Who are all these people getting divorced?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To the people on here claiming everyone in their cohort is so wonderfully happily married - I wonder who are all these people on Ashley Madison, why are so many people on dating sites married and why whenever I go on a business trip your married husband tries to hit on me?

What exactly does "try to hit on" mean? It's like being pregnant, either you do or you don't.

[Anonymous]

Hit on = make a pass = flirt plus

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You know how when some people get married and you think to yourself, "this will never last" because the people or the relationship are dysfunctional? Yeah, most of those marriages in my circle are still going. And the ones who have divorced have actually surprised me - they were couples who seemed sane and rock-solid. But often, something happens that throws one person for a loop (often the death or illness of a parent, extended job loss, etc.), they spin out and the marriage fails.

I've also seen a few couples who were together for ages (7-8 years) get married and then divorce a year later. I figure these are people who probably should have broken up at some point, but inertia kept them together.

I think people from your first example are in the same inertia boat. They never had guts to split up and continue with the dysfunctional relations forever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hit on = make a pass = flirt plus

Yes, I know. That's why I said what does "trying" to hit on mean? Either you do or you don't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
LOL, these are the ones that stay in their shitty marriages because they can't stand the thought of downgrading from the McLean mansion to the 1BR apt in South Arlington.

That goes for the men too. I think many more people would be divorced if maintaining two households was feasible.

Why would the men give a shit? They're the breadwinners. It's the women who downgrade to shittier homes because they're the ones bringing $40k to the $500k party.[/quot


I never married my ex BF. I had an unplanned pregnancy and everyone in my family and most of my friends thought we would get married because it is the "right thing" to do. We didn't get married and I thank my lucky stars we never did. We broke up and I learned how to live on my own on $50K. Now those same friends are miserable and want to know how to live on their own income. Many of them will never divorce because they are used to the good life (2-4 vacations a year, large comfy house, etc). They are stuck being miserable and that's sad for everyone involved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People with graduate degrees who get married for the first time after the age of thirty only have a fifteen percent chance of getting divorced.

I'm in this demographic and divorced. I'm the only one of my pre-divorce group of friends so far.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That's what I thought, too: none of my friends have divorced. Then my sister announced that she was leaving her (awesome) husband of 20 years. She's 40. She doesn't match the poorly educated stereotype but yeah, clearly she was young. I think getting married at 20 is not advisable.

Most of my friends married in their mid-30s. I guess by then you know what you want.

I am not so sure that it's necessarily a bad thing. Getting married at 20 means that kids are done with college by 45. Parents are still relatively young and attractive and have enough productive years ahead of them but have completed their key obligations. It's different from a couple marrying at 30 and having kids by mid- 30s. By time first kid is 25, the younger parent is already 60. Sure can divorce at 60 and many people do, but retirement is close and more health issues. So think the empty nest and end of responsibilities age makes more of difference than starting age.

It does sounds nice, being a young empty nester. But statistically, marrying young is really hard on marriages. There's no way around that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know it happens and I've heard the statistics but I literally don't know one couple who is divorced in my large circle of acquaintances. I know of a few distant relatives, but none in our education/socioeconomic level. Has anyone else had this experience? Do all the divorces just happen later in life?

Don't worry. Those people are very different from you. It'll for sure never happen to you or your friends.

[Anonymous]

Divorce happens when the youngest and last child is 7 years or older. That is how long it takes for a woman to feel more confident she no longer needs the sperm donor around for raising the offspring, except for his child support payments.

[Anonymous]

You must live FAR away from HollyWEIRD....uh...Hollywood.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
LOL, these are the ones that stay in their shitty marriages because they can't stand the thought of downgrading from the McLean mansion to the 1BR apt in South Arlington.

That goes for the men too. I think many more people would be divorced if maintaining two households was feasible.

Why would the men give a shit? They're the breadwinners. It's the women who downgrade to shittier homes because they're the ones bringing $40k to the $500k party.

Men still take a big financial hit. Half of assets, alimony, child support.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old are you? The first wave of divorces come between 35 and 45.

Yep this. In DC/affluent burbs I'd say 45+. And some of us are highly educated, successful professionals even!

Yes, exactly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know it happens and I've heard the statistics but I literally don't know one couple who is divorced in my large circle of acquaintances. I know of a few distant relatives, but none in our education/socioeconomic level. Has anyone else had this experience? Do all the divorces just happen later in life?

Don't worry. Those people are very different from you. It'll for sure never happen to you or your friends.

No, it will never, ever, ever happen to her or her friends. Never.

Not this week anyhow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old are you? The first wave of divorces come between 35 and 45.

Yep this. In DC/affluent burbs I'd say 45+. And some of us are highly educated, successful professionals even!

Yes, exactly.

I would think it would happen to these types of people more than others because their expectations are so high.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old are you? The first wave of divorces come between 35 and 45.

Yep this. In DC/affluent burbs I'd say 45+. And some of us are highly educated, successful professionals even!

Yes, exactly.

I would think it would happen to these types of people more than others because their expectations are so high.

Or, they stay together for financial and social status reasons. Trixie and Billy Joe Jim Bob have no money or social standing to be concerned about so when Billy has a roll with Trixie's cousin Candi it's pretty easy for Trixie to boot his cheatin' butt out of the single wide. Not much to lose. (A double wide might complicate this and give Trixie pause.)

On the other hand, (let's call them) William and Hillary might stay together despite infidelity and other assorted slights due to the need to maintain a certain acceptable status for, oh, many reasons I guess.