Anyone divorce your spouse just because of lack of sex?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: I continually wonder how you people would respond if you were paralyzed or something but your low libido spouse stood by you and loved and cared for you even though sex was no longer part of the equation. Or how you would handle it if it was reversed and they physically were just unable to provide that to you. Would you walk away because they couldn't put out enough?

That different than choosing to deprive your spouse of affection.

And once again what you all see as choosing to deprive you of affection is usually a deeper more complicated situation. Affection isn't always something a person can turn on and off like a faucet. When a relationship is healthy in all of its aspects, the affection comes naturally, when some part of the relationship is sick, the affection might suffer as a result.

I'm not saying there aren't situations where a spouse simply cruelly and randomly decides they are no longer interested in their spouse. Just simply that it seems more likely that there are a lot more relationships that could use some work then manipulative sociopathic spouses that suddenly decide that they want to hurt their SO. Its easier of course to write them off as the latter but it just seems more realistic that at least some of you are more in the former category.

i understand that, and that may be what happens some of the time. It is probably a first sign that there is a problem, unless you have a petty spouse who uses sex as a control tactic. Some people cheat when they're having relationship troubles. Some people yell and throw things when they feel like the relationship is slipping. None of those are reasonable ways to treat your spouse because you're angry.

I don't know about you but I would have no interest in having sex with my DH if he was angry with me or if he was unhappy in the relationship. Sex with someone who is just going through the motions is not enjoyable (to me at least). And equating being uninterested in sex (which in the scenarios I'm describing at least is a physiological thing not a malicious thing) with throwing things or cheating is, IMO, insane. Those are things a person can control! Now the sociopathic spouse that is holding back because her DH didn't buy her Tiffany's ring? Sure, I guess that could be the same category.

You don't see withholding sex for years and aborting efforts to repair the situation as malicious?

I think I'd need to hear the other side of the equation before determining malice or unhappiness in that case.

So why not get a divorce if you're so unhappy with your spouse that you can't sleep with him or her?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Married Male for over 30 yrs.

Some of you don't think I tried communicating a million times with my low libido wife !!!!!!!!!!

She doesn't put the blame on anything, never has. She has never once , ever, ever, told me why she won't have sex with me. Never once gave an explanation, just simply said no. End of story. No conversation about it AT. All. She agreed to go to a sex therapist with me years ago. First time there and the Therapists realized she needed some extra attention. She went one time solo and then refused to ever go back.


I come here to vent. Others come here to vent. Leave us poor SOBs alone and let us vent. Many of you have NO fricken idea how hard it is on us. Some of us need to vent or "whine" as you say. Many of us are not going to divorce our SO over lack of sex only. If there were other things going on, then yes, I would divorce her. Meanwhile, please let me vent.

Go jerk off and stop whining. It's so goddam unattractive, maybe that's why she won't fuck you.

Says somebody who doesn't like sex.

Whatever you have to say to rationalize...

Huh? You make no sense. Anybody who likes sex would never tell somebody whose spouse is rejecting them sexually to stop whining and go masturbate. Only people who don't like sex will think and sex between two people is unimportant.

Not the PP you are responding to but like, this entire exchange is stupid. I like sex but can think of scenarios where I would not be into it and if my DH threw a tantrum about it I would feel like he should stop whining and go take care of it himself. You can not want to have sex for a given period of time AND still like sex. Humans are complicated, which is why these conversations are so annoying and reductive. You make it JUST about sex when its almost always about more than sex.

I continually wonder how you people would respond if you were paralyzed or something but your low libido spouse stood by you and loved and cared for you even though sex was no longer part of the equation. Or how you would handle it if it was reversed and they physically were just unable to provide that to you. Would you walk away because they couldn't put out enough?

x2.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP, I am hot. If you saw me, you'd think my DH was the luckiest guy alive. I am hot and sexy! I've been told I look like SJP and Tamara from the OC. I have natural large tits, that many a man has sucked on. I have a super tight pussy that I keep bare. I love sex. BUT...my DH has zero drive. I think he's always been intimidated by my hotness. Guys send me drinks when I am out with him. It makes him crazy mad.

I am not model-type, as I am too short, but am a size 4. I'm no longer a 1, like I was in my 20s and 30s, but men can smell sex and I have a sexy smell to me.

Reality is, my DH has no drive, has ED, and ignores me as a result. I dress in a way that exentuates my tatas and my legs. I've always had thigh gap - and I've never worked out. And, I do have a post-baby tummy, thus my size 4.

I am not trying to brag or say I'm better. But, believe me, PP, your DH cranes his neck to see me when you are out and about as a couple.

My DH and I went to dinner the other week. I was giving him my full attnetion, but noticed he was not to me. So, I scoped the area, and had eye contact with all 4 guys at one table. Funny thing, their SOs were the ones facing me. These guys were turning around to check out me. I was the only blonde, large-tits, blue-eyes in the place. So, I am sure that helped. But, they did this all night long - about 1 - 1.5 hours that I was there.

