Do you ever worry that your child might not be "elite college material"?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Yes, I will be seriously disappointed if DS (now 12) is not accepted to a top 25 school. Or a top 10 school for his major, which is looking like it could be engineering. The very best engineering schools don't overlap neatly with absolute top 25.

I will love him just the same if he winds up at U. Wisconsin though. And he will have a nice life if that happens. But it's not wrong to strive for better.

U of Wisconsin isn't that easy to get into either you know.

It is for a certain profile. It's where the disappointed Sidwell parents send their mid-pack, affluent white kids with no hook, for example.

If you go to Sidwell and and up there--or Michigan, for that matter--ask yourself, why did I spend money for this crap?

Do you realize how ridiculous you sound referring to Michigan or Wisconsin as "crap?" If the only reason you send your kid to Sidwell is to win the elite college lottery you are missing the point of private school education.

And PP will be back in a few years when reality hits and she realizes that UWM or Michigan are in the running for her snowflake.

Wisconsin Alum here-- it is not UWM, it is UW, Wisconsin, or Madison. UWM is the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee. And, by the way, any of your kids would be lucky to go to Wisconsin. It is truly a life-changing university both socially and academically. And, it is where stem cells were first isolated and where numerous world changing discoveries and innovations that benefit all of us are found every day. So show a little f*&^ing respect.

I was actually saying the pp would be considering those schools for her kid one day but I guess UW didn't teach you reading comprehension. Must suck to carry that frozen chip on your shoulder. Sorry I don't know the naming convention of every middling university in bum fuck nowhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Generally white collar workers go to college and blue collar workers don't. There are some exceptions but it's often true. Also, white collar and blue collar people live in different neighborhoods, kids go to different schools and as a result they don't socialize together that much. It's not that surprising I wouldn't have friends without college degrees. I have a few family members who married "down" or just couldn't hack college.

Huh. My husband and I are both bookish, white-collar people with advanced degrees from good schools, but we also each have a sibling who didn't finish college and now works in a blue-collar job. For some people these worlds mix.

[Anonymous]

True for my DH and I as well!

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Yes, I will be seriously disappointed if DS (now 12) is not accepted to a top 25 school. Or a top 10 school for his major, which is looking like it could be engineering. The very best engineering schools don't overlap neatly with absolute top 25.

I will love him just the same if he winds up at U. Wisconsin though. And he will have a nice life if that happens. But it's not wrong to strive for better.

U of Wisconsin isn't that easy to get into either you know.

It is for a certain profile. It's where the disappointed Sidwell parents send their mid-pack, affluent white kids with no hook, for example.

If you go to Sidwell and and up there--or Michigan, for that matter--ask yourself, why did I spend money for this crap?

Do you realize how ridiculous you sound referring to Michigan or Wisconsin as "crap?" If the only reason you send your kid to Sidwell is to win the elite college lottery you are missing the point of private school education.

And PP will be back in a few years when reality hits and she realizes that UWM or Michigan are in the running for her snowflake.

Wisconsin Alum here-- it is not UWM, it is UW, Wisconsin, or Madison. UWM is the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee. And, by the way, any of your kids would be lucky to go to Wisconsin. It is truly a life-changing university both socially and academically. And, it is where stem cells were first isolated and where numerous world changing discoveries and innovations that benefit all of us are found every day. So show a little f*&^ing respect.

I was actually saying the pp would be considering those schools for her kid one day but I guess UW didn't teach you reading comprehension. Must suck to carry that frozen chip on your shoulder. Sorry I don't know the naming convention of every middling university in bum fuck nowhere.

Guess whatever overrated hallowed hall of learning you went to didn't teach you how to write clearly then. And, I have no chip on my shoulder. I went to one of the best universities in the world, certainly not "middling" and certainly not "in bum fuck nowhere." Sorry you are such an unhappy person. Maybe sucking on a lemon would help.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I will be seriously disappointed if DS (now 12) is not accepted to a top 25 school. Or a top 10 school for his major, which is looking like it could be engineering. The very best engineering schools don't overlap neatly with absolute top 25.

I will love him just the same if he winds up at U. Wisconsin though. And he will have a nice life if that happens. But it's not wrong to strive for better.

U of Wisconsin isn't that easy to get into either you know.

It is for a certain profile. It's where the disappointed Sidwell parents send their mid-pack, affluent white kids with no hook, for example.

If you go to Sidwell and and up there--or Michigan, for that matter--ask yourself, why did I spend money for this crap?

Do you realize how ridiculous you sound referring to Michigan or Wisconsin as "crap?" If the only reason you send your kid to Sidwell is to win the elite college lottery you are missing the point of private school education.

And PP will be back in a few years when reality hits and she realizes that UWM or Michigan are in the running for her snowflake.

Wisconsin Alum here-- it is not UWM, it is UW, Wisconsin, or Madison. UWM is the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee. And, by the way, any of your kids would be lucky to go to Wisconsin. It is truly a life-changing university both socially and academically. And, it is where stem cells were first isolated and where numerous world changing discoveries and innovations that benefit all of us are found every day. So show a little f*&^ing respect.

I was actually saying the pp would be considering those schools for her kid one day but I guess UW didn't teach you reading comprehension. Must suck to carry that frozen chip on your shoulder. Sorry I don't know the naming convention of every middling university in bum fuck nowhere.

Guess whatever overrated hallowed hall of learning you went to didn't teach you how to write clearly then. And, I have no chip on my shoulder. I went to one of the best universities in the world, certainly not "middling" and certainly not "in bum fuck nowhere." Sorry you are such an unhappy person. Maybe sucking on a lemon would help.

My aren't we defensive... Well, put on your rodent sweatshirt and cry because you had to defend your big state u degree.

