurant recommendations. I would travel to try out a new japanese or gyro place. If you think it is a pain to travel 15 min to a good playground, I don't know what to tell you.

I do think this area is transient, especially with all the military and government contractors. We have met many wonderful people who move away after knowing one another for 2-3 years. Perhaps we got along better because we were new to the area together.

[Anonymous]

Is anyone else wondering if this OP is for real? It's the same thing over and over and the responses he/she gives are the same over and over.

It's just weird.

[Anonymous]

Geez. Why do you start eviscerating posters if they don't comply with demands for more info? Ever consider maybe she is taking care of her child or asleep ?

[Anonymous]

I don't know. Maybe adjust your expectations? You seem to be getting out of the house at least once most days, so join a pool, run some errands and do some things around the house in the afternoon and call it good? I don't have many mom friends either, but my moms group provides some socialization opportunities at least once a week.

[Anonymous]

Why do you need a "good" park? A tiny park close to your house is OK for a 2-year old. You may meet someone who lives close to you. I mean, how much entertainment does a 2-year old need?

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry you're getting criticized, OP. I understand completely what you mean. I live in Silver Spring outside the beltway and I COMPLETELY understand the afternoon conundrum. I stay off the roads too. We have two playgrounds within walking distance, which is great, but it is HOT to walk 15 mins to a playground. Also the same playground every day gets repetitive for both the kid and the parent. And we don't have the money to join a pool. I'm thinking of trying the Montgomery County public pools maybe.

I liked the PP who said every mom feels like all the other moms already have mom friends. I totally feel that way. I've been home with my 3 year old for a year now and I feel like I somehow missed the boat and that everyone already made friends. I do try with the other moms from my son's preschool, but it feels awkward to keep inviting people to things, and everyone seems busier than me. I'm the only one with only one child so they probably ARE all busier than me.

Anyway, just commiseration. It can be lonely for sure. I made a list (or rather, I stole a list that someone made on DCUM) of fun summer activities in the DC area and I actually made a calendar of fun things me and my son would do and we are sticking to it. I planned to potentially go with people, but so far it's just been me and my son. Regardless, it's better than sitting home!

I don't know - sometimes I just think you get lucky with who you meet and when. Hopefully both of us will happen upon a great playground and things will just click

[Birdmom5]

I think its a matter of prospective. You are doing great things with them. We live 35-45 mins from everything we do. But we love living in a more rural area. The kids have more room to play and explore. They fort building is starting to look like a little village. I think it all depends how you look at it. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

I am not a SAHM but I do live in the suburb, and I find it hard to meet other moms as well. Everything is just more spread out and if you don't belong to a church or some community, it is hard to meet people. I am having the same problems except that I am so busy on the weekends trying to do errands and chores that I don't have time to do on the weekdays, and I have basically given up on the idea of meeting other people.