I hate my mother

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow, I'm so sad to see how many of us have had sucky mothers. Mine abandoned me when I was just a few years old because her third husband didn't want kids. It was probably for the best since she was physically abusive to me and married around 5 different guys, all abusive alcoholics. Unfortunately, in my case my grandmother was no better (physically and emotionally abusive). Of course my mom learned her parenting from grandma so I had to endure hell until I ran away from home at 16 years old. It's so sad how anyone can just have a child and the impact that mistreatment continues to have even as an adult. I don't like drama or stress either. I have made a choice not to have communication with my mother. She continues to make unhealthy choices (alcohol, abusive men, etc) so I have cut her off. I do mail her pics of my baby every now and then but I don't want my child exposed to that woman. All during my pregnancy people asked if my parents were excited and I would just lie since it's such a mess to explain. Thank god that DH's parents are loving and caring people so DD will have grandparents on that side. It's sad that my mom cannot face her issues to heal herself and continues to live such a chaotic life. I feel sorry for her but I will do better with my child. I'm glad to see that there are other women out there that have survived and grew into strong women and hopefully better role models for their own daughters.

This is OP, that is so sad. I'm also happy to read that you were able to break the cycle and rise above your mom. It's like some women are missing a gene and aren't maternal in the least.

And poster above this one, thank you for the advice, it all means alot right now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In the will I am listed by name and state but my relationship to my grandmother is "daughter", not grand daughter and my son is listed as "grandson", not great-grandson. Based on this my mother feels my grandmother was out of her sound mind and these are not her wishes.

Do you have a brother? If you don't, isn't it obvious she meant you and your son?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In the will I am listed by name and state but my relationship to my grandmother is "daughter", not grand daughter and my son is listed as "grandson", not great-grandson. Based on this my mother feels my grandmother was out of her sound mind and these are not her wishes.

Do you have a brother? If you don't, isn't it obvious she meant you and your son?

Nope, I am an only child with no cousins. I am going to wait until the next hearing on the Will to decide if I want to consult a lawyer to see where I stand and if I should have representation. I received the "Proof of Will" papers in the mail today from my mom's lawyers. Again, just a kick in the face.

Now that my stepfather has "disowned" me should I be defending my stake and looking out for my kids? I am so confused and torn and hurt. Do I let my mom run with this? Do I defend what was rightfully left to me and my children (I have more than one now)? Do I just wait and see what happens? I don't want to make a decision based on being hurt by my mother or being guilty over going up against her. Not sure what to do and that also sucks.

[Anonymous]

OP, Also, if your mom actually said OUT LOUD that she wished she had an abortion instead of having you,

RUN, do not walk, away from this woman. No decent human being says that to another (wish you were never born, wish you were dead, whatever). Especially not your own mom.

It explains a lot. But it's cruel.

My EX husband told me to have am abortion instead of the child I have now. She will NEVER know that. why inflict that pain on her????

Get thee to a therapist and end ALL contact with this woman. She has no love in her heart.

[Anonymous]

Is it possible to hire an attorney to go to the hearing to defend your interests? I think that going and listen to your mother would be more of the same assault on your emotions.

I'm sorry your mom is so selfish. Mine is quite similar. I have not quite made it to the point of giving up. I need to eventually accept that she is never going to be the kind mother that I want. For some reason, it is very difficult.

[Anonymous]

Op--I have posted before, supporting you and wishing you strength. I have not been through what you have, so I cannot speak to your immense pain. I can only sympathize and send you good wishes. If it is emotionally and financially feasible, I would defend what was given to me. I think you have MANY legitimate reasons to defend yourself and LOTS of stories in support of why your grandmother would have given you the money and called you "daughter." I mean, I'm convinced--many of use here are convinced--maybe a judge or arbitrator would be too. Your mother is an abusive, neglectful woman married to someone who sounds like a total a**hole. It's very likely this will come through to the person making the decision about this, in the same way it has come through to us here. But if you decide you just can't, or just don't want to, that's just fine, too. I hope that whatever you decide to do you can feel at peace about it. I wish you all good things.