She's Fat & Lazy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Actions speak louder than words. Does he do the same? Is there junk food in the closet? Does he eat wing and nachos while he downs a beer watching TV or does he make a nice salad on Saturday and ask her to go for a hike? Does he go to happy hour with friend or does he come home to help with the children?

Is he willing to go for a walk with her 3 days a week to help her be motivated and build their relationship or does he judge her, buy her yoga clothes and a gym membership and call it a day.

Lots of people can pay lip service to a problem and throw money at it but how many are actually vested in being part of the solution.

Do you have ANY suggestions for OP's wife or are you putting the entire solution on him. If she isn't motivated to do the work, then nothing is going to happen. It's very telling that you seem to blame OP for everything. Are you in the same situation as his DW? Seems like it.

No. But I would not compare anybody to me. I am in shape, the 75% breadwinner and do most of the kids stuff, support my H in his career but that is just the positive side of ADHD. The truth is, my H would never have the career he wanted without me, without my support, without my sacrifices. Um, yea that is what a team does. That is how I structure my family, like a team.

Everybody is all in 100% ... everybody. Not 50%/50%.

If you want something you have to actively achieve it. I understand if people can't rise to my level. But if you are going to sit on your ass, eating bon bons and wonder why you are not achieving goals for your family, I don't feel sorry for you.

Oh, yea ... suggestions. Yes I have suggestion.

Remove all boxed food from your house. Remove all candy from your house. Remove all dairy (except ice cream and milk for the kids) from your house. Remove all carbs, except brown rice and quinoa from your house.

Remove all artificial sweeteners from your house. Stop drinking coffee, use tea to get through the pain and suffering of the 1st 2 weeks, then switch to green tea.

NO ALCOHOL IN THE HOUSE... NONE!

Go to the store and literally buy every single solitary vegetable you see in the vegetable isle. Buy enough fruit so that everybody can have 2 servings of fruit a day.

Buy lean meat.

Buy whole milk yogurt (or 2%) no flavor and unsweetened vanilla almond milk.

Buy frozen berries and agave or honey

Sit the kids down and say "mom and dad" NOT JUST MOM, need to get healthier, we are going to eat healthier and exercise AS A FAMILY. So no candy, snacks, popcorn, junk for at least 2 weeks, WE (not mom) can not be tempted with artificial food.

Breakfast, smoothie (1/2 cup yogurt, berries, vanilla almond milk) (I add a protein powder and flax seeds)
Lunch - salad (with at least 5 vegetables) with 6-8 oz meat
Dinner - vegetable (or 2 or 3), 6-8oz meat and 1/2 cup rice (or quinoa)

NO alcohol.

Snacks: hummus, nuts (about 20), vegetables, 1/2 cup of plain yogurt (make tzatiki sp?), the 1 other fruit, 1/2 avacado


Every single weeknight the whole family should walk for 1 hour, ever single night... no excuses, no "it's too cold", no "but there is football/basketball on right now", find 1 hour... walk. as. a. family

Every single weekend, go to the gym, do a couples work out with a trainer. Let you trainer know you are on a new diet, because for the 1st 2 weeks workouts should not be high weight bearing.

Call me in 2 weeks and I will see how it is going, we may be able to adjust.

This is absurd. To have any chance of working, small changes first.

There is some seriously bad advice on this thread. Not to mention a bunch of man-haters. What has OP done wrong, exactly, other than word his thread title a bit aggressively? So much projecting people'x experiences - just because you chose a crappy man, doesn't mean OP's wife did.

Oh great, the manhating accusation again. Because anyone who disagrees with a man must hate all men, right? Give me break.

LOL.

[Anonymous]

My theory is that some women become overweight to spite their husbands. Kind of like an FU, I know you hate the way I look but too bad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My theory is that some women become overweight to spite their husbands. Kind of like an FU, I know you hate the way I look but too bad.

LOL!!!!

Absolutely hilarious.