[Anonymous]

It's a silly question. 98% of children will not be "Ivy material" but success comes in many forms. There isn't much reason to stake you or your child's worth on a "game" that guarantees a 98% figure rate.

There are plenty of small business people and sales-types that aren't school-smart but are incredibly savvy and earn a lot of money (easily 10x what I do). They may not like to discuss the nuances of international development policy or might not read literary fiction, but they are likely highly emotionally/socially intelligent.

We're not a particularly wealthy family, so many people would not consider us successful. But, we're a family that values working on things we think are socially valuable and we're willing to accept lower incomes to pursue what we want to do. We've got degrees from elite schools and a lifestyle that bolsters our child's intellectual development. And our priority has been to transmit our values and intellectual orientation to our child. Despite our modest income, DC has gone to selective private schools. So our DC has had many built in advantages from the start to get into an elite college. It doesn't mean DC is any better than anyone else, it just means DC has a set of advantages that few others have for the particularly narrow criteria that elite schools look for.

It's a lot lower...thing about how many kids from this area go to an ivy. Not many...there are just not a lot of slots and a lot of competition.

[Anonymous]

I think it also depends on exposure. My DS knows plenty of kids at ivy league schools from our neighborhood and his extra-curricular activities. So, I'm more in the boat, of yes, people do go to Harvard and the Academies, and they may seem like you - but even if you got in, I'm not paying for it (and husband strongly feels that a free education is not worth risking your life).

[Anonymous]

I work for a Fortune 500 corporation. Our CEO did not attend an "elite" school. Neither did any of the corporate VPs, with one exception (the general counsel). They all went to Big State Schools.

Plenty of my coworkers went to (gasp, horror) JMU, VA Tech, and GA Tech.

[Anonymous]

I read a statistic the other day that caused me to take notice. The top 50 colleges in the country combined have space for less than 1% of all US high school graduates (yes, this list includes University of Wisconsin and UMichigan). Access is reduced to less than 1% US grads when you also consider foreign students. These statistics are far more relevant than the "exclusivity" or selectively of a school as measured by percentage admits. What a luxury to look down our noses at schools like these when MOST on this planet can't even consider them as an option.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I read a statistic the other day that caused me to take notice. The top 50 colleges in the country combined have space for less than 1% of all US high school graduates (yes, this list includes University of Wisconsin and UMichigan). Access is reduced to less than 1% US grads when you also consider foreign students. These statistics are far more relevant than the "exclusivity" or selectively of a school as measured by percentage admits. What a luxury to look down our noses at schools like these when MOST on this planet can't even consider them as an option.

Similarly, the Ivy League schools together wouldn't have enough space for all the HS Valedictorians in the country. Entrance to those super-selective colleges is really essentially a lottery for the many extremely well-prepared HS students. Those who don't get in shouldn't feel like there was something wrong with them. They will be very successful wherever they do go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I read a statistic the other day that caused me to take notice. The top 50 colleges in the country combined have space for less than 1% of all US high school graduates (yes, this list includes University of Wisconsin and UMichigan). Access is reduced to less than 1% US grads when you also consider foreign students. These statistics are far more relevant than the "exclusivity" or selectively of a school as measured by percentage admits. What a luxury to look down our noses at schools like these when MOST on this planet can't even consider them as an option.

Similarly, the Ivy League schools together wouldn't have enough space for all the HS Valedictorians in the country. Entrance to those super-selective colleges is really essentially a lottery for the many extremely well-prepared HS students. Those who don't get in shouldn't feel like there was something wrong with them. They will be very successful wherever they do go.

+1 and +1. Entitlement begins at home.

[Anonymous]

LOL at this whole thread. I'm so glad I'm not an insecure dolt like all of you idiots.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If I'm honest I'd have to admit that I'm a bit of a college snob. Sh and I both went to Ivies and college reputation was important to me when sizing someone up professionally. Our first two children were exceptionally good students, earning their way into elite colleges, and I was very proud. What changed me was my third child with a learning disability. For the first time I had to confront my own college snobbery. She's not going to an elite college, and I realize now that it isn't that important. What mattered was finding a school were she could be happy and succeed on her own terms. These days I'm less smug about the college thing. I wish I'd been more open minded from the start.

My DH never finished college. It's incredibly common for people in our generation with his LD to never be diagnosed, do badly in school, and be successful in adulthood. If DC1 doesn't go to a good college, I know it will be because his disabilities are limiting him and I will be disappointed -- not in him but that life just isn't fair.

I wouldn't be shocked if DC2 ends up doing something completely out of the box that may or may not involve college but that kid somehow always lands on his feet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I read a statistic the other day that caused me to take notice. The top 50 colleges in the country combined have space for less than 1% of all US high school graduates (yes, this list includes University of Wisconsin and UMichigan). Access is reduced to less than 1% US grads when you also consider foreign students. These statistics are far more relevant than the "exclusivity" or selectively of a school as measured by percentage admits. What a luxury to look down our noses at schools like these when MOST on this planet can't even consider them as an option.

Wow! This puts it into perspective pretty well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I read a statistic the other day that caused me to take notice. The top 50 colleges in the country combined have space for less than 1% of all US high school graduates (yes, this list includes University of Wisconsin and UMichigan). Access is reduced to less than 1% US grads when you also consider foreign students. These statistics are far more relevant than the "exclusivity" or selectively of a school as measured by percentage admits. What a luxury to look down our noses at schools like these when MOST on this planet can't even consider them as an option.

Fuck "most on this planet". US colleges do not exist for them. US colleges exist for Americans.

These colleges are not an option for over 99% of Americans according to the statistic since they accomodate less than 1% of all US high school grads.