Dating/marrying outside of your social class?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:17:02. You both sound like people with whom I would like to sit at a dinner party.

You are a hilarious try-hard. Everyone knows that prepositions shouldn't technically go at the end of sentences. But you just can't use "with whom" and not sound like douchebag. Welcome to 2015.

PP again. You have to be clever and work around it. Say something like "I'd be happy to sit next to either of you at a dinner party."

You simply can't use "with whom" in conversation or casual writing anymore than you can use "thou." It's just as bad as a louis vuitton bag. Puke.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:17:02. You both sound like people with whom I would like to sit at a dinner party.

You are a hilarious try-hard. Everyone knows that prepositions shouldn't technically go at the end of sentences. But you just can't use "with whom" and not sound like douchebag. Welcome to 2015.

NP. You sound off. Proper grammar shouldn't upset any normal person this much. Please have your meds adjusted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:17:02. You both sound like people with whom I would like to sit at a dinner party.

You are a hilarious try-hard. Everyone knows that prepositions shouldn't technically go at the end of sentences. But you just can't use "with whom" and not sound like douchebag. Welcome to 2015.

NP. You sound off. Proper grammar shouldn't upset any normal person this much. Please have your meds adjusted.

I'm good, thanks for the concern though.

I got "upset" because the person in question was trying to kiss the ass of a self-proclaimed upper class person, which is just hilarious. Pretension like that disgusts me (and makes me laugh), and so I decided to comment

[Anonymous]

I grew up solidly middle class (daughter of a teacher and secretary). DH is upper class. Occasionally we have disagreements because DH was a child of privilege and can't understand the importance of- let's say- govt student loans.

What my parents did was to bend over backward to provide opportunities for my brother and me. Helping put us through college (we all took loans), study abroad programs etc. Through these opportunity I've made important connections including marrying my husband (who btw can't fix a friggin thing!)

I have the utmost respect for any man or woman who works hard. I'm of the Mike Rowe mentality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was wondering how often this happens? I know of two coworkers who are married to blue collar men. I was surprised when I found out. Felt a little sorry for them like the had to settle, but they are both pretty charming smart and nice. I immediately rule on guys based on education and or profession. I just didn't think differences like that could work. Am I wrong?

I bet their sex life is great.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I grew up solidly middle class (daughter of a teacher and secretary). DH is upper class. Occasionally we have disagreements because DH was a child of privilege and can't understand the importance of- let's say- govt student loans.

What my parents did was to bend over backward to provide opportunities for my brother and me. Helping put us through college (we all took loans), study abroad programs etc. Through these opportunity I've made important connections including marrying my husband (who btw can't fix a friggin thing!)

I have the utmost respect for any man or woman who works hard. I'm of the Mike Rowe mentality.

Marrying a rich guy is an "important connection"? Was that your parents plan all along?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents grew up poor, reached lower MC, ran into financial trouble under Reagan and I grew up painfully poor with MC values. Worked from age 12. Sometimes multiple jobs. Went to college, grad school. Married an UMC guy who was supported by Mommy while he figured out life. Divorced. Met and am about to marry a guy whose parents were working class/lower MC aspirant. He's a vet, has two advanced degrees. We're able to code switch between being down to earth practical problem solvers and being intellectually stimulating. It's the best of both worlds.

Under Reagan? They survived Carter fine, but ran aground under Reagan? So dad was an air traffic controller?

Pretty close guess.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had a friend long ago that was an executive secretary for a well known lawyer. She was not snobby in the least, very educated put together but down to Earth girl. Her boss, happens to be my cousin, introduced her to his friend, a janitor.

My friend fell in love with her janitor boyfriend and they married. After they married he told her he OWNED the buildings he cleaned.

Twenty eight years on, they are still married and he still cleans his own buildings. Nothing about him says money. He's fun to be around.

This sounds like urban legend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was wondering how often this happens? I know of two coworkers who are married to blue collar men. I was surprised when I found out. Felt a little sorry for them like the had to settle, but they are both pretty charming smart and nice. I immediately rule on guys based on education and or profession. I just didn't think differences like that could work. Am I wrong?