You can't make this shit up folks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Actions speak louder than words. Does he do the same? Is there junk food in the closet? Does he eat wing and nachos while he downs a beer watching TV or does he make a nice salad on Saturday and ask her to go for a hike? Does he go to happy hour with friend or does he come home to help with the children?

Is he willing to go for a walk with her 3 days a week to help her be motivated and build their relationship or does he judge her, buy her yoga clothes and a gym membership and call it a day.

Lots of people can pay lip service to a problem and throw money at it but how many are actually vested in being part of the solution.

Do you have ANY suggestions for OP's wife or are you putting the entire solution on him. If she isn't motivated to do the work, then nothing is going to happen. It's very telling that you seem to blame OP for everything. Are you in the same situation as his DW? Seems like it.

No. But I would not compare anybody to me. I am in shape, the 75% breadwinner and do most of the kids stuff, support my H in his career but that is just the positive side of ADHD. The truth is, my H would never have the career he wanted without me, without my support, without my sacrifices. Um, yea that is what a team does. That is how I structure my family, like a team.

Everybody is all in 100% ... everybody. Not 50%/50%.

If you want something you have to actively achieve it. I understand if people can't rise to my level. But if you are going to sit on your ass, eating bon bons and wonder why you are not achieving goals for your family, I don't feel sorry for you.

Oh, yea ... suggestions. Yes I have suggestion.

Remove all boxed food from your house. Remove all candy from your house. Remove all dairy (except ice cream and milk for the kids) from your house. Remove all carbs, except brown rice and quinoa from your house.

Remove all artificial sweeteners from your house. Stop drinking coffee, use tea to get through the pain and suffering of the 1st 2 weeks, then switch to green tea.

NO ALCOHOL IN THE HOUSE... NONE!

Go to the store and literally buy every single solitary vegetable you see in the vegetable isle. Buy enough fruit so that everybody can have 2 servings of fruit a day.

Buy lean meat.

Buy whole milk yogurt (or 2%) no flavor and unsweetened vanilla almond milk.

Buy frozen berries and agave or honey

Sit the kids down and say "mom and dad" NOT JUST MOM, need to get healthier, we are going to eat healthier and exercise AS A FAMILY. So no candy, snacks, popcorn, junk for at least 2 weeks, WE (not mom) can not be tempted with artificial food.

Breakfast, smoothie (1/2 cup yogurt, berries, vanilla almond milk) (I add a protein powder and flax seeds)
Lunch - salad (with at least 5 vegetables) with 6-8 oz meat
Dinner - vegetable (or 2 or 3), 6-8oz meat and 1/2 cup rice (or quinoa)

NO alcohol.

Snacks: hummus, nuts (about 20), vegetables, 1/2 cup of plain yogurt (make tzatiki sp?), the 1 other fruit, 1/2 avacado


Every single weeknight the whole family should walk for 1 hour, ever single night... no excuses, no "it's too cold", no "but there is football/basketball on right now", find 1 hour... walk. as. a. family

Every single weekend, go to the gym, do a couples work out with a trainer. Let you trainer know you are on a new diet, because for the 1st 2 weeks workouts should not be high weight bearing.

Call me in 2 weeks and I will see how it is going, we may be able to adjust.

This is absurd. To have any chance of working, small changes first.

There is some seriously bad advice on this thread. Not to mention a bunch of man-haters. What has OP done wrong, exactly, other than word his thread title a bit aggressively? So much projecting people'x experiences - just because you chose a crappy man, doesn't mean OP's wife did.

My man is not crappy, I am not sure where you got that from this post. I am saying you can't sit on the couch eating crap and drinking beer and then wonder why your family is unhealthy. It is a life style. She needs to lose 50 lbs, from what OP says. How is being healthy aggressive. You think that taking a walk with your spouse every day for 2 weeks is aggressive. Wow!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My theory is that some women become overweight to spite their husbands. Kind of like an FU, I know you hate the way I look but too bad.