SO, guess what, PP. I am hotter and sexier than you may decide to dine at your table next table. You should be nicer.

Bahahaha. You have a face like SARAH JESSICA PARKER?

Is this you, PP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP, I am hot. If you saw me, you'd think my DH was the luckiest guy alive. I am hot and sexy! I've been told I look like SJP and Tamara from the OC. I have natural large tits, that many a man has sucked on. I have a super tight pussy that I keep bare. I love sex. BUT...my DH has zero drive. I think he's always been intimidated by my hotness. Guys send me drinks when I am out with him. It makes him crazy mad.

I am not model-type, as I am too short, but am a size 4. I'm no longer a 1, like I was in my 20s and 30s, but men can smell sex and I have a sexy smell to me.

Reality is, my DH has no drive, has ED, and ignores me as a result. I dress in a way that exentuates my tatas and my legs. I've always had thigh gap - and I've never worked out. And, I do have a post-baby tummy, thus my size 4.

I am not trying to brag or say I'm better. But, believe me, PP, your DH cranes his neck to see me when you are out and about as a couple.

My DH and I went to dinner the other week. I was giving him my full attnetion, but noticed he was not to me. So, I scoped the area, and had eye contact with all 4 guys at one table. Funny thing, their SOs were the ones facing me. These guys were turning around to check out me. I was the only blonde, large-tits, blue-eyes in the place. So, I am sure that helped. But, they did this all night long - about 1 - 1.5 hours that I was there.

SO, guess what, PP. I am hotter and sexier than you may decide to dine at your table next table. You should be nicer.

And I guarantee you're not. I'm 25, a size 2, taller than you, and I get told I look like Isla Fisher and Amy Adams. Objectively, by any standards, a hell of a lot hotter than fucking Tamra Barney and Sarah Jessica Parker (who- by the way- is famously ugly- maybe people were trying to insult you when they compared you two? Sorry )

[Anonymous]

I believe the correct citation is:

http://sarahjessicaparkerlookslikeahorse.com

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP, I am hot. If you saw me, you'd think my DH was the luckiest guy alive. I am hot and sexy! I've been told I look like SJP and Tamara from the OC. I have natural large tits, that many a man has sucked on. I have a super tight pussy that I keep bare. I love sex. BUT...my DH has zero drive. I think he's always been intimidated by my hotness. Guys send me drinks when I am out with him. It makes him crazy mad.

I am not model-type, as I am too short, but am a size 4. I'm no longer a 1, like I was in my 20s and 30s, but men can smell sex and I have a sexy smell to me.

Reality is, my DH has no drive, has ED, and ignores me as a result. I dress in a way that exentuates my tatas and my legs. I've always had thigh gap - and I've never worked out. And, I do have a post-baby tummy, thus my size 4.

I am not trying to brag or say I'm better. But, believe me, PP, your DH cranes his neck to see me when you are out and about as a couple.

My DH and I went to dinner the other week. I was giving him my full attnetion, but noticed he was not to me. So, I scoped the area, and had eye contact with all 4 guys at one table. Funny thing, their SOs were the ones facing me. These guys were turning around to check out me. I was the only blonde, large-tits, blue-eyes in the place. So, I am sure that helped. But, they did this all night long - about 1 - 1.5 hours that I was there.

SO, guess what, PP. I am hotter and sexier than you may decide to dine at your table next table. You should be nicer.

And I guarantee you're not. I'm 25, a size 2, taller than you, and I get told I look like Isla Fisher and Amy Adams. Objectively, by any standards, a hell of a lot hotter than fucking Tamra Barney and Sarah Jessica Parker (who- by the way- is famously ugly- maybe people were trying to insult you when they compared you two? Sorry )

You both sound gorgeous and confident. If your partners are unresponsive and withholding, it hurts. Period. It's all the more frustrating and brutal because you see the attention you get from other men. I can completely understand how awful this must be. I've been appreciated by lovers and partners, while nowhere near your objective (socially-constructed, normative) hotness. I cannot imagine how...what a gut punch it must be to have the man you chose to build a life with shut down on the intimacy of your marriage. How about we agree on that?

Sharing pain should never result in more pain being piled on. Come on!

My XH enjoyed our sex life, but never valued me as a partner. I remember looking around the room and seeing other couples. It hurt to see "difficult" women being catered to by their husbands in light of my own husband's disregard for me. I was a "good wife" to him. In his eyes, I always fell short. I hope I am afforded the empathy I'm due since this is a site for (when it is at its best) information and support. I certainly hope that each of you two PPs can get past whatever it is that has you snapping at each other and see the pain of the situation. Hot or decidedly not hot, the pain a woman (any person!) feels when left alone in a marriage should be respected. Can we please move on from this?

