Anyone divorce your spouse just because of lack of sex?

[Anonymous]

Seems to be a major theme on DCUM and in real life that in many marriages there are different sex drives. Has anyone divorced solely because of the diifferent sex drives? Or was it just a sign of a larger problem? Did you have kids?

[Anonymous]

No.

[Anonymous]

Not planning to while the kids are young. Staying in shape and advancing my career and will reevaluate when they are older.

[Anonymous]

We came to the very brink of divorce, but seeing my (figuratively speaking) "tail lights in the driveway" was exactly the wakeup call she needed to "find" her lost libido.
Yes, I would have gone through with it.
Life is too short for forced celibacy.

[Anonymous]

You have to realize that there is not such thing as divorcing purely due to lack of sex.

Few couples have exactly the same libido, all the time. If your relationship was healthy, you would be able to work out some kind of compromise that you could live with. If you can't do this, that's an emotional/relationship issue, not purely a sex issue.

[Anonymous]

I have not divorced but think of it daily. Logistics make it tough so playing the waiting game. Have not had sex in five years. I have asked to go to counseling but she refuses. Minimizes impact - tells me that I make a big deal out of not having sex. So, as others have suggested I am working on myself. Will likely start to go see someone (counseling) by myself just to deal with resulting anger issues.

I know I have stopped being a nurturing spouse. She will want to talk about her day, vent about work, have me help her get her car serviced and frankly I couldn't give a shit at this point. But I cannot say that I have divorced but I will not choice to live the rest of my life this way and I am making financial and personal plans to ensure separation.

I have told her that I view the withholding of all physical affection as a violation of her vows. It doesn't seem to sink in; when I tell her we need to go to counseling in order to avoid divorce it doesn't sink in; in our marriage she has often refused to discuss things so that she can say "we never talked about that" but in my kinder moments perhaps she is just wired differently, that we both need to recognize that, and plan accordingly.

I need to be careful though because I do find I get very angry and need to watch my tongue in front of the kids.

In my case it is the nastiest form of passive aggressive behavior I have ever experienced. And I think she will be genuinely surprised and saddened when I file but that's not a marriage. Well, then again, I realize now that for alot of women, marriage is a financial contract.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You have to realize that there is not such thing as divorcing purely due to lack of sex.

Few couples have exactly the same libido, all the time. If your relationship was healthy, you would be able to work out some kind of compromise that you could live with. If you can't do this, that's an emotional/relationship issue, not purely a sex issue.

Just like there are no gays in Iran, right?

It only takes one partner to sicken a relationship. A spouse's unilateral refusal to have sex or even attempt to compromise on frequency is going to cause a problem. Likewise, a spouse's refusal to understand that a mom/dad that works, has small kids, etc., won't be able to do it like they do on the Playboy Channel twice a day.

[Anonymous]

*finish: is also going to be problematic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have not divorced but think of it daily. Logistics make it tough so playing the waiting game. Have not had sex in five years. I have asked to go to counseling but she refuses. Minimizes impact - tells me that I make a big deal out of not having sex. So, as others have suggested I am working on myself. Will likely start to go see someone (counseling) by myself just to deal with resulting anger issues.

I know I have stopped being a nurturing spouse. She will want to talk about her day, vent about work, have me help her get her car serviced and frankly I couldn't give a shit at this point. But I cannot say that I have divorced but I will not choice to live the rest of my life this way and I am making financial and personal plans to ensure separation.

I have told her that I view the withholding of all physical affection as a violation of her vows. It doesn't seem to sink in; when I tell her we need to go to counseling in order to avoid divorce it doesn't sink in; in our marriage she has often refused to discuss things so that she can say "we never talked about that" but in my kinder moments perhaps she is just wired differently, that we both need to recognize that, and plan accordingly.

I need to be careful though because I do find I get very angry and need to watch my tongue in front of the kids.

In my case it is the nastiest form of passive aggressive behavior I have ever experienced. And I think she will be genuinely surprised and saddened when I file but that's not a marriage. Well, then again, I realize now that for alot of women, marriage is a financial contract.

Oh my god. I need to show this to my husband, who turns into a jerk after 2 weeks. Five years? Nothing? I hear people throw around the term "sexless marriage" but I had no idea people actually went this long. What does she say? Does she give a reason or has she been saying she's not in the mood for five years? Sorry to be so blunt, but I'm shocked by this. That is not a marriage. Is there any intimacy or affection at all? Do you cuddle or spoon at all? I hope you guys find some sort of solution. You shouldn't have to be in a marriage with that sort of refusal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have not divorced but think of it daily. Logistics make it tough so playing the waiting game. Have not had sex in five years. I have asked to go to counseling but she refuses. Minimizes impact - tells me that I make a big deal out of not having sex. So, as others have suggested I am working on myself. Will likely start to go see someone (counseling) by myself just to deal with resulting anger issues.

I know I have stopped being a nurturing spouse. She will want to talk about her day, vent about work, have me help her get her car serviced and frankly I couldn't give a shit at this point. But I cannot say that I have divorced but I will not choice to live the rest of my life this way and I am making financial and personal plans to ensure separation.

I have told her that I view the withholding of all physical affection as a violation of her vows. It doesn't seem to sink in; when I tell her we need to go to counseling in order to avoid divorce it doesn't sink in; in our marriage she has often refused to discuss things so that she can say "we never talked about that" but in my kinder moments perhaps she is just wired differently, that we both need to recognize that, and plan accordingly.

I need to be careful though because I do find I get very angry and need to watch my tongue in front of the kids.

