Feel free, FIL!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD1 is 2.5, DD2 is 6 weeks. In those short 6 weeks, we've hosted ILs twice, and I do mean "hosted."

I made coffee at 6 am for FIL. He drank the full pot except 1 cup for MIL and 1/2 cup for me.

At 7:30:

"DIL, we are out of coffee."
"Oh, there's more above the left-hand cabinet."
"No, I mean the pot is empty."
"Oh, please feel free to make more."
"I'll wait until you have another cup."
"I'm not planning to have more. Please feel free to make more. I'm off to nurse the baby!"

Just overheard him bitching to MIL about it.

Do I expressly state that I need adults to help, or AT LEAST be self-sufficient, or do you think he'll get the hint if I carry on as above? Up till now, I've catered to him, but I'm done. MIL will likely step up to help, as she always does so when asked.

Good for you! Carry on as above OP! Have boundaries and just keep saying help yourself I'm with the baby.

I'm tired.

[Anonymous]

We bought a Keurig. Just had the best visit ever with the inlaws.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We bought a Keurig. Just had the best visit ever with the inlaws.

+100
This should be a commercial for Keurig.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We bought a Keurig. Just had the best visit ever with the inlaws.

+100
This should be a commercial for Keurig.

So not the point. And by the way, the inventor of the Keurig regrets doing so because of the environmental waste.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We bought a Keurig. Just had the best visit ever with the inlaws.

+100
This should be a commercial for Keurig.

So not the point. And by the way, the inventor of the Keurig regrets doing so because of the environmental waste.

You know they have refillable pods, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We bought a Keurig. Just had the best visit ever with the inlaws.

+100
This should be a commercial for Keurig.

So not the point. And by the way, the inventor of the Keurig regrets doing so because of the environmental waste.

You know they have refillable pods, right?

You know there are already millions of non-refillable, non-recyclable pods in landfills, right?

[Anonymous]

OP here. I set up coffee last night with a note that says "ready, just press start!"

Then the note says if you want to make more, here's how...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I set up coffee last night with a note that says "ready, just press start!"

Then the note says if you want to make more, here's how...

Well played! Please update.

[Anonymous]

Well maybe he doesn't know how to make coffee with your coffee machine and you sound like a slightly strung out bitch. Six weeks isn't that big of a deal, according to the federal government in fact that is all you get for usable sick leave after having a vaginal birth. Maybe your FIL is a pill, but you could have handled it better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well maybe he doesn't know how to make coffee with your coffee machine and you sound like a slightly strung out bitch. Six weeks isn't that big of a deal, according to the federal government in fact that is all you get for usable sick leave after having a vaginal birth. Maybe your FIL is a pill, but you could have handled it better.

Wow. OPs GIL didn't have to bitch about it. He could have (a) been an adult and asked her to show him how to use the machine, (b) asked his wife how to use the machine, or even (c) asked his wife to make the coffee. For him to pressure her and grouse about it while OP has her hands full is absurd. I'm sure this is not the only example of FIL wanting to be served. I don't picture him offering to make dinner or offering to clear the plates and load the dishwasher. OP sounds fine. You sound a little crazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No more visits. I would not tolerate anyone treating me as a servant in my home. Especially in front of my daughters. And all the "proper hostess police" in here can stuff it-- just an excuse to be a doormat.

+1000

I think this is a strong indication not to have them over again until you're in a position to host (e.g., baby is older).

My FIL is the same way, but Asian in addition so he's actually even more obnoxious (think: planning his birthday lunch and then pouting because I wasn't willing to wake my jetlagged baby up from a nap to go to the restaurant but rather stayed behind and met them as soon as baby woke up). I call it "old man baby syndrome." They are seriously more helpless than newborns and it's gross. I never give in, probably in part because I have an awesome, supportive dad who has always helped when visiting after the birth of my kids!

Agree. My FIL is like this but worse and he is no longer invited. I was 40 pregnant with a 2yo and he still expected coffee made, hot breakfast made, etc. MIL can come but I cannot put up with him anymore!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I set up coffee last night with a note that says "ready, just press start!"

Then the note says if you want to make more, here's how...

Well played! Please update.

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You are awesome, OP. Handling this like a champ!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well maybe he doesn't know how to make coffee with your coffee machine and you sound like a slightly strung out bitch. Six weeks isn't that big of a deal, according to the federal government in fact that is all you get for usable sick leave after having a vaginal birth. Maybe your FIL is a pill, but you could have handled it better.

Wow. OPs GIL didn't have to bitch about it. He could have (a) been an adult and asked her to show him how to use the machine, (b) asked his wife how to use the machine, or even (c) asked his wife to make the coffee. For him to pressure her and grouse about it while OP has her hands full is absurd. I'm sure this is not the only example of FIL wanting to be served. I don't picture him offering to make dinner or offering to clear the plates and load the dishwasher. OP sounds fine. You sound a little crazy.

Uh, or HIS SON, OP'S HUSBAND could show him how. DIL and MIL only expected to help clueless FIL? Your gender stereotype expectations are showing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well maybe he doesn't know how to make coffee with your coffee machine and you sound like a slightly strung out bitch. Six weeks isn't that big of a deal, according to the federal government in fact that is all you get for usable sick leave after having a vaginal birth. Maybe your FIL is a pill, but you could have handled it better.

I had a C-section. And actually had to be read kitted for four days because of a bad infection.

It's a standard coffee maker, just like the one he manages to use at home. He also manages to figure out in-room coffee makers at hotels. So he is capable.

And it ain't just coffee. This man sits after dinner someone else prepared and doesn't even bother to help clear the table. His idea of "helping" with baby is to hold only if she is swaddled and sleeping, for 5 minutes max. So I'm starting to feel a little bitchy toward him, yeah. Your point?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well maybe he doesn't know how to make coffee with your coffee machine and you sound like a slightly strung out bitch. Six weeks isn't that big of a deal, according to the federal government in fact that is all you get for usable sick leave after having a vaginal birth. Maybe your FIL is a pill, but you could have handled it better.

I had a C-section. And actually had to be readmitted for four days because of a bad infection.

It's a standard coffee maker, just like the one he manages to use at home. He also manages to figure out in-room coffee makers at hotels. So he is capable.

And it ain't just coffee. This man sits after dinner someone else prepared and doesn't even bother to help clear the table. His idea of "helping" with baby is to hold only if she is swaddled and sleeping, for 5 minutes max. So I'm starting to feel a little bitchy toward him, yeah. Your point?