[Anonymous]

I think I'd need to hear the other side of the equation before determining malice or unhappiness in that case.

Do you think there's a good enough reason to not speak to your spouse for a few years?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I think I'd need to hear the other side of the equation before determining malice or unhappiness in that case.

Do you think there's a good enough reason to not speak to your spouse for a few years?

Lol the tone of this post and the other pp is what makes me less sympathetic to you. You seem to just want to be a victim. Why on earth would you stay married to someone who hadn't spoken to you for years? Of course that extreme situation is terrible. But you want to reduce the spouse to someone who just "won't talk" "won't have sex" "won't give affection." No speculating why, no acknowledgement of how you might have contributed to the situation or at least passively contributed to the neglect of the relationship. Reducing any human behavior as you have is just not reflective of what humans and relationships are. Unless of course you're the unfortunate random person who married a crazy sociopath.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I think I'd need to hear the other side of the equation before determining malice or unhappiness in that case.

Do you think there's a good enough reason to not speak to your spouse for a few years?

Lol the tone of this post and the other pp is what makes me less sympathetic to you. You seem to just want to be a victim. Why on earth would you stay married to someone who hadn't spoken to you for years? Of course that extreme situation is terrible. But you want to reduce the spouse to someone who just "won't talk" "won't have sex" "won't give affection." No speculating why, no acknowledgement of how you might have contributed to the situation or at least passively contributed to the neglect of the relationship. Reducing any human behavior as you have is just not reflective of what humans and relationships are. Unless of course you're the unfortunate random person who married a crazy sociopath.

I think the point went over your head. There's no reason to stay married in those cases. It's never ok to do either to your spouse. There's nothing that justifies it. It is grounds for divorce.

[Anonymous]

DWs who go without need to post pics, especially if they brag about how hot they are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP, I am hot. If you saw me, you'd think my DH was the luckiest guy alive. I am hot and sexy! I've been told I look like SJP and Tamara from the OC. I have natural large tits, that many a man has sucked on. I have a super tight pussy that I keep bare. I love sex. BUT...my DH has zero drive. I think he's always been intimidated by my hotness. Guys send me drinks when I am out with him. It makes him crazy mad.

I am not model-type, as I am too short, but am a size 4. I'm no longer a 1, like I was in my 20s and 30s, but men can smell sex and I have a sexy smell to me.

Reality is, my DH has no drive, has ED, and ignores me as a result. I dress in a way that exentuates my tatas and my legs. I've always had thigh gap - and I've never worked out. And, I do have a post-baby tummy, thus my size 4.

I am not trying to brag or say I'm better. But, believe me, PP, your DH cranes his neck to see me when you are out and about as a couple.

My DH and I went to dinner the other week. I was giving him my full attnetion, but noticed he was not to me. So, I scoped the area, and had eye contact with all 4 guys at one table. Funny thing, their SOs were the ones facing me. These guys were turning around to check out me. I was the only blonde, large-tits, blue-eyes in the place. So, I am sure that helped. But, they did this all night long - about 1 - 1.5 hours that I was there.

SO, guess what, PP. I am hotter and sexier than you may decide to dine at your table next table. You should be nicer.

And I guarantee you're not. I'm 25, a size 2, taller than you, and I get told I look like Isla Fisher and Amy Adams. Objectively, by any standards, a hell of a lot hotter than fucking Tamra Barney and Sarah Jessica Parker (who- by the way- is famously ugly- maybe people were trying to insult you when they compared you two? Sorry )

You both sound gorgeous and confident. If your partners are unresponsive and withholding, it hurts. Period. It's all the more frustrating and brutal because you see the attention you get from other men. I can completely understand how awful this must be. I've been appreciated by lovers and partners, while nowhere near your objective (socially-constructed, normative) hotness. I cannot imagine how...what a gut punch it must be to have the man you chose to build a life with shut down on the intimacy of your marriage. How about we agree on that?

Sharing pain should never result in more pain being piled on. Come on!

My XH enjoyed our sex life, but never valued me as a partner. I remember looking around the room and seeing other couples. It hurt to see "difficult" women being catered to by their husbands in light of my own husband's disregard for me. I was a "good wife" to him. In his eyes, I always fell short. I hope I am afforded the empathy I'm due since this is a site for (when it is at its best) information and support. I certainly hope that each of you two PPs can get past whatever it is that has you snapping at each other and see the pain of the situation. Hot or decidedly not hot, the pain a woman (any person!) feels when left alone in a marriage should be respected. Can we please move on from this?

Thank you for posting this. There is nothing more ugly than posters tearing down women whose husbands abandon them sexually by implying they are being abandoned because they are ugly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Thank you for posting this. There is nothing more ugly than posters tearing down women whose husbands abandon them sexually by implying they are being abandoned because they are ugly.

Also ugly: the posts where it is implied that the wives who abandon their husbands sexually are probably doing so because the husbands are lazy.