In my case it is the nastiest form of passive aggressive behavior I have ever experienced. And I think she will be genuinely surprised and saddened when I file but that's not a marriage. Well, then again, I realize now that for alot of women, marriage is a financial contract.

Oh my god. I need to show this to my husband, who turns into a jerk after 2 weeks. Five years? Nothing? I hear people throw around the term "sexless marriage" but I had no idea people actually went this long. What does she say? Does she give a reason or has she been saying she's not in the mood for five years? Sorry to be so blunt, but I'm shocked by this. That is not a marriage. Is there any intimacy or affection at all? Do you cuddle or spoon at all? I hope you guys find some sort of solution. You shouldn't have to be in a marriage with that sort of refusal.

No you do not need to show this to your husband. Just because one marriage has a five year period without sex doesn't mean that your marriage is fine because the frequency isn't as bad as PP. If your husband says two weeks is his max, believe him. Every marriage is different and your husband has already opened up discussions for the lack of frequency he will tolerate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have not divorced but think of it daily. Logistics make it tough so playing the waiting game. Have not had sex in five years. I have asked to go to counseling but she refuses. Minimizes impact - tells me that I make a big deal out of not having sex. So, as others have suggested I am working on myself. Will likely start to go see someone (counseling) by myself just to deal with resulting anger issues.

I know I have stopped being a nurturing spouse. She will want to talk about her day, vent about work, have me help her get her car serviced and frankly I couldn't give a shit at this point. But I cannot say that I have divorced but I will not choice to live the rest of my life this way and I am making financial and personal plans to ensure separation.

I have told her that I view the withholding of all physical affection as a violation of her vows. It doesn't seem to sink in; when I tell her we need to go to counseling in order to avoid divorce it doesn't sink in; in our marriage she has often refused to discuss things so that she can say "we never talked about that" but in my kinder moments perhaps she is just wired differently, that we both need to recognize that, and plan accordingly.

I need to be careful though because I do find I get very angry and need to watch my tongue in front of the kids.

In my case it is the nastiest form of passive aggressive behavior I have ever experienced. And I think she will be genuinely surprised and saddened when I file but that's not a marriage. Well, then again, I realize now that for alot of women, marriage is a financial contract.

Oh my god. I need to show this to my husband, who turns into a jerk after 2 weeks. Five years? Nothing? I hear people throw around the term "sexless marriage" but I had no idea people actually went this long. What does she say? Does she give a reason or has she been saying she's not in the mood for five years? Sorry to be so blunt, but I'm shocked by this. That is not a marriage. Is there any intimacy or affection at all? Do you cuddle or spoon at all? I hope you guys find some sort of solution. You shouldn't have to be in a marriage with that sort of refusal.

No you do not need to show this to your husband. Just because one marriage has a five year period without sex doesn't mean that your marriage is fine because the frequency isn't as bad as PP. If your husband says two weeks is his max, believe him. Every marriage is different and your husband has already opened up discussions for the lack of frequency he will tolerate.

Go away.

[Anonymous]

The truth hurts I guess.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The truth hurts I guess.

More like entitled, misogynistic bullshit hurts. It's annoying to read and the stupidity hurts my brain.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have not divorced but think of it daily. Logistics make it tough so playing the waiting game. Have not had sex in five years. I have asked to go to counseling but she refuses. Minimizes impact - tells me that I make a big deal out of not having sex. So, as others have suggested I am working on myself. Will likely start to go see someone (counseling) by myself just to deal with resulting anger issues.

I know I have stopped being a nurturing spouse. She will want to talk about her day, vent about work, have me help her get her car serviced and frankly I couldn't give a shit at this point. But I cannot say that I have divorced but I will not choice to live the rest of my life this way and I am making financial and personal plans to ensure separation.

I have told her that I view the withholding of all physical affection as a violation of her vows. It doesn't seem to sink in; when I tell her we need to go to counseling in order to avoid divorce it doesn't sink in; in our marriage she has often refused to discuss things so that she can say "we never talked about that" but in my kinder moments perhaps she is just wired differently, that we both need to recognize that, and plan accordingly.

I need to be careful though because I do find I get very angry and need to watch my tongue in front of the kids.

In my case it is the nastiest form of passive aggressive behavior I have ever experienced. And I think she will be genuinely surprised and saddened when I file but that's not a marriage. Well, then again, I realize now that for alot of women, marriage is a financial contract.

Oh my god. I need to show this to my husband, who turns into a jerk after 2 weeks. Five years? Nothing? I hear people throw around the term "sexless marriage" but I had no idea people actually went this long. What does she say? Does she give a reason or has she been saying she's not in the mood for five years? Sorry to be so blunt, but I'm shocked by this. That is not a marriage. Is there any intimacy or affection at all? Do you cuddle or spoon at all? I hope you guys find some sort of solution. You shouldn't have to be in a marriage with that sort of refusal.

No you do not need to show this to your husband. Just because one marriage has a five year period without sex doesn't mean that your marriage is fine because the frequency isn't as bad as PP. If your husband says two weeks is his max, believe him. Every marriage is different and your husband has already opened up discussions for the lack of frequency he will tolerate.

Go away.

Most likely, he will.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The truth hurts I guess.

More like entitled, misogynistic bullshit hurts. It's annoying to read and the stupidity hurts my brain.

PP here, I'm female, and not misogynistic at all! I'm not saying have sex whenever your husband desires. Just don't base an acceptable frequency for your marriage based on a random internet post. Base it off the needs and desires of the two people involved.