Do you ever worry that your child might not be "elite college material"?

[Anonymous]

Sometimes the elitism around here astounds me. The way people talk about their children's futures - like they're already on some secret list signed up for HYP. I want to say to them, do you realize how hard it is to get in there nowadays? You have to have perfect grades AND be completely amazing at some outside endeavor. Do you realize how few people can be both? Will you be seriously disappointed if your child is not accepted to a top 25 schools? Just curious.

[Anonymous]

The thought never crossed my mind.

[Anonymous]

Never ever.

The older I get I realize happiness with one's life is what matters most.

My sister and cousin have multiple businesses together. They both went to our state university. They do very well financially, work 40 hours mostly from home on their own schedule. My cousin is currently on an extended European vacation with her kids.

Elite colleges don't garuentee happiness.

[Anonymous]

Yes, I will be seriously disappointed if DS (now 12) is not accepted to a top 25 school. Or a top 10 school for his major, which is looking like it could be engineering. The very best engineering schools don't overlap neatly with absolute top 25.

I will love him just the same if he winds up at U. Wisconsin though. And he will have a nice life if that happens. But it's not wrong to strive for better.

[Anonymous]

No. I just want her to be better than me.

[Anonymous]

I bet there are some parents that would never admit, even to themselves, that they do indeed worry about this.

I don't. My DC wants to go to UMD, CS major, and I would be very happy if DC does, so would my bank account. But, even UMD for CS isn't that easy to get into.

[Anonymous]

Never worried about it. My family includes two Naval Academy grads, people with multiple grad degrees who began at community colleges, alums of famous HBCUs and SLACs so tiny you have never heard of, a West Point grad, alums of several Ivies and "public Ivies", and folks who went to the state U. We don't worry about where our young people go, but what they do when get there.

[Anonymous]

No. I worry that my DC will take after single sibs and never get married or have kids and live a life of loneliness.

Academics? Easy. Love? Difficult.

[Anonymous]

My child is definitely not elite college material and I'm not worried about it in the least. He's got an amazing personality and will do just fine in life. DH and I didn't go to elite colleges and we've managed to do quite well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I will be seriously disappointed if DS (now 12) is not accepted to a top 25 school. Or a top 10 school for his major, which is looking like it could be engineering. The very best engineering schools don't overlap neatly with absolute top 25.

I will love him just the same if he winds up at U. Wisconsin though. And he will have a nice life if that happens. But it's not wrong to strive for better.

Enjoy Virginia Tech.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Never worried about it. My family includes two Naval Academy grads, people with multiple grad degrees who began at community colleges, alums of famous HBCUs and SLACs so tiny you have never heard of, a West Point grad, alums of several Ivies and "public Ivies", and folks who went to the state U. We don't worry about where our young people go, but what they do when get there.

You clearly keep careful track, though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. I worry that my DC will take after single sibs and never get married or have kids and live a life of loneliness.

Academics? Easy. Love? Difficult.

You can be married with kids and lonely. Which you seem to be since you have nothing better to do that obsess over the love lives of your siblings.

[Anonymous]

I care deeply that my children go to college and I want very badly for them to develop passions. I hope they find a college that is the right place to nurture those passions, but we do not care a bit whether that is a top 25 school. In fact, I would prefer that they not strive for Harvard etc. The pressure isn't worth it. We want them to be happy and well-rounded, not stressed or anxious.

[Anonymous]

No. But then I don't put a lot of weight into "Elite" schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Never worried about it. My family includes two Naval Academy grads, people with multiple grad degrees who began at community colleges, alums of famous HBCUs and SLACs so tiny you have never heard of, a West Point grad, alums of several Ivies and "public Ivies", and folks who went to the state U. We don't worry about where our young people go, but what they do when get there.

You clearly keep careful track, though.

It's football season. FB keeps track for me.