DH doesn't want me to be "one of those people"

[Anonymous]

I can't believe I'm writing this because it's so stupid! But this is my life...one example of a familiar theme. As a casual comment related to a conversations about the presidential race, I said I do not find Melania Trump attractive and DH flew off the handle and said, among other things, that he doesn't want me to be "one of those people" who complain about attractive people and act threatened. He said it reflects my lack of confidence and ability the have fun. Apparently, he wants me to say, "she's hot!" or something. We're both liberal, if that matters. Also, if it matters, I do consider myself to be an attractive person and don't not feel insecure about my looks most of the time. My issue with this situation is that every time I disagree w/ DH, he has to make it about some greater personal flaw of mine rather than just agreeing to disagree and now I'm really pissed about this ridiculous conversation! Is this a normal marital conversation? Is this a case of someone who loves me knowing how to push my buttons or is it a case of a husband who really doesn't like his wife?

[Anonymous]

You both sound exhausting.

But since you're asking, I can't grasp why a "liberal" woman would insult a politician's wife's looks. Maybe your husband found it petty.

[Anonymous]

Lol, maybe he did find it petty. I mentioned I didn't find her attractive in the context of him telling me about the Twitter kefluffle between Cruz and Trump--I guess Cruz's camp tweeted a racy picture of M. Trump and Trump's camp tweeted an unflattering pic of Cruz's wife. I only mentioned that we're both liberal to point out that this wasn't an argument about politics.

[Anonymous]

Every woman on here claims they are attractive.

I doubt it.

[Anonymous]

That would annoy me. My ex would analyze me like that and talk like he is so right. Annoying AF

[Anonymous]

My husband doesn't say things like that ("one of those people"), but we do argue/debate over really small annoying things.

[Anonymous]

What you did is kind of a pet peeve of mine. But I know a lot of women do it. Women judge other women's looks, because you know, that's how we should judge women's merits. It's not like they have any other qualities beyond their looks.

[Anonymous]

Melania Trump is gorgeous. Maybe you shouldn't have judged her because you sound like an idiot.

Maybe you shouldn't judge ANY woman's looks. You sound vey young, vacuous, and immature.

[Anonymous]

He doesn't want you to be one of those superficial people who judge anyone by their looks. The point of the nonsensical issue is that Trump made a rather superficial comment about Cruz' wife because he married a trophy wife. Cruz responded in typical Male Shining Knight fashion and blew off Trump. The reason its all nonsensical is because the beauty of the potential first ladies should be irrelevant to the discussion of the candidates. That's what makes this kerfuffle insipid and childish. And you jumped right in and commented on her looks. What he wanted, was you to comment about how stupid the exchange was and not comment about either candidate's wife's appearance.

That said, your husband was an ass to explode and insult you about it.

When you are not in the middle of an argument, you should comment that you really don't appreciate that when he doesn't agree with something you've said that rather than respond to what was said, he responds with a personal attack against you. He makes every argument personal rather than about the topic of discussion.

[Anonymous]

Your hubby is an ass

[Anonymous]

If you have a pattern of criticizing women's looks, then your husband could say to you, gently, something like "You are too fine of a person for that sort of woman on woman criticism." Or words to that effect. But hectoring you for a tossed-off remark is to me, soul-destroying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You both sound exhausting.

But since you're asking, I can't grasp why a "liberal" woman would insult a politician's wife's looks. Maybe your husband found it petty.

It is petty. It doesn't reflect well on OP whether she likes it or not. DH made the mistake of pointing out a flaw her in character. She got pissed. It's normal. That's what people do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You both sound exhausting.

But since you're asking, I can't grasp why a "liberal" woman would insult a politician's wife's looks. Maybe your husband found it petty.

It is petty. It doesn't reflect well on OP whether she likes it or not. DH made the mistake of pointing out a flaw her in character. She got pissed. It's normal. That's what people do.

A flaw in her character? Please. Unless OP has a pattern of insulting women, making a joke about Melania Trump is hardly a character flaw.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You both sound exhausting.

But since you're asking, I can't grasp why a "liberal" woman would insult a politician's wife's looks. Maybe your husband found it petty.

It is petty. It doesn't reflect well on OP whether she likes it or not. DH made the mistake of pointing out a flaw her in character. She got pissed. It's normal. That's what people do.

A flaw in her character? Please. Unless OP has a pattern of insulting women, making a joke about Melania Trump is hardly a character flaw.

For her DH to be moved to make such a comment, I have to believe there's more of a pattern here than OP either is letting on or will acknowledge, even to herself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You both sound exhausting.

But since you're asking, I can't grasp why a "liberal" woman would insult a politician's wife's looks. Maybe your husband found it petty.

It is petty. It doesn't reflect well on OP whether she likes it or not. DH made the mistake of pointing out a flaw her in character. She got pissed. It's normal. That's what people do.

A flaw in her character? Please. Unless OP has a pattern of insulting women, making a joke about Melania Trump is hardly a character flaw.

OP didn't indicate she made a joke. Please don't make things up.