Do you ever worry that your child might not be "elite college material"?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:So it's bad to be a "competitive, striver person" WTF?

Competitive and striving are two separate things. And yes, being competitive is old-fashioned and not particularly productive.

Old-fashioned? How so?

Oh wait - is this part of the current victimhood culture? got it.

So do you want PP to answer? I guess the snarky comment indicates that you don't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My two kids are in middle school and they already know they are going to state schools after high school. DH and I received fantastic educations at Maryland state schools and graduated with zero loans to pay off. DH was already working in his field at the time of graduation and I started my job the day after graduation.

In fact, I noticed early on that the graduates I worked with from the private schools lacked maturity and focus. It was an eye-opener for me because my classmates at UMBC were so much more mature and career ready upon graduation.

I think UMBC is a great school. No sense dismissing a whole cohort of people though. That's a very limited view of the world. That's as bad as saying that public university graduates are plodding dullards lacking in polish and social skills.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Yes, I will be seriously disappointed if DS (now 12) is not accepted to a top 25 school. Or a top 10 school for his major, which is looking like it could be engineering. The very best engineering schools don't overlap neatly with absolute top 25.

I will love him just the same if he winds up at U. Wisconsin though. And he will have a nice life if that happens. But it's not wrong to strive for better.

U of Wisconsin isn't that easy to get into either you know.

It is for a certain profile. It's where the disappointed Sidwell parents send their mid-pack, affluent white kids with no hook, for example.

If you go to Sidwell and and up there--or Michigan, for that matter--ask yourself, why did I spend money for this crap?

You provincial idiots can go bust on the University of Wisconsn all you like. The large number of billionaire Fortune 500 CEOs who went there can laugh about you and your cute little 500-800K HHI.

And the Wisconsin booster is out of the gate. He/she should spend some time with the UMD booster. Ugh.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Yes, I will be seriously disappointed if DS (now 12) is not accepted to a top 25 school. Or a top 10 school for his major, which is looking like it could be engineering. The very best engineering schools don't overlap neatly with absolute top 25.

I will love him just the same if he winds up at U. Wisconsin though. And he will have a nice life if that happens. But it's not wrong to strive for better.

U of Wisconsin isn't that easy to get into either you know.

It is for a certain profile. It's where the disappointed Sidwell parents send their mid-pack, affluent white kids with no hook, for example.

If you go to Sidwell and and up there--or Michigan, for that matter--ask yourself, why did I spend money for this crap?

Do you realize how ridiculous you sound referring to Michigan or Wisconsin as "crap?" If the only reason you send your kid to Sidwell is to win the elite college lottery you are missing the point of private school education.

And PP will be back in a few years when reality hits and she realizes that UWM or Michigan are in the running for her snowflake.

Wisconsin Alum here-- it is not UWM, it is UW, Wisconsin, or Madison. UWM is the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee. And, by the way, any of your kids would be lucky to go to Wisconsin. It is truly a life-changing university both socially and academically. And, it is where stem cells were first isolated and where numerous world changing discoveries and innovations that benefit all of us are found every day. So show a little f*&^ing respect.

You demand respect Wisconsin booster? No matter how much you stamp your foot, the world doesn't work that way. You really sound unhinged when you get so wound up about Wisconsin. Take it easy. Let the snark roll off your back. Wisconsin is a perfectly good university with many successful graduates.

[Anonymous]

I worry about it because I think my DS is smart enough but doesn't have the executive skills. No, I don't personally worry as if it has some bearing on me- I worry because I want my child to be happy and meet his potential.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My two kids are in middle school and they already know they are going to state schools after high school. DH and I received fantastic educations at Maryland state schools and graduated with zero loans to pay off. DH was already working in his field at the time of graduation and I started my job the day after graduation.

In fact, I noticed early on that the graduates I worked with from the private schools lacked maturity and focus. It was an eye-opener for me because my classmates at UMBC were so much more mature and career ready upon graduation.

I think UMBC is a great school. No sense dismissing a whole cohort of people though. That's a very limited view of the world. That's as bad as saying that public university graduates are plodding dullards lacking in polish and social skills.

I'm not dismissing anyone. It's just an observation I had when I started working in a full-time professional job. Others I worked with noticed it, too. There was an obvious difference between those who had gone to UMBC or UMD (and one Towson graduate), and those who went to private colleges. Looking back, it may have been an SES difference more than which school provided the education but it was clear that some of us were taking our work much more seriously and others were more motivated by happy hour and goofing off at work. Their moms were still packing their lunches and waking them up every morning. You better believe that I will not be doing that for my 20-something children.

[Anonymous]

I think worrying about this type of thing requires a combination of insecurities and inflated ego which I just don't have. I was an excellent student who went to a crappy high school and a big state U. I'm content with where I am career-wise in a low-stress, fairly well-paying field. I never felt that I was "elite college material" and I know that my kids aren't. I was in a lower-middle class family and I was grateful to be able to afford a public university. I want my kids to realize that they are fortunate to have the ability and means to go to decent schools. They don't have to be the best to be happy and productive adults.