LOL!!!!

Absolutely hilarious.

You can't make this shit up folks.

Well then why do you see these women who gain a ton of weight and then cut all their hair off?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Actions speak louder than words. Does he do the same? Is there junk food in the closet? Does he eat wing and nachos while he downs a beer watching TV or does he make a nice salad on Saturday and ask her to go for a hike? Does he go to happy hour with friend or does he come home to help with the children?

Is he willing to go for a walk with her 3 days a week to help her be motivated and build their relationship or does he judge her, buy her yoga clothes and a gym membership and call it a day.

Lots of people can pay lip service to a problem and throw money at it but how many are actually vested in being part of the solution.

Do you have ANY suggestions for OP's wife or are you putting the entire solution on him. If she isn't motivated to do the work, then nothing is going to happen. It's very telling that you seem to blame OP for everything. Are you in the same situation as his DW? Seems like it.

No. But I would not compare anybody to me. I am in shape, the 75% breadwinner and do most of the kids stuff, support my H in his career but that is just the positive side of ADHD. The truth is, my H would never have the career he wanted without me, without my support, without my sacrifices. Um, yea that is what a team does. That is how I structure my family, like a team.

Everybody is all in 100% ... everybody. Not 50%/50%.

If you want something you have to actively achieve it. I understand if people can't rise to my level. But if you are going to sit on your ass, eating bon bons and wonder why you are not achieving goals for your family, I don't feel sorry for you.

Oh, yea ... suggestions. Yes I have suggestion.

Remove all boxed food from your house. Remove all candy from your house. Remove all dairy (except ice cream and milk for the kids) from your house. Remove all carbs, except brown rice and quinoa from your house.

Remove all artificial sweeteners from your house. Stop drinking coffee, use tea to get through the pain and suffering of the 1st 2 weeks, then switch to green tea.

NO ALCOHOL IN THE HOUSE... NONE!

Go to the store and literally buy every single solitary vegetable you see in the vegetable isle. Buy enough fruit so that everybody can have 2 servings of fruit a day.

Buy lean meat.

Buy whole milk yogurt (or 2%) no flavor and unsweetened vanilla almond milk.

Buy frozen berries and agave or honey

Sit the kids down and say "mom and dad" NOT JUST MOM, need to get healthier, we are going to eat healthier and exercise AS A FAMILY. So no candy, snacks, popcorn, junk for at least 2 weeks, WE (not mom) can not be tempted with artificial food.

Breakfast, smoothie (1/2 cup yogurt, berries, vanilla almond milk) (I add a protein powder and flax seeds)
Lunch - salad (with at least 5 vegetables) with 6-8 oz meat
Dinner - vegetable (or 2 or 3), 6-8oz meat and 1/2 cup rice (or quinoa)

NO alcohol.

Snacks: hummus, nuts (about 20), vegetables, 1/2 cup of plain yogurt (make tzatiki sp?), the 1 other fruit, 1/2 avacado


Every single weeknight the whole family should walk for 1 hour, ever single night... no excuses, no "it's too cold", no "but there is football/basketball on right now", find 1 hour... walk. as. a. family

Every single weekend, go to the gym, do a couples work out with a trainer. Let you trainer know you are on a new diet, because for the 1st 2 weeks workouts should not be high weight bearing.

Call me in 2 weeks and I will see how it is going, we may be able to adjust.

I'm laughing now because this is exactly what I do (aside from giving up the coffee - no way and I learned to just ditch the brown rice, agave and honey, too. I allow a square of dark chocolate on Fri and Sat nights) and I just don't see people doing this unless they HAVE to. I have to or I don't lose weight.

Yeah, I would LOVE to be able to eat pizza and pasta and still lose weight. I used to be able to do that. Things have changed for me. Thank God my own husband gets that and he is supportive of me and he also knows that it sucks (no way does he want to eat like me, lol). He even understands when I fall off the wagon and eat what I shouldn't for a while...