Jesus was a carpenter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've seen these marriages too, several girlfriends of mine married blue collar guys (lawyer friend married a plumber).
You know what? Everything was great until they had kids. Then totally different approaches caused friction. They disagree on what to spend $ on, if they should move for better schools, if OT therapy for one kid is a waste, even what kind of food is good. It's like they are from different cultures. The worst guy has a chip on his shoulder about college education, resentful of people with it, doesn't value education for his kids. He's obviously just insecure around his wife's friends, but I feel bad for his kids. He is hampering their opportunities. Wife goes along with it to keep the peace, like they didn't apply to
Immersion programs because he thinks they are elitist. Instead they send DD to one of the worst elementary schools around. He talks big about supporting our local schools to justify it. So lame.

Yeah, supporting access to quality education for all kids is so lame. Practically un-American!

[Anonymous]

This is us. I've discussed it before. He comes from an upper middle class family, I grew up dirt poor ( think no running water sometimes). My background embarassed me, but he doesn't seem to care. The awkwardness comes when he takes me places. I feel insecure that everyone knows I'm not like them. My Grammar isn't the best, but I'm working on it. His family and friends talk about things that I am clueless on. It makes me feel stupid. I tend to be loud when I'm excited, and sometimes inappropriate. I am a pretty good conversationalist, and he loves me.

[Anonymous]

I have a graduate degree and have a career in finance. My DH has a blue collar job and can fix any and everything. He has strong calloused hands and is incredibly sexy. He is kind and has a good sense of humor. He is a great father. I was engaged before to a guy with a trust fund, but there wasn't much passion. I think I made a good decision.

I'd encourage my DD to marry someone like her dad. In this day and age, women can earn a high income and don't have to "marry up" to have a good life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is us. I've discussed it before. He comes from an upper middle class family, I grew up dirt poor ( think no running water sometimes). My background embarassed me, but he doesn't seem to care. The awkwardness comes when he takes me places. I feel insecure that everyone knows I'm not like them. My Grammar isn't the best, but I'm working on it. His family and friends talk about things that I am clueless on. It makes me feel stupid. I tend to be loud when I'm excited, and sometimes inappropriate. I am a pretty good conversationalist, and he loves me.

Like what? It sounds like DH has pretty damn boring relatives and friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is us. I've discussed it before. He comes from an upper middle class family, I grew up dirt poor ( think no running water sometimes). My background embarassed me, but he doesn't seem to care. The awkwardness comes when he takes me places. I feel insecure that everyone knows I'm not like them. My Grammar isn't the best, but I'm working on it. His family and friends talk about things that I am clueless on. It makes me feel stupid. I tend to be loud when I'm excited, and sometimes inappropriate. I am a pretty good conversationalist, and he loves me.

Like what? It sounds like DH has pretty damn boring relatives and friends.

Not the PP you quoted, but for my boyfriend, when friends and I talk about travels abroad, time spent at college, work, and child-rearing concerns, just to name a few topics. If you're with someone who hasn't had the same life experiences and doesn't have the same concerns regarding raising children, it can be awkward to try to participate in these conversations. For instance, my boyfriend cannot comprehend why people would move for the sake of a better school system or neighborhood or nicer house. My friends and I and those I grew up with cannot comprehend a person who does not want to give all advantages to their child that they can.

Think about when you're around people who work for government agencies. If you're not a part of that acronym world, you're completely lost in that conversation. Now, imagine that happening in a variety of situations, where you don't understand what they're talking about because you have zero experience with the topic of discussion.

[Anonymous]

Men seem more than likely to marry lower class women. One of my DH's best friends recently married a gorgeous but lower class girl. She's model-beautiful and very sweet and adores her husband but his extended family can't help but laugh and mock her LC family.

We were a their apartment for a party the other day and we were talking about how cute their place was. One of my DH's friends afterwards made a comment about how it was so trashy that she had blown up and put up lots of pinterest-y quotes all over the place and hwo tacky that was.

I was horrified! I wonder how hard it is for people in cross-class marriages. I wonder how she feels around her husbands friends and family. People can be cruel.