Help! Dating question: are my expectations wrong?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The bottom line is that most women have had some negative experiences with online dating. There are guys out there that say that they want relationships, etc. but they are really looking for just quick and easy hook-ups.

When I meet a stranger from an online site, I am usually a bit more vocal about making it clear that I am not going to sleep with them right away. Nothing is really all that different from regular dating (I still find a make out session on date 3 or 4 to be the norm, sex after 5-6 dates if the vibe is right).

Women are just more open about telling you that they aren't going to hop in bed with you if they meet you online. It's a way to weed out the ones that won't wait more than 3 dates for sex. If a guy has a hard and fast rule about not waiting more than that, he is probably not a very high quality guy.

This. Many men are using online dating to casually sleep with one or more women at once. This is having a backlash - women know this now and are more cautious. It's safer to date the guy for longer first, make sure it's exclusive, etc.

Once a woman is burned on this issue, she becomes more cautious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Am not clear on why PPs think women are so desperate for men to buy them dinner tbh. If all they wanted was dinner, why would they not just go to the restaurant and buy the dinner? Why do you need a man for that part?

There is a male poster on dcurbanmom who constantly posts about women using men for free dinner on every single thread like this. Don't lead him on.

[Anonymous]

Dude your still in prime do all the scoring you can because it will stop when you get serious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"this is helpful (OP here). i'm not even talking sex though, or even clothes off. just talking about why a woman would be interested in continuing to date if she seems more keen on weak hugs to end the evening than a kiss on the lips. i would think that as a woman (or a man for that matter) enter their 30s, they would want to at least try and find out if there's any chemistry there around date #3 or so"

Maybe this will help. There are some men I know I want to screw. There are other men who have some characteristics I really like, or perhaps they are just likeable guys, so I think I should give them a chance even though I don't necessarily feel an attraction at first. But in the end I can't convince my animal brain to be attracted to them, so I hold back on the physical stuff (and stop seeing them).

Well, until you decide you actually want to get married. Then you deliberately target one of those compliant males that you're not really attracted to because like many women it's more important in the marital situation to have long term leverage and control over one's husband. And you make them wait for a few weeks just to ensure they are compliant, just like PP and millions of other emotionally disturbed, dysfunctional women in unhappy marriages.

Weeks. WEEKS, I say!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"this is helpful (OP here). i'm not even talking sex though, or even clothes off. just talking about why a woman would be interested in continuing to date if she seems more keen on weak hugs to end the evening than a kiss on the lips. i would think that as a woman (or a man for that matter) enter their 30s, they would want to at least try and find out if there's any chemistry there around date #3 or so"

Maybe this will help. There are some men I know I want to screw. There are other men who have some characteristics I really like, or perhaps they are just likeable guys, so I think I should give them a chance even though I don't necessarily feel an attraction at first. But in the end I can't convince my animal brain to be attracted to them, so I hold back on the physical stuff (and stop seeing them).

Well, until you decide you actually want to get married. Then you deliberately target one of those compliant males that you're not really attracted to because like many women it's more important in the marital situation to have long term leverage and control over one's husband. And you make them wait for a few weeks just to ensure they are compliant, just like PP and millions of other emotionally disturbed, dysfunctional women in unhappy marriages.

Weeks. WEEKS, I say!

Weeeeeeeks! Maybe I'm looking for someone who doesn't think with his peen and is capable of deferring gratification, ever?

It's weird how hard it is to convince these MRAs that I actually do want to make sure our personalities are compatible. Why would that be so hard to believe?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"this is helpful (OP here). i'm not even talking sex though, or even clothes off. just talking about why a woman would be interested in continuing to date if she seems more keen on weak hugs to end the evening than a kiss on the lips. i would think that as a woman (or a man for that matter) enter their 30s, they would want to at least try and find out if there's any chemistry there around date #3 or so"

Maybe this will help. There are some men I know I want to screw. There are other men who have some characteristics I really like, or perhaps they are just likeable guys, so I think I should give them a chance even though I don't necessarily feel an attraction at first. But in the end I can't convince my animal brain to be attracted to them, so I hold back on the physical stuff (and stop seeing them).

Well, until you decide you actually want to get married. Then you deliberately target one of those compliant males that you're not really attracted to because like many women it's more important in the marital situation to have long term leverage and control over one's husband. And you make them wait for a few weeks just to ensure they are compliant, just like PP and millions of other emotionally disturbed, dysfunctional women in unhappy marriages.

Weeks. WEEKS, I say!

I make them wait several months! And yet, I've always had plenty of men willing to go with my preferences. Now happily married to a stellar DH and we have plenty of sex. It's a great way to weed out the childish man-babies who can't see past the end of their d*cks.