I am not going to lie and say that it doesn't suck, because it does. It takes a while for it to sink in that this is what you gotta do now. So being supportive is really important, especially at first.

Can you describe to the audience how you feel on this diet (I don't care about weight)?

Maybe compared to before... craving, energy, bloating, motivation, etc

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My theory is that some women become overweight to spite their husbands. Kind of like an FU, I know you hate the way I look but too bad.

LOL!!!!

Absolutely hilarious.

You can't make this shit up folks.

Well then why do you see these women who gain a ton of weight and then cut all their hair off?

Um, IDK... why does anyone gain weight? Health and/or emotional issues.

As for cutting hair off? I just chopped off about ten inches on mine and I am single. I did it because I wanted a change. It had nothing to do with "spiting a man" and the idea is ludicrous and so self centered.

You seem to have a massive chip on your shoulder.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Actions speak louder than words. Does he do the same? Is there junk food in the closet? Does he eat wing and nachos while he downs a beer watching TV or does he make a nice salad on Saturday and ask her to go for a hike? Does he go to happy hour with friend or does he come home to help with the children?

Is he willing to go for a walk with her 3 days a week to help her be motivated and build their relationship or does he judge her, buy her yoga clothes and a gym membership and call it a day.

Lots of people can pay lip service to a problem and throw money at it but how many are actually vested in being part of the solution.

Do you have ANY suggestions for OP's wife or are you putting the entire solution on him. If she isn't motivated to do the work, then nothing is going to happen. It's very telling that you seem to blame OP for everything. Are you in the same situation as his DW? Seems like it.

No. But I would not compare anybody to me. I am in shape, the 75% breadwinner and do most of the kids stuff, support my H in his career but that is just the positive side of ADHD. The truth is, my H would never have the career he wanted without me, without my support, without my sacrifices. Um, yea that is what a team does. That is how I structure my family, like a team.

Everybody is all in 100% ... everybody. Not 50%/50%.

If you want something you have to actively achieve it. I understand if people can't rise to my level. But if you are going to sit on your ass, eating bon bons and wonder why you are not achieving goals for your family, I don't feel sorry for you.

Oh, yea ... suggestions. Yes I have suggestion.

Remove all boxed food from your house. Remove all candy from your house. Remove all dairy (except ice cream and milk for the kids) from your house. Remove all carbs, except brown rice and quinoa from your house.

Remove all artificial sweeteners from your house. Stop drinking coffee, use tea to get through the pain and suffering of the 1st 2 weeks, then switch to green tea.

NO ALCOHOL IN THE HOUSE... NONE!

Go to the store and literally buy every single solitary vegetable you see in the vegetable isle. Buy enough fruit so that everybody can have 2 servings of fruit a day.

Buy lean meat.

Buy whole milk yogurt (or 2%) no flavor and unsweetened vanilla almond milk.

Buy frozen berries and agave or honey

Sit the kids down and say "mom and dad" NOT JUST MOM, need to get healthier, we are going to eat healthier and exercise AS A FAMILY. So no candy, snacks, popcorn, junk for at least 2 weeks, WE (not mom) can not be tempted with artificial food.

Breakfast, smoothie (1/2 cup yogurt, berries, vanilla almond milk) (I add a protein powder and flax seeds)
Lunch - salad (with at least 5 vegetables) with 6-8 oz meat
Dinner - vegetable (or 2 or 3), 6-8oz meat and 1/2 cup rice (or quinoa)

NO alcohol.

Snacks: hummus, nuts (about 20), vegetables, 1/2 cup of plain yogurt (make tzatiki sp?), the 1 other fruit, 1/2 avacado


Every single weeknight the whole family should walk for 1 hour, ever single night... no excuses, no "it's too cold", no "but there is football/basketball on right now", find 1 hour... walk. as. a. family

Every single weekend, go to the gym, do a couples work out with a trainer. Let you trainer know you are on a new diet, because for the 1st 2 weeks workouts should not be high weight bearing.

