Feel free, FIL!
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
|
DD1 is 2.5, DD2 is 6 weeks. In those short 6 weeks, we've hosted ILs twice, and I do mean "hosted."
I made coffee at 6 am for FIL. He drank the full pot except 1 cup for MIL and 1/2 cup for me. At 7:30: "DIL, we are out of coffee." "Oh, there's more above the left-hand cabinet." "No, I mean the pot is empty." "Oh, please feel free to make more." "I'll wait until you have another cup." "I'm not planning to have more. Please feel free to make more. I'm off to nurse the baby!" Just overheard him bitching to MIL about it. Do I expressly state that I need adults to help, or AT LEAST be self-sufficient, or do you think he'll get the hint if I carry on as above? Up till now, I've catered to him, but I'm done. MIL will likely step up to help, as she always does so when asked. I'm tired. |
Anonymous
| Unbelievable yet typical for his age. Consider teaching him to make coffee. He actually may not know how. |
Anonymous
| My dad is like this. It's annoying as all hell. I feel bad for my sister in law. He visited them when their baby was 4 mo and asked her daily what was for breakfast. |
Anonymous
| No more visits. I would not tolerate anyone treating me as a servant in my home. Especially in front of my daughters. And all the "proper hostess police" in here can stuff it-- just an excuse to be a doormat. |
Anonymous
| No. You said what you needed to. Don't engage further. Let him bitch. He'll get it out of his system. If you engage in the drama they'll realize that they can get to you this way. Don't reward it. |
Anonymous
| I would say let DH handle it, but just the fact that you're gearing up to do so at 6 weeks postpartum tells me he doesn't handle his family. |
Anonymous
| Old men are so lazy. |
Anonymous
| He's a guest in your home. You should have made another pot of coffee. |
Anonymous
| I would put a smile on my face and say that, "we're too close of a family for you to act like a guest in our home, you are welcome to anything in here. And with me wrangling kids you may be waiting for hours if you wait for me. Let me show you how to use the coffee machine in case you aren't familiar with this model." |
Anonymous
Shut it. Anyone visiting after the birth of a baby needs to either help or at least go with the flow. The baby needed to be fed. FIL can make another pit or drive to McDonalds. |
Anonymous
|
OP here. Thanks for the advice! I like the idea of saying, "Oh, you're family! Help yourselves and don't wait for me...wouldn't want you to wait while I'm helping baby."
For the record, he's 65, in perfect health, knows how to operate our standard coffee maker, and is completely capable of helping himself and others. |
Anonymous
|
You have a 6 week old? And you are hosting people? And they expect you to make coffee???
Nope. Guests are helpful when there's a baby in the house, or they stay somewhere else. |
Anonymous
| Please don't give up, OP. Ask your MIL to step in and help out or DH. One of them could make him a pot of coffee. |
Anonymous
But do it publicly so they see how ridiculous he is: "Mary, Tom, I can't make more coffee like Dick asked me to, because I have to go feed the baby and then check my incision site. Can you make him another pot, or show him how to use our standard coffee maker? Thanks!" |
Anonymous
| See the Baby Boomer thread... |