Who are all these people getting divorced?

[Anonymous]

I know it happens and I've heard the statistics but I literally don't know one couple who is divorced in my large circle of acquaintances. I know of a few distant relatives, but none in our education/socioeconomic level. Has anyone else had this experience? Do all the divorces just happen later in life?

[Anonymous]

Poor kids who get married at 20 when they find out they are pregnant.

[Anonymous]

That's because rich dudes know better hahaaa

[Anonymous]

How old are you? The first wave of divorces come between 35 and 45.

[Anonymous]

Evangelicals from poor southern states. Really.

[Anonymous]

Yes, OP. The only people who divorce are uneducated poors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How old are you? The first wave of divorces come between 35 and 45.

Yep this. In DC/affluent burbs I'd say 45+. And some of us are highly educated, successful professionals even!

[Anonymous]

People with graduate degrees who get married for the first time after the age of thirty only have a fifteen percent chance of getting divorced.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Evangelicals from poor southern states. Really.

True. Early marriage age is probably correlated with divorce. I think in the last data on states with highest divorce rates, top ten includes Nevada (obvs - ease of residency to obtain divorce), Arkansas, Wyoming, Oklahoma, Alabama, Mississippi, Kentucky and West Virginia. Also, very high, top 5-ish are Wyoming and Idaho - the latter of which may be explained by the high percentage of LDS, who marry you.

http://www.ranker.com/list/highest-u-s-divorce-rates-by-state/taylor-ratcliff

[Anonymous]

Maybe your circle is filled with "I don't want to be the first" and don't want to pull the plug.

[Anonymous]

The average divorce rate is closer to 15% for my demographic, so yes, OP, maybe you're part of a subgroup of the population for whom divorce is less likely.

But I have met divorced people - my neighbor who was educated and in her late 30s when she married, but it just didn't work out. Husband had some issues with depression and anger management that emerged as he got older. My coworker also got divorced after having four kids, but I don't know the reason - none of my business obviously.

[Anonymous]

That's what I thought, too: none of my friends have divorced. Then my sister announced that she was leaving her (awesome) husband of 20 years. She's 40. She doesn't match the poorly educated stereotype but yeah, clearly she was young. I think getting married at 20 is not advisable.

Most of my friends married in their mid-30s. I guess by then you know what you want.

[Anonymous]

I think it crosses socio-economic barriers.

But if you read the responses on the relationship forum you will see why it would be hard for a marriage to survive the level of intransigence that repeatedly surfaces.

[Anonymous]

Go to your jurisdiction courthouse and be a fly on the wall for pending divorce hearings.

Take a pin and pad and let us know the statistics.

[Anonymous]

I used to feel the same way. This is gonna sound weird, but I have the sense that a lot of couples were waiting until their kids got their driver's licenses. I think they were sort of stuck with each other until they could get through the hard logistics part of day to day life with kids. A lot of guys seem to have left once the kids could drive themselves to activities. A lot of women seemed to seriously contemplating leaving once life became manageable with older kids.
I felt like I didn't know anyone and then when my oldest turned sixteen it seemed like all the moms from the pool got divorced in the same year.
I also fully expect to see another wave the year the youngest goes to college. I seem to hear a lot more conversations these days about the possibility of leaving.
Also, when various households in the neighborhood blew up, it was amazing to find out how many of your acquaintances were apparently carrying on affairs for years. I was impressed if I could drive the car pool, get to work and get dinner on the table. I have to say, I couldn't believe how many of my neighbors were able to do all that PLUS have an affair! That's some pretty impressive multitasking, ladies!