Do you ever worry that your child might not be "elite college material"?

[Anonymous]

Never. I went to average public schools and second tier state college in the south. I am honestly very happy and successful by DCUM metrics (money, nice house Etc). Why? Because my parents didn't coddle me, they let me fail and figure most things out on my own. I learned how to hustle. Happiness comes from kNowing you can take care of yourself. Not sure you learn that an Ivy.or any college for that matter.

[Anonymous]

Q: Do you ever worry that your child might not be "elite college material"?

A. No, as I know my child will not choose an elite college, which is just fine with me.

[Anonymous]

Yes, I would prefer they go to highly selective colleges, but I realize how hard they are to get into and even if my DC are getting excellent grades it may not happen. I also don't tell them. They will apply to 2-3 reaches (top 10-20), 2-3 mid level and 2-3 safeties. I want them to be equally excited about the safeties. Also, if they do get into a top private I don't know how we will pay for it.

[Anonymous]

No, I do not. I went to one of those HYP schools myself, and while I loved much about the experience, there were struggles too that wouldn't have existed at another school. I would prefer my kids go to academically strong schools but not HYP if I had my say -- for the sake of their own happiness. As for their career prospects, they'll be fine. I found after graduation that my HYP degree is really no more valuable than a degree from U of Michigan, Wesleyan, UVA or the like.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I would prefer they go to highly selective colleges, but I realize how hard they are to get into and even if my DC are getting excellent grades it may not happen. I also don't tell them. They will apply to 2-3 reaches (top 10-20), 2-3 mid level and 2-3 safeties. I want them to be equally excited about the safeties. Also, if they do get into a top private I don't know how we will pay for it.

Why would you let them even apply if you can't afford it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. I worry that my DC will take after single sibs and never get married or have kids and live a life of loneliness.

Academics? Easy. Love? Difficult.

Remaining single and child free does not necessarily equate to lifelong loneliness

[Anonymous]

lol. I went to the University of Baltimore. That's nowhere on any top list, of any sort. I'm not the wealthiest in this area, by far, but I make well into six figures at a 40 hour a week job, with tons of leave. So I have tons of flexibility to live life. I get to travel. I have an interesting group of friends. I can send my kid to private school. And I'm "happy."

So, no, I don't need my son to get into a top 25 school of any sort. My greatest wish is that he finds a passion for a life-long career, and to that end, he finds a school that fits him educationally and socially.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes the elitism around here astounds me. The way people talk about their children's futures - like they're already on some secret list signed up for HYP. I want to say to them, do you realize how hard it is to get in there nowadays? You have to have perfect grades AND be completely amazing at some outside endeavor. Do you realize how few people can be both? Will you be seriously disappointed if your child is not accepted to a top 25 schools? Just curious.

Actually, I have been increasingly worried that he might be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I will be seriously disappointed if DS (now 12) is not accepted to a top 25 school. Or a top 10 school for his major, which is looking like it could be engineering. The very best engineering schools don't overlap neatly with absolute top 25.

I will love him just the same if he winds up at U. Wisconsin though. And he will have a nice life if that happens. But it's not wrong to strive for better.

You engineer families are all the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I will be seriously disappointed if DS (now 12) is not accepted to a top 25 school. Or a top 10 school for his major, which is looking like it could be engineering. The very best engineering schools don't overlap neatly with absolute top 25.

I will love him just the same if he winds up at U. Wisconsin though. And he will have a nice life if that happens. But it's not wrong to strive for better.

U of Wisconsin isn't that easy to get into either you know.

[Anonymous]

No at all. I did go to elite schools, though.

[Anonymous]

I do hope for the best for my children and have always assumed they would do better than me (top 20). But now I just hope they are happy and fulfilled. Doesn't have to mean top 10 school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I bet there are some parents that would never admit, even to themselves, that they do indeed worry about this.

I don't. My DC wants to go to UMD, CS major, and I would be very happy if DC does, so would my bank account. But, even UMD for CS isn't that easy to get into.

Maryland is top 10-15 in CS for PhDs!

[Anonymous]

I feel like taking my DD's college fund and buying her a Hardee's franchise or a gas station instead of a college degree is the surer path to financial success, judging by the actual rich people I know.

[Anonymous]

I worry about affording college....any college.