Help! Dating question: are my expectations wrong?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely shocking that women don't want to get with some of the mouth-breathers on this thread.

Women are PEOPLE, and respond well to being talked to like fully-formed adults. Consent is sexy. Assumptions, arbitrary timelines for physical interactions, and stupid headgames aren't.

+1000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely shocking that women don't want to get with some of the mouth-breathers on this thread.

Women are PEOPLE, and respond well to being talked to like fully-formed adults. Consent is sexy. Assumptions, arbitrary timelines for physical interactions, and stupid headgames aren't.

So, what you're saying is that a man who dates a woman should not make the foolish assumption that she agreed to the date in the first place because she was sexually interested in him?

Well what is it then? The free dinner? Why are these women bothering to date at all if they don't want to have sex with men?

We are talking about adults in their 20s and 30s, right? You mean these women will actually look at an online profile and set up a date with a guy they have no sexual interest in? Given that women probably have far more choices online of who to pick them men do, it seems unbelievable.

Now the response will be something like: "But the woman doesn't HAVE to have sex with the man just because she's dating him!!!" No, she certainly doesn't, and he certainly has no obligation to continue dating someone who doesn't want to have sex with him. Because all heterosexual males date with the expectation that it will lead to sex. Otherwise why the hell bother?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely shocking that women don't want to get with some of the mouth-breathers on this thread.

Women are PEOPLE, and respond well to being talked to like fully-formed adults. Consent is sexy. Assumptions, arbitrary timelines for physical interactions, and stupid headgames aren't.

So, what you're saying is that a man who dates a woman should not make the foolish assumption that she agreed to the date in the first place because she was sexually interested in him?

Well what is it then? The free dinner? Why are these women bothering to date at all if they don't want to have sex with men?

We are talking about adults in their 20s and 30s, right? You mean these women will actually look at an online profile and set up a date with a guy they have no sexual interest in? Given that women probably have far more choices online of who to pick them men do, it seems unbelievable.

Now the response will be something like: "But the woman doesn't HAVE to have sex with the man just because she's dating him!!!" No, she certainly doesn't, and he certainly has no obligation to continue dating someone who doesn't want to have sex with him. Because all heterosexual males date with the expectation that it will lead to sex. Otherwise why the hell bother?

Ugh really? No, I wouldn't date a guy in whom I had little sexual interest. That would be a disaster. But it doesn't mean I'm ready to jump into bed with him right away. Get a life.

[Anonymous]

OP, I'm sure you're a wonderful guy with great potential for love, intimacy and more. But the creeps are definitely out there in droves, and these are the ones women are worried about. It may well take 5 dates for a woman to realize you're the great guy you sound like. Don't take it personally!

[Anonymous]

"Being smart about your safety is being picky, now? Hope you don't have a daughter."

No shit - this dude doesn't have a lot of intelligence, for as much as he tries to pretend to be an expert in how dating should work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I'm sure you're a wonderful guy with great potential for love, intimacy and more. But the creeps are definitely out there in droves, and these are the ones women are worried about. It may well take 5 dates for a woman to realize you're the great guy you sound like. Don't take it personally!

So, it's OP's fault that a woman he dates is unable to distinguish between a creep (whatever that means) and a non-creep, therefore, she is justified in assuming all men are creeps?

Nuh-uh. Every single one of you ladies, including whoever OP had the bad date with, will readily have sex on the first date with a new guy that they are sufficiently attracted to. They may rationalize the behavior in some fashion ("too much to drink," "I'm not really like this"; etc.) but it's all about sexual attraction.

Bizarro women go on dates with men and then blame the men for trying to have sex with them. But only if it's a man she doesn't want to have sex with anyway.

[Anonymous]

Jesus. If a woman doesn't want to be intimate with you, nothing anyone on DCUM tells you is going to change that. Just move on. If you find it happening regularly, maybe you just give off a creepy vibe or are not as attractive or charming as you think you are. Again, just move on. You'll know you've hit the jackpot when a woman you're on a date with wants you to touch her. There is no secret formula.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Jesus. If a woman doesn't want to be intimate with you, nothing anyone on DCUM tells you is going to change that. Just move on. If you find it happening regularly, maybe you just give off a creepy vibe or are not as attractive or charming as you think you are. Again, just move on. You'll know you've hit the jackpot when a woman you're on a date with wants you to touch her. There is no secret formula.

