Marrying a man with no means...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you didn't answer. Are you the same poster with the future SIL who was crashing your Valentine's Day hotel room?

no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't see how living together would make things more palatable. He's in debt up to his eyeballs. He is not making much. He supports a stay-at-home MIL. You, on the other hand, want to have children and SAH. These just don't jive. Saving 4K a month sounds nice, but will you be able to do this? How do you know you won't have any unexpected expenses? Being relatively young, will you be able to stick to the bare essentials for a very long time? I mean, you obviously made up your mind, but I think this whole thing is a recipe for disaster.

OP here. This is it though. I do not really WANT to stick to bare essentials. We're young. I want us to have some fun before we settle down. Our money issues make it so we cannot, if we want to dream of some semblance of a financially stable future.

[Anonymous]

What does your bf think of this?

The MIL part would drive me nuts. I would seriously resent having to work to support her. Ugh.

[Anonymous]

Maybe his parents need to get jobs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where did he attend school? Do you see him earning substantially more money?

Love doesn't pay bills. If you are pretty and young, you can afford to be picky. Now is the time to find a good provider.

This is OP. He went to Vanderbilt for undergrad and Georgetown for his M.A in IR.

OP, have Jeff delete this post. It would be very easy to find him (and you) right now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If I were you, I'd live together but not marry. Share living expenses but keep the rest of your finances separate. You can see how things go without putting yourself at financial risk. Do not have children until you both have financial stability and can afford to raise them without taking on debt other than a reasonable mortgage.

+1. Save your money like crazy.

And sorry to say this, but have a backup plan to leave in one year if things are not clear. Save for a downpayment on a small condo you can live in affordably and then rent out in the future.

Do not put all of your eggs in this basket. There are a few other people doing that already. Either he picks you, or the basket will break. Sorry to be negative, but the whole scenario is not sustainable.

Also, figure out how you can earn and save more yourself to protect your SAHM dream, whether it is with this guy or someone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where did he attend school? Do you see him earning substantially more money?

Love doesn't pay bills. If you are pretty and young, you can afford to be picky. Now is the time to find a good provider.

This is OP. He went to Vanderbilt for undergrad and Georgetown for his M.A in IR.

OP, have Jeff delete this post. It would be very easy to find him (and you) right now.

That is pretty identifying information, but this listserv is silly the way people think they can recognize others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where did he attend school? Do you see him earning substantially more money?

Love doesn't pay bills. If you are pretty and young, you can afford to be picky. Now is the time to find a good provider.

This is OP. He went to Vanderbilt for undergrad and Georgetown for his M.A in IR.

OP, have Jeff delete this post. It would be very easy to find him (and you) right now.

That is pretty identifying information, but this listserv is silly the way people think they can recognize others.

+1. I've never been able to identify anyone in this forum. Posters are from all over the country.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is OP.

My Bf and I did the math last night and after he pays the bills, rent and his loans, transportation costs and groceries including budgeting for $60 for lunches each week, he has about $600 of his paycheck that should be left over for him to save. So far, he does not manage to save it so we talked about buckling down and making sure we save at least $500 of it. Since he covers all the essential costs my paycheck of 3300ish per month should go to being saved.

I think together we'll be okay. We aren't managing our money well. I also need him to earn more before we have children since, if I stay home, we won't have any of my income for extra expenses.

Wait, so he pays all the bills and you get to just save your whole paycheck? Your BF just lets everyone take advantage of him, huh OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
OP here. He majored in history during undergrad and studied middle eastern affairs at GT.

The usual irrelevant Beltway bullshit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:budgeting for $60 for lunches each week

Are you joking??? What a waste of money. I spend max of $12.50/week on lunches.

You two are classic DC--academically intelligent, yet with heads shoved firmly up asses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
My Bf and I did the math last night and after he pays the bills, rent and his loans, transportation costs and groceries including budgeting for $60 for lunches each week, he has about $600 of his paycheck that should be left over for him to save. So far, he does not manage to save it so we talked about buckling down and making sure we save at least $500 of it. Since he covers all the essential costs my paycheck of 3300ish per month should go to being saved.

If your idiot BF can reduce his daily work lunch costs to $2.50 per lunch, he can save $182/month.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:budgeting for $60 for lunches each week

Are you joking??? What a waste of money. I spend max of $12.50/week on lunches.

You two are classic DC--academically intelligent, yet with heads shoved firmly up asses.

erm lunch in DC cost $8 to $12

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:budgeting for $60 for lunches each week

Are you joking??? What a waste of money. I spend max of $12.50/week on lunches.

You two are classic DC--academically intelligent, yet with heads shoved firmly up asses.

$12.50 a week is not what most people spend on two people's lunches a week. You are at the other extreme.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:budgeting for $60 for lunches each week

Are you joking??? What a waste of money. I spend max of $12.50/week on lunches.

You two are classic DC--academically intelligent, yet with heads shoved firmly up asses.

$12.50 a week is not what most people spend on two people's lunches a week. You are at the other extreme.

Either way they'll have to bring lunches from home. No eating out, period.