DH doesn't want me to be "one of those people"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is such an idiotic discussion. All these people dont make comments to their spouses about the appearance of people on TV? Seriously? Liars, all of you.

You can certainly comment on a celebrity or public person's appearance. The point is that while a person's appearance is fair game when discussing that person, it isn't fair to be discussing their spouse's appearance. In other words, the beauty or appearance of the wives is only relevant when discussing the wives, not when discussing the candidates. It's shallow enough if you consider the candidates charisma or appearance as a pro or con. It's far more shallow if you consider the spouse's attractiveness as a pro or con for the candidate.

Trump already stooped to that level. The public should not also stoop to that level. That is what OP's husband very obnoxiously pointed out and to which he completely overreacted.

OMG. The comment OP made was in reference to an ongoing squabble about exactly what you are saying. It wasn't made out of the blue.

I don't find her attractive either, and that's not sour grapes. I really don't like those deep-set eyes. They bug me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you ought to be able to express an opinion about anyone's - anyone's - looks without your husband making it into a character discussion. People have looks. It's OK to discuss them.

And if your opinion happens to cast you in a shrewish, small, unflattering light well let the chips fall where they may.

LMAO

PP, she's doing her model grin or whatever it is. I kid you not: You have to be batshit crazy if you refuse to admit that an Eastern European model is not better looking than 99.99999999% of women in this thread OP should post her picture so we all partake in a discussion of her looks.

OP here. My complaint was that my husband responded to what I thought was an innocuous (albeit petty as I see now) comment with an attack on my character--which he often does in arguments--rather than just saying, "I disagree with you." or "When you say you don't think Melania Trump is attractive, you sound petty." For the record, I am not arguing about whether I'm more attractive than a model. I stated that I am not insecure about my looks and that insecurity wasn't the reason I said I don't find MT outstandingly beautiful. But I appreciate the comments about measuring a woman's value based only on her beauty because, though I like to think that I don't do that, I've had to really think about it this week. Asking for advice on DCUM is a real crapshoot, but in this case, the comments received have made me think!

You should understand that when you criticize another women, you express self-hate. Most adults know this, and your DH said so out loud, to your face. You demolish your self worth when you criticize other women. It really is not that difficult to understand. You married a DH with higher intellect than yourself.

Huh? Don't be ridiculous. There's nothing about being female that serves as a shield from criticism. Perhaps you feel one with the entire womenfolk of this planet. Most women don't. We can praise or criticize each other on individual merits, without feeling that praise of one woman is self-aggrandizement or that criticism of another is self-hate. Melania Trump is not me; how can criticizing her be self-hating?

It's also complete nonsense that you have to be beautiful yourself to criticize other women's looks. I can't bake worth shit; yet I feel completely normal expressing opinions of other people's cupcakes. There is really no admission test for this. You can have opinions about whatever you want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you ought to be able to express an opinion about anyone's - anyone's - looks without your husband making it into a character discussion. People have looks. It's OK to discuss them.

And if your opinion happens to cast you in a shrewish, small, unflattering light well let the chips fall where they may.

LMAO

PP, she's doing her model grin or whatever it is. I kid you not: You have to be batshit crazy if you refuse to admit that an Eastern European model is not better looking than 99.99999999% of women in this thread OP should post her picture so we all partake in a discussion of her looks.

OP here. My complaint was that my husband responded to what I thought was an innocuous (albeit petty as I see now) comment with an attack on my character--which he often does in arguments--rather than just saying, "I disagree with you." or "When you say you don't think Melania Trump is attractive, you sound petty." For the record, I am not arguing about whether I'm more attractive than a model. I stated that I am not insecure about my looks and that insecurity wasn't the reason I said I don't find MT outstandingly beautiful. But I appreciate the comments about measuring a woman's value based only on her beauty because, though I like to think that I don't do that, I've had to really think about it this week. Asking for advice on DCUM is a real crapshoot, but in this case, the comments received have made me think!

You should understand that when you criticize another women, you express self-hate. Most adults know this, and your DH said so out loud, to your face. You demolish your self worth when you criticize other women. It really is not that difficult to understand. You married a DH with higher intellect than yourself.

Oh the irony. You're the ugliest person in this thread. And I'm not being a hypocrite because I think it's okay to say the things you think in your head out loud to the closest person to you.

OP, ignore these DCUM hags who take any opportunity to jump down someone's throat (usually females' throats... ironically). If you have a healthy relationship with DH you should absolutely feel able to be open enough to express your opinions, no matter how "petty" the subject matter is. Your DH is probably the only person you can express these "petty" opinions with without feeling judged yourself. The character attacks just because he disagrees with you is hurtful, so the next time it happens don't let your emotions turn it into a heated disagreement and say to him very calmly and clearly "hey, we're on the same team. Is it really necessary for you to say x about me just because I'm expressing how I feel about y to you? I want to be able to express my opinion about anything to you without feeling constricted. You are free to disagree with me, but I would appreciate that same respect."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is such an idiotic discussion. All these people dont make comments to their spouses about the appearance of people on TV? Seriously? Liars, all of you.

You can certainly comment on a celebrity or public person's appearance. The point is that while a person's appearance is fair game when discussing that person, it isn't fair to be discussing their spouse's appearance. In other words, the beauty or appearance of the wives is only relevant when discussing the wives, not when discussing the candidates. It's shallow enough if you consider the candidates charisma or appearance as a pro or con. It's far more shallow if you consider the spouse's attractiveness as a pro or con for the candidate.

Trump already stooped to that level. The public should not also stoop to that level. That is what OP's husband very obnoxiously pointed out and to which he completely overreacted.

OMG. The comment OP made was in reference to an ongoing squabble about exactly what you are saying. It wasn't made out of the blue.

I don't find her attractive either, and that's not sour grapes. I really don't like those deep-set eyes. They bug me.

Exactly. As I mentioned up-thread, the reason that OP's husband went irrationally ballistic was because he was saying that commenting on spouse's appearance was inane and then OP went and commented on the spouse's appearance. He had hoped that she was above Trump's level, but apparently she wasn't. That doesn't excuse what he did, just explains why he was so upset by her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your hubby is an ass

. I disagree. OP's comment made her sound like an ass and DH was naturally annoyed at her vacuous comment. Signed- liberal wife.