Did your parents cheat? How did you feel about it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Eventually, Ossie and Ruby decided the open marriage was not for them because they found that they really fulfilled each other, but neither regretted trying it. In the end, it is about respect and realizing your partner is a different person with different needs and aspirations. It is about your partner and not about you. Your jealousy is your problem, not theirs. If you both agree that you can both have outside relationships, it is just not cheating. The cgeating comes in the lies and deception, not the outside sex act. There are as many flavored of marriage as there are ice cream. Grab a spoon and dig in, but don't expect your flavor to be my favorite not force me to eat it.

Bullshit. What your SPOUSE does sexually IS about you. It cannot fail to affect you emotionally and perhaps physically. The cheating most definitely comes from the sex act. You are completely deluded if you think you can redefine "marriage" in the terms you describe here. Whore it up all you want, but don't try to pretend it is a marriage, because it isn't.

Who died and appointed you the arbiter of what marriage is?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:the expectation that parents should allow their children's needs to completely supersede their own is damaging.

Bullshit. Putting your kids needs before your own is called "being a parent" and "being an adult".

People can have affairs without neglecting their children.

I disagree, if you were not with your affair partner you would probably be with your family instead. Unless you are with your partner during normal working hours, you are taking time away from your children.

Are you with your children seven nights a week, every week? No time out with friends, to volunteer? And children are so needy that both parents must be home each evening? Absence = neglect?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You realize now as an adult that your father's cheating had nothing to do with his relationship with you, right?

That is horseshit.

Nope, it's not. I cheat and it has zero to do with my kids.

This isn't a unilateral decision. Your kids may decide otherwise.

Of course. They can decide I was selfish for continuing to work, even though many days I'd rather just stay home. Doesn't make it true.

[Anonymous]

My parents have been married for 50+ years. Looking at them with adult eyes, I can see that my father often made my mother unhappy or unfulfilled, and that much of her life was driven by duty, not happiness. If I were to find out today that she had affairs to fill the needs my father left unmet, it would change nothing in my love and adoration for her. In fact, I'd feel, "good for you." She did a great job as a mother and wife, and she deserved some time for selfish happiness, even if it were to take place outside of the family home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband has a low sex drive. He has two choices: allow our marriage to be open, or for us to divorce. We went to counseling for months, and that's what we and the counselor concluded. H feels sadness at some points that he's not enough for me, but doesn't feel anger or desire for revenge. I undersold my need for a strong sexual connection in marriage, and he oversold his drive. We love each other and have built a life together that we are interested in continuing.

Eventually he will get over his abject self-loathing and dump you.

Or you will be unable to get over your contempt for his abject self-loathing, and dump him for a man who respects himself.

A man who freely accepts being cuckolded is no kind of a man at all, and no female relationship with such a creature is sustainable.

In short, divorce is inevitable. It would actually be kinder of you to pull the plug than to flaunt your infidelity in front of this worm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Eventually, Ossie and Ruby decided the open marriage was not for them because they found that they really fulfilled each other, but neither regretted trying it. In the end, it is about respect and realizing your partner is a different person with different needs and aspirations. It is about your partner and not about you. Your jealousy is your problem, not theirs. If you both agree that you can both have outside relationships, it is just not cheating. The cgeating comes in the lies and deception, not the outside sex act. There are as many flavored of marriage as there are ice cream. Grab a spoon and dig in, but don't expect your flavor to be my favorite not force me to eat it.

Bullshit. What your SPOUSE does sexually IS about you. It cannot fail to affect you emotionally and perhaps physically. The cheating most definitely comes from the sex act. You are completely deluded if you think you can redefine "marriage" in the terms you describe here. Whore it up all you want, but don't try to pretend it is a marriage, because it isn't.

Okay, so if I say to my husband, "You are too conservative and repressed and can never fulfill me sexually, therefore I'm divorcing you," that won't traumatize my children? Or would you only be happy if I settled for solo sex?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is no "detriment" associated with NOT CHEATING so your response is irrelevant.

Spoken by a woman with a low sex drive who doesn't consider being sexually unsatisfied, chronically, as detrimental.

So get yourself a vibrator and deal with your imaginary "detriment".

Again, spoken by someone who thinks sex is just about the orgasm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Eventually, Ossie and Ruby decided the open marriage was not for them because they found that they really fulfilled each other, but neither regretted trying it. In the end, it is about respect and realizing your partner is a different person with different needs and aspirations. It is about your partner and not about you. Your jealousy is your problem, not theirs. If you both agree that you can both have outside relationships, it is just not cheating. The cgeating comes in the lies and deception, not the outside sex act. There are as many flavored of marriage as there are ice cream. Grab a spoon and dig in, but don't expect your flavor to be my favorite not force me to eat it.

Bullshit. What your SPOUSE does sexually IS about you. It cannot fail to affect you emotionally and perhaps physically. The cheating most definitely comes from the sex act. You are completely deluded if you think you can redefine "marriage" in the terms you describe here. Whore it up all you want, but don't try to pretend it is a marriage, because it isn't.

Who died and appointed you the arbiter of what marriage is?

Thousands of years of human history, dumbass.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is no "detriment" associated with NOT CHEATING so your response is irrelevant.

Spoken by a woman with a low sex drive who doesn't consider being sexually unsatisfied, chronically, as detrimental.

So get yourself a vibrator and deal with your imaginary "detriment".

Why do you think it's imaginary? Are you unable to imagine women with strong sex drives, or do you think they ought not have them?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Okay, so if I say to my husband, "You are too conservative and repressed and can never fulfill me sexually, therefore I'm divorcing you," that won't traumatize my children? Or would you only be happy if I settled for solo sex?

You should neither divorce him nor cheat on him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Eventually, Ossie and Ruby decided the open marriage was not for them because they found that they really fulfilled each other, but neither regretted trying it. In the end, it is about respect and realizing your partner is a different person with different needs and aspirations. It is about your partner and not about you. Your jealousy is your problem, not theirs. If you both agree that you can both have outside relationships, it is just not cheating. The cgeating comes in the lies and deception, not the outside sex act. There are as many flavored of marriage as there are ice cream. Grab a spoon and dig in, but don't expect your flavor to be my favorite not force me to eat it.

Bullshit. What your SPOUSE does sexually IS about you. It cannot fail to affect you emotionally and perhaps physically. The cheating most definitely comes from the sex act. You are completely deluded if you think you can redefine "marriage" in the terms you describe here. Whore it up all you want, but don't try to pretend it is a marriage, because it isn't.

Who died and appointed you the arbiter of what marriage is?

Thousands of years of human history, dumbass.

The marriages today are quite, quite different from what they were over "thousands of years of human history". That you don't understand that is a dumbass joke on you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do you think it's imaginary? Are you unable to imagine women with strong sex drives, or do you think they ought not have them?

It is the detriment that is imaginary. If you have to go without as much sex as you want, that is no hardship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Okay, so if I say to my husband, "You are too conservative and repressed and can never fulfill me sexually, therefore I'm divorcing you," that won't traumatize my children? Or would you only be happy if I settled for solo sex?

You should neither divorce him nor cheat on him.

So do I ever get to be in a sexually satisfying relationship?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do you think it's imaginary? Are you unable to imagine women with strong sex drives, or do you think they ought not have them?

It is the detriment that is imaginary. If you have to go without as much sex as you want, that is no hardship.

Says you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The marriages today are quite, quite different from what they were over "thousands of years of human history". That you don't understand that is a dumbass joke on you.

That you think the current state of "marriage" is normal and sustainable shows that you are the dumbass. The "joke", unfortunately, is on all of society.