Feel free, FIL!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well maybe he doesn't know how to make coffee with your coffee machine and you sound like a slightly strung out bitch. Six weeks isn't that big of a deal, according to the federal government in fact that is all you get for usable sick leave after having a vaginal birth. Maybe your FIL is a pill, but you could have handled it better.

I had a C-section. And actually had to be readmitted for four days because of a bad infection.

It's a standard coffee maker, just like the one he manages to use at home. He also manages to figure out in-room coffee makers at hotels. So he is capable.

And it ain't just coffee. This man sits after dinner someone else prepared and doesn't even bother to help clear the table. His idea of "helping" with baby is to hold only if she is swaddled and sleeping, for 5 minutes max. So I'm starting to feel a little bitchy toward him, yeah. Your point?

I'm right there with you. My father had enough sense to let my mother go alone because he knew he wouldn't be the hands-on help I needed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well maybe he doesn't know how to make coffee with your coffee machine and you sound like a slightly strung out bitch. Six weeks isn't that big of a deal, according to the federal government in fact that is all you get for usable sick leave after having a vaginal birth. Maybe your FIL is a pill, but you could have handled it better.

I had a C-section. And actually had to be read kitted for four days because of a bad infection.

It's a standard coffee maker, just like the one he manages to use at home. He also manages to figure out in-room coffee makers at hotels. So he is capable.

And it ain't just coffee. This man sits after dinner someone else prepared and doesn't even bother to help clear the table. His idea of "helping" with baby is to hold only if she is swaddled and sleeping, for 5 minutes max. So I'm starting to feel a little bitchy toward him, yeah. Your point?

OP, I said it before and I'll say it again-so many people here just don't get that it isn't about this one thing. If it was just the coffee, you could probably overlook it. But people like FIL go way beyond the coffee with their thoughtlessness and ridiculous expectations. I don't blame you for feeling a little bitchy toward him. Hang in there.

[Anonymous]

OP glad you are not getting bullied into making nice over this situation. You should not be expected to be in host mode right now. FIL will have to figure out how to make his own coffee.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would tell him that you're bleeding right now and also have to tend to the baby. Then leave the room. He will never ask again

Yeah, and mention your leaking boobs too. He will never go there again.

[Anonymous]

Op you are passive aggressive. You should have told him "I refuse to make more coffee for you because the other stuff I need need to do is more important and I resent having to do so for you. Make it yourself."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My dad is like this. It's annoying as all hell. I feel bad for my sister in law. He visited them when their baby was 4 mo and asked her daily what was for breakfast.

Your sister in law can't keep a box of Wheaties around the house for your dad?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not surprised that he was hoping you would make it. But the complaining to MIL about it? Ridiculous!

We're getting one side only here. She was probably really bitchy about it IRL. Op cleArly doesn't like her FIL and resents his presence. She must be a misandrist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:all this over coffee?

Of course not. Op seriously doesn't like her in-laws and resents having them in the way. Because op is a good brainwashed feminist, she knows that the way to handle even the most trivial dispute with a man is to stand on principle and start world war III rather than spend 30 seconds making the old geezer a fresh pot to avoid needless family conflict. She doesn't seem to know genetics and must have forgot this is her new baby's grandfather and based on that perhaps she could have avoided this. I guess she never intends to accept any holiday or birthday gifts from the in-laws either for the child, not any kind of financial help for the rest of the child's life, nor does she wish to maintain a peaceful relationship with him.

Op maybe you just need to get a grip, why did you even invite them to stay at your home if you weren't prepared to host?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well maybe he doesn't know how to make coffee with your coffee machine and you sound like a slightly strung out bitch. Six weeks isn't that big of a deal, according to the federal government in fact that is all you get for usable sick leave after having a vaginal birth. Maybe your FIL is a pill, but you could have handled it better.

Wow. OPs GIL didn't have to bitch about it. He could have (a) been an adult and asked her to show him how to use the machine, (b) asked his wife how to use the machine, or even (c) asked his wife to make the coffee. For him to pressure her and grouse about it while OP has her hands full is absurd. I'm sure this is not the only example of FIL wanting to be served. I don't picture him offering to make dinner or offering to clear the plates and load the dishwasher. OP sounds fine. You sound a little crazy.

Uh, or HIS SON, OP'S HUSBAND could show him how. DIL and MIL only expected to help clueless FIL? Your gender stereotype expectations are showing.

Mmmm, no. I'm trying to work within FILs limited scope. Of course OPs husband could also get involved, if a fourth person needs to be dragged into this little one-act. If you knew me, you'd know that I, like OP, don't put up with these expectations of serving a FIL. But thanks for playing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:all this over coffee?

Of course not. Op seriously doesn't like her in-laws and resents having them in the way. Because op is a good brainwashed feminist, she knows that the way to handle even the most trivial dispute with a man is to stand on principle and start world war III rather than spend 30 seconds making the old geezer a fresh pot to avoid needless family conflict. She doesn't seem to know genetics and must have forgot this is her new baby's grandfather and based on that perhaps she could have avoided this. I guess she never intends to accept any holiday or birthday gifts from the in-laws either for the child, not any kind of financial help for the rest of the child's life, nor does she wish to maintain a peaceful relationship with him.

Op maybe you just need to get a grip, why did you even invite them to stay at your home if you weren't prepared to host?

Oh good, the MRA have joined the thread!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:all this over coffee?

Of course not. Op seriously doesn't like her in-laws and resents having them in the way. Because op is a good brainwashed feminist, she knows that the way to handle even the most trivial dispute with a man is to stand on principle and start world war III rather than spend 30 seconds making the old geezer a fresh pot to avoid needless family conflict. She doesn't seem to know genetics and must have forgot this is her new baby's grandfather and based on that perhaps she could have avoided this. I guess she never intends to accept any holiday or birthday gifts from the in-laws either for the child, not any kind of financial help for the rest of the child's life, nor does she wish to maintain a peaceful relationship with him.

Op maybe you just need to get a grip, why did you even invite them to stay at your home if you weren't prepared to host?

Oh good, the MRA have joined the thread!

Hooray!

But seriously, dude, get back on your medication.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op you are passive aggressive. You should have told him "I refuse to make more coffee for you because the other stuff I need need to do is more important and I resent having to do so for you. Make it yourself."

Jesus. I guess you don't have great relationships.

[Anonymous]

My dad is like this (minus the bitching, thankfully). We had a similar exchange once. Instead of making coffee or getting my mom to do it, he walked 4 blocks to the 7-11.

For what it's worth, OP, I think you handled it fine. You weren't directly confrontational, and you didn't cater to a ridiculous request.

[Anonymous]

Send him a tutorial. https://video.search.yahoo.com/search/video;_ylt=AwrBT9z3dMRW5fEAc1VXNyoA;_ylu=X3oDMTEyNTg5NnYzBGNvbG8DYmYxBHBvcwMxBHZ0aWQDQjE1OTFfMQRzZWMDc2M-?p=How+To+Make+Coffee+For+Dummies&fr=aaplw#action=view&id=2&vid=e8aa05f00f8c95984b9d6aff11b040c8

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op you are passive aggressive. You should have told him "I refuse to make more coffee for you because the other stuff I need need to do is more important and I resent having to do so for you. Make it yourself."

Jesus. I guess you don't have great relationships.

Take the passive out of passive aggressive and all that's left is aggressive. Yikes.