DH is never getting out of the doghouse for this...

[Anonymous]

I agree PP. Some of these mean posters need to get a grip. I can't believe it, frankly.

[Anonymous]

"Um. She did get a "little acknowledgment and consideration." She just didn't like it as it was given."

I don't believe she did. He put ZERO thought into anything. So, we'll have to agree to disagree.

[Anonymous]

That should be a "he" in the first sentence . . . lest the grammar police point that out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Um. She did get a "little acknowledgment and consideration." She just didn't like it as it was given."

I don't believe she did. He put ZERO thought into anything. So, we'll have to agree to disagree.

Perhaps he knew that she liked, and used, the taped candles, so that's what he got her.

[Anonymous]

I'm one of the posters who offered OP advice on how to get the birthday thing right next time. I don't think that it was mean, and I didn't mean to imply that it was all her fault. Just that sometimes when women think that ithey're making it "easy" for their husbands to do the "right" thing, they're setting themselves up for disappointment. Husbands might not find the same things easy, and might not have as good a sense of the "right" thing.

Personally, I'm not that hell-bent on the "right" birthday present so I wouldn't go to the trouble of making the plans OP did. And knowing that I hadn't done so, I could accept whatever I got.

For my birthday DH got advice from two different friends about what to get me. I overheard one-- something from TIffany's. I was so excited. Then he came home with a framed photo. Why? He ended up shopping with the other friend. It's kind of a cool photo. Wasn't the Tiffany box though. I had a momentary wave of disappointment and realized that would be really, really mean to express. He HAD gone shopping and even enlisted someone else's help (unfortunately, not the romantic, handsome Cuban friend who said Tiffany's). He HAD surprised me. And it turns out that he picked it because he thought I'd want something house-related for my first birthday in our new house together. I'm so glad I didn't let my momentary disappointment show. In fact, I never told him. Now, every time I look at it, I think of how great he is and of one of my rare moments of good judgment as a wife.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree PP. Some of these mean posters need to get a grip. I can't believe it, frankly.

I think OP needs to get a grip.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Um. She did get a "little acknowledgment and consideration." She just didn't like it as it was given."

I don't believe she did. He put ZERO thought into anything. So, we'll have to agree to disagree.

Seems like he was not allowed to put any thought into it. OP dictated everything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who are you jackasses who are being so mean to the OP? Just because you have issues doesn't mean OP is the same your own mean old mommy, people. Her husband took zero time and interest in her birthday despite the fact that she takes lots of time with his. Why is it wrong that she was upset? She's not angry with the children, and some of you did not read that her children did NOT pick out the gifts (she has already clarified that). OP, my husband IS considerate of me, but I still empathize with you. These women are pathological creeps who get a kick out of hurting someone. They are the type to kick people when they're down and then spend hours on some therapists couch wasting their families' money talking about how mommy ruined their lives and then go out into the world and project their own problems all over everyone else. Not that I have an opinion of that or anything!

Let me see - you mention people with Mommy issues twice in one post, and then talk about other people projecting. Hello pot, meet kettle.

Your reply doesn't make much sense to me. Read through the posts -- many of the bitchy posters are talking about OP being exactly like their own mothers -- as if they could tell this from a single upset post she writes! To me, that's projecting. Now tell me how me making that observation is a projection. Sorry, your response was dumb.

[Anonymous]

Tiffany Suggester here again. Have we considered that OP's DH may be the passive-aggressive one? Men often get out of chores they dislike by doing them a half-assed manner. Technically, they get to say, "I did the laundry but it wasn't to DW's exacting specifications." The gift issue may be part of a larger power struggle in their relationship.

My sister just went through the same thing. Her DH, a chef, messed up Mother's Day. She asked him to cook her a special dinner to make up for it. He ruined that too. It seems like his sly way of expressing resentment.

There is nothing wrong with making a big deal of holidays if that floats your boat. For the record, DH and I usually decide to celebrate with champagne and takeout. I prefer the freedom of being able to splurge randomly throughout the year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tiffany Suggester here again. Have we considered that OP's DH may be the passive-aggressive one? Men often get out of chores they dislike by doing them a half-assed manner. Technically, they get to say, "I did the laundry but it wasn't to DW's exacting specifications." The gift issue may be part of a larger power struggle in their relationship.

My sister just went through the same thing. Her DH, a chef, messed up Mother's Day. She asked him to cook her a special dinner to make up for it. He ruined that too. It seems like his sly way of expressing resentment.

There is nothing wrong with making a big deal of holidays if that floats your boat. For the record, DH and I usually decide to celebrate with champagne and takeout. I prefer the freedom of being able to splurge randomly throughout the year.

I have found this too.

[Anonymous]

Divorce him.

[Anonymous]

You need to work on your husband a month before your birthday. Have the kids remind him., too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I agree. Perhaps the kids picked out the gifts themselves. They might have been hurt that you were crying when you saw what they had picked.

This was my reaction also. Whatever you feel about your birthday celebration and gifts, you owed it to the kids NOT to cry in front of them. I remember my mom did the same thing when I was little. All of us kids had been SO excited about giving her the big present my dad had picked out -- just knew that our beloved mom would love it, and she hated it. Made us all feel really bad -- not for her, but for our dad.

[Anonymous]

So many of us have mommy issues. Sounds as though they never get resolved.

I'm finding this thread very funny, and I'm the OP many of you are criticizing. I haven't had a good laugh in a while, so this is helping a lot. Thanks.

Tiffany Suggester: Thanks, you are right on the money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So many of us have mommy issues. Sounds as though they never get resolved.

I'm finding this thread very funny, and I'm the OP many of you are criticizing. I haven't had a good laugh in a while, so this is helping a lot. Thanks.

Tiffany Suggester: Thanks, you are right on the money.

Don't laugh too hard, your kids just might end up with their own unresolvable mommy issues.