Maybe he's perfectly fine but he's been misled about what qualities he should be looking for in the women he dates. OP, stop dating man-hating feminists because someone told you it's wrong for you to want to date sexy bimbos and you bought into the feminist propganda that you should suppress your sexuality and self-castrate. Lord knows there are plenty of women around here who would love to do it for you.

[Anonymous]

I'm in my late 20s and I think it's just a thing. Women are hip to PUAs and are kind of getting hip to the whole game. Feminism has become a massive cultural movement among women my age and we dont feel pressured as much to go along with something just cause a dude expects it or wants it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely shocking that women don't want to get with some of the mouth-breathers on this thread.

Women are PEOPLE, and respond well to being talked to like fully-formed adults. Consent is sexy. Assumptions, arbitrary timelines for physical interactions, and stupid headgames aren't.

+1000

Please dont insult mouth breathers by comparing them to the loser men that hang out on DCUM and troll the relationship forum. They truly are a breed of their own

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Bizarro women go on dates with men and then blame the men for trying to have sex with them. But only if it's a man she doesn't want to have sex with anyway.

Bingo!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely shocking that women don't want to get with some of the mouth-breathers on this thread.

Women are PEOPLE, and respond well to being talked to like fully-formed adults. Consent is sexy. Assumptions, arbitrary timelines for physical interactions, and stupid headgames aren't.

So, what you're saying is that a man who dates a woman should not make the foolish assumption that she agreed to the date in the first place because she was sexually interested in him?

Well what is it then? The free dinner? Why are these women bothering to date at all if they don't want to have sex with men?

We are talking about adults in their 20s and 30s, right? You mean these women will actually look at an online profile and set up a date with a guy they have no sexual interest in? Given that women probably have far more choices online of who to pick them men do, it seems unbelievable.

Now the response will be something like: "But the woman doesn't HAVE to have sex with the man just because she's dating him!!!" No, she certainly doesn't, and he certainly has no obligation to continue dating someone who doesn't want to have sex with him. Because all heterosexual males date with the expectation that it will lead to sex. Otherwise why the hell bother?

It has nothing to do with a free dinner. You can easily go on a date with a man you thought was attractive and find that his pictures were old or inaccurate or he's just an asshole or he says things during the date that let you know he is definitely not a good match for you. She you have sex with him anyway, because, date? Hell no! Dates are a way to get to know people, to see if any initial interest you may have had was well founded. Often, it's not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely shocking that women don't want to get with some of the mouth-breathers on this thread.

Women are PEOPLE, and respond well to being talked to like fully-formed adults. Consent is sexy. Assumptions, arbitrary timelines for physical interactions, and stupid headgames aren't.

+1000

Please dont insult mouth breathers by comparing them to the loser men that hang out on DCUM and troll the relationship forum. They truly are a breed of their own

As an asthmatic, with various allergies, I appreciate this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely shocking that women don't want to get with some of the mouth-breathers on this thread.

Women are PEOPLE, and respond well to being talked to like fully-formed adults. Consent is sexy. Assumptions, arbitrary timelines for physical interactions, and stupid headgames aren't.

So, what you're saying is that a man who dates a woman should not make the foolish assumption that she agreed to the date in the first place because she was sexually interested in him?

Well what is it then? The free dinner? Why are these women bothering to date at all if they don't want to have sex with men?

We are talking about adults in their 20s and 30s, right? You mean these women will actually look at an online profile and set up a date with a guy they have no sexual interest in? Given that women probably have far more choices online of who to pick them men do, it seems unbelievable.

Now the response will be something like: "But the woman doesn't HAVE to have sex with the man just because she's dating him!!!" No, she certainly doesn't, and he certainly has no obligation to continue dating someone who doesn't want to have sex with him. Because all heterosexual males date with the expectation that it will lead to sex. Otherwise why the hell bother?

It has nothing to do with a free dinner. You can easily go on a date with a man you thought was attractive and find that his pictures were old or inaccurate or he's just an asshole or he says things during the date that let you know he is definitely not a good match for you. She you have sex with him anyway, because, date? Hell no! Dates are a way to get to know people, to see if any initial interest you may have had was well founded. Often, it's not.

If men had even the slightest clue about the potentially disastrous consequences for women going on dates with randoms from the internet, this wouldn't even be a conversation. Of course, the more enlightened males who are already at least marginally aware of this aren't the knuckle-draggers on this thread anyway (they're probably happily coupled and getting laid as we speak).

[Anonymous]

Am not clear on why PPs think women are so desperate for men to buy them dinner tbh. If all they wanted was dinner, why would they not just go to the restaurant and buy the dinner? Why do you need a man for that part?