Parents pissed we don't want them visiting right after birth

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread makes me incredibly sad and how telling it is of the times we live in. I disagree with all those who agree with the OP. I think having a baby is not just about me and DH. It's about the family. I want my baby to feel close to everyone. We are ALL family. So even though my inlaws drive me nuts, Ive made sure to not hold them off anything. I was very close to my grandparents and always remember them there. I want the same for my baby. And because we dont have family in the area, I really cherish visits.

That's fine for YOU.

It doesn't work that way for ME, or for MY family.

And that's the exact point. It's all about YOU and that's sad. It's a sad statement about our culture and times. MY family. MY time. MY child.

[Anonymous]

Heh, well I'll add one little teeeeny thought that may already have been covered and summarily dismissed (because it does not apply to the OP etc etc)... but my hubs and I are 'older' parents (1st at ages 37 and 38 for us). We were madly in love with our little baby when she came home *and* madly exhausted. His mum stayed with us for about four weeks after #1 was born and, even though my hubs and his mum often don't get along, she was a GODSEND in our house.

When we needed a sanity nap, she was there to handle the baby's fussing. She didn't do things exactly as we would have done them but you know what, when you're insane from lack of sleep, you don't care.

And I'm glad Grandma and baby bonded. They're pretty close today, three years later.

[Anonymous]

ASHAMED?

hi im Betania (i think i posted on page 7),

im the one who posted about not wanting to be around my crazy parents bc of their selfishness in religion and leaving to defend for myself in the ghetto while pregnant and having no job (bc suffering makes a person more humble. even suffering for their future grandchild). i dont kno who these people are shaming exactly, since everyone chose to be anonymous-lol. which is lame to shame someone when you dont even come forward about doing so. but just bc a mother doesnt have a good bond with her own mother, it DOESNT mean she has a bad bond with her hubby's/or boyfriend's mother. in this case, I have a very good bond with my boyfriend's mother bc she actually cares about me and the wellbeing of her grandchild.

It doesnt mean shes a selfish mother for not wanting to be overwhelmed by her own parents annoying presence (which annoys not only the boyfriend/or hubby, but also the whole family on boyfriend's side and her own bc they are so insanely inconsiderate or maybe mentally impaired). apparently, judging someone is an easy thing to do for anonymous ppl hahahahaha. thanks for not understanding ...i guess.

but anyways these are ppl's believes and if they cant cross the "moral" thing about how the grandparents might feel about not wanting them to be there, then that is your own opinion. you have never lived their life with these ppl who had full control over it for atleast 18 years of neglect. some parents are just not good at being parents. and you cant say thats not true, when there are parents who let their children starve to death bc they are playing World of Warcraft, or they snap one day and kill them, or simply mentally abuse them bc the parents cant control their anger issues.

(only one of my many personal experiences)
OR simply a father telling a 12 yr old daughter to go talk to a child molester to go "save him" after she tried explaining to him that shes been getting harrassed by him (THIS IS ONLY ONE OF THE THINGS MY FATHER DID-ok?). come on seriously? not every family is hunky-dorey like yours. its obvious that you havent experienced being ignored all your life, nor ever being hugged. you know what- fuck it. some people will never understand, but i think those who dont should keep their "shames" to themselves bc they have no idea what life was like with these ppl running your life.

there are parents out there that dont deserve to be there during or right after the birth (if i could have it my way then i simply would never talk to them again) and if you cant be realistic enough to see that, then I pity your child. i mean....wow.