Overheard DW's fantasy about OM, do I confront her?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All of the males on this thread are utterly missing the point. No one said OP should step up his game in the bedroom.

They totally did! Just two examples:

02/01/2015 07:04

Are you satisfying her sexually? That's huge issue here and you don't provide that context.

02/01/2015 15:36

Do you do oral sex on her?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I think I'd take this route and combine it with the other poster who suggested stepping up your game a little. Something like:

"Dear Wife, I'm so sorry, because it was unintentional, but I came home early from the gym last week and overheard you talking with Jane in the kitchen. I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but just walking in and interrupting you would have been awkward for all of us at the moment. I heard you say that you are having feelings for Bob from the Kentucky office. I understand that you haven't acted on them and never plan to, and it means the world to me that I can trust you so much. That said, hearing it did make me feel pretty lousy, obviously, and I'm wondering - do you feel disconnected from our relationship lately? Is there anything I/we should be doing to bring that excitement back for us? Date nights? A vacation without the kids?"

DO NOT DO THIS.

Nothing will turn her off faster than such abject, pathetic, groveling supplication.

YOU ARE NOT A WOMAN. BE QUIET. You dont know what the hell you're talking about.

FUCK YOU.

I know what I'm talking about because I am a man and I have tried that approach and IT DOES NOT WORK. It only earns contempt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All of the males on this thread are utterly missing the point. No one said OP should step up his game in the bedroom.

They totally did! Just two examples:

02/01/2015 07:04

Are you satisfying her sexually? That's huge issue here and you don't provide that context.

02/01/2015 15:36

Do you do oral sex on her?

Right. Because that shit is important.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All of the males on this thread are utterly missing the point. No one said OP should step up his game in the bedroom.

They totally did! Just two examples:

02/01/2015 07:04

Are you satisfying her sexually? That's huge issue here and you don't provide that context.

02/01/2015 15:36

Do you do oral sex on her?

Stop applying logic.

[Anonymous]

I still want to understand how the OP overheard this conversation, why his wife would have such a conversation by phone in their home knowing she might be overheard, where the kids (if any) were during this conversation, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I think I'd take this route and combine it with the other poster who suggested stepping up your game a little. Something like:

"Dear Wife, I'm so sorry, because it was unintentional, but I came home early from the gym last week and overheard you talking with Jane in the kitchen. I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but just walking in and interrupting you would have been awkward for all of us at the moment. I heard you say that you are having feelings for Bob from the Kentucky office. I understand that you haven't acted on them and never plan to, and it means the world to me that I can trust you so much. That said, hearing it did make me feel pretty lousy, obviously, and I'm wondering - do you feel disconnected from our relationship lately? Is there anything I/we should be doing to bring that excitement back for us? Date nights? A vacation without the kids?"

DO NOT DO THIS.

Nothing will turn her off faster than such abject, pathetic, groveling supplication.

YOU ARE NOT A WOMAN. BE QUIET. You dont know what the hell you're talking about.

FUCK YOU.

I know what I'm talking about because I am a man and I have tried that approach and IT DOES NOT WORK. It only earns contempt.

You are not a man. You are a bitter, twisted troll who is trying to drag the OP down to your lonely level so you can have company in your misery.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I still want to understand how the OP overheard this conversation, why his wife would have such a conversation by phone in their home knowing she might be overheard, where the kids (if any) were during this conversation, etc.

agreed

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What's the wife expected to do in this situation?

to actually love her husband and stop being a douche

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All of the males on this thread are utterly missing the point. No one said OP should step up his game in the bedroom. It's about the romance, stupid.

Nonsense - two guys on this thread have nailed it: let her know you know and aren't threatened, and demonstrate that you are attractive to other women. Nothing like a) no longer taking hubby for granted and b) a little mate competition to get your attraction going again.

Why is it that men always feel competent to give advice on what women are thinking and feeling?

NO you are wrong. If anything this will piss the wife off and give her reason to get with the other guy. She is not a dog, she is not going to respond to such dumb behavior.

And since his wife already has a potential hookup lined up and ready to go, I would not be baiting her or trying to start a game of "who can get more attention outside the marriage"...

Why is it that women believe that the man they're ***about to cheat on*** should push his hurt feelings aside and shower her with romance when she clearly wants another guy? As the cliche goes, she'll pretend it's having a slight effect, but won't be ready for sex yet (all while riding the fantasy guy, literally).

The fix to this is *not* to reward your wife with romance or anything else while she's "on" another guy.

Females giving males advice on how to fix this only ever benefits the female.

Right. If you want the marriage to end, totally look at it as a power struggle and punish her and isolate yourself from her. This will totally turn her on. /s

OP, unless you want to end up alone and bitter like this guy, take the opposite advice.

Right, OP. Listen to this woman here and see the post above or so where women both deny telling you to step up your game and, from the other side of their mouth, tell you to make sure you're fulfilling her sexually.

It's only a negative "zero sum game" to women if you actually stand your ground. Otherwise, you can "win" your marriage by eating the cream pie left by her crush. Is that really what you want? Follow the women's advice here and you'll literally be tasting another man.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

You are not a man. You are a bitter, twisted troll who is trying to drag the OP down to your lonely level so you can have company in your misery.

No man should ever, ever, ever listen to female advice about his relationship with women. It is always terrible and produces the opposite effect of what she intends -- even if she actually has the best of intentions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

You are not a man. You are a bitter, twisted troll who is trying to drag the OP down to your lonely level so you can have company in your misery.

No man should ever, ever, ever listen to female advice about his relationship with women. It is always terrible and produces the opposite effect of what she intends -- even if she actually has the best of intentions.

Right. Because as women we aren't the authorities on what women want. Totally makes sense. Totally. /s

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I still want to understand how the OP overheard this conversation, why his wife would have such a conversation by phone in their home knowing she might be overheard, where the kids (if any) were during this conversation, etc.

This is just further evidence of her low esteem for him. She is increasingly disinterested in trying to hide her true feelings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I still want to understand how the OP overheard this conversation, why his wife would have such a conversation by phone in their home knowing she might be overheard, where the kids (if any) were during this conversation, etc.

This is just further evidence of her low esteem for him. She is increasingly disinterested in trying to hide her true feelings.

Then he needs to build that esteem up. Make her feel love for him again, make her feel good around him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Right. Because as women we aren't the authorities on what women want. Totally makes sense. Totally. /s

Nope. You're not. That's why men should watch what you actually do, not listen to what you say.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Right. Because as women we aren't the authorities on what women want. Totally makes sense. Totally. /s

Nope. You're not. That's why men should watch what you actually do, not listen to what you say.

Right. And we dont fuck bitter men with anger issues towards women.

If you think we do- well I would say that's a case of wishful thinking.