Call me in 2 weeks and I will see how it is going, we may be able to adjust.

I'm laughing now because this is exactly what I do (aside from giving up the coffee - no way and I learned to just ditch the brown rice, agave and honey, too. I allow a square of dark chocolate on Fri and Sat nights) and I just don't see people doing this unless they HAVE to. I have to or I don't lose weight.

Yeah, I would LOVE to be able to eat pizza and pasta and still lose weight. I used to be able to do that. Things have changed for me. Thank God my own husband gets that and he is supportive of me and he also knows that it sucks (no way does he want to eat like me, lol). He even understands when I fall off the wagon and eat what I shouldn't for a while...

I am not going to lie and say that it doesn't suck, because it does. It takes a while for it to sink in that this is what you gotta do now. So being supportive is really important, especially at first.

Can you describe to the audience how you feel on this diet (I don't care about weight)?

Maybe compared to before... craving, energy, bloating, motivation, etc

Why, I feel spectacular dear. My skin radiates, my energy goes through the roof, my mood gets injected with happiness - especially when I combine good cardio. There are payoffs to restricting the crap in my diet, no question. And those payoffs are what keep me coming back to it. I do find that life gets in the way sometimes, though. I went through a stressful stretch with so much happening in my life - from really wonderful, to just hair pulling, to incredibly sad. And diet just was not a priority. I remembered to eat well sometimes, but much of the time I was just eating whatever. And you can see that all over my body now. Time to get back to business. And I have .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Actions speak louder than words. Does he do the same? Is there junk food in the closet? Does he eat wing and nachos while he downs a beer watching TV or does he make a nice salad on Saturday and ask her to go for a hike? Does he go to happy hour with friend or does he come home to help with the children?

Is he willing to go for a walk with her 3 days a week to help her be motivated and build their relationship or does he judge her, buy her yoga clothes and a gym membership and call it a day.

Lots of people can pay lip service to a problem and throw money at it but how many are actually vested in being part of the solution.

Do you have ANY suggestions for OP's wife or are you putting the entire solution on him. If she isn't motivated to do the work, then nothing is going to happen. It's very telling that you seem to blame OP for everything. Are you in the same situation as his DW? Seems like it.

No. But I would not compare anybody to me. I am in shape, the 75% breadwinner and do most of the kids stuff, support my H in his career but that is just the positive side of ADHD. The truth is, my H would never have the career he wanted without me, without my support, without my sacrifices. Um, yea that is what a team does. That is how I structure my family, like a team.

Everybody is all in 100% ... everybody. Not 50%/50%.

If you want something you have to actively achieve it. I understand if people can't rise to my level. But if you are going to sit on your ass, eating bon bons and wonder why you are not achieving goals for your family, I don't feel sorry for you.

Oh, yea ... suggestions. Yes I have suggestion.

Remove all boxed food from your house. Remove all candy from your house. Remove all dairy (except ice cream and milk for the kids) from your house. Remove all carbs, except brown rice and quinoa from your house.

Remove all artificial sweeteners from your house. Stop drinking coffee, use tea to get through the pain and suffering of the 1st 2 weeks, then switch to green tea.

NO ALCOHOL IN THE HOUSE... NONE!

Go to the store and literally buy every single solitary vegetable you see in the vegetable isle. Buy enough fruit so that everybody can have 2 servings of fruit a day.

Buy lean meat.

Buy whole milk yogurt (or 2%) no flavor and unsweetened vanilla almond milk.

Buy frozen berries and agave or honey

Sit the kids down and say "mom and dad" NOT JUST MOM, need to get healthier, we are going to eat healthier and exercise AS A FAMILY. So no candy, snacks, popcorn, junk for at least 2 weeks, WE (not mom) can not be tempted with artificial food.

Breakfast, smoothie (1/2 cup yogurt, berries, vanilla almond milk) (I add a protein powder and flax seeds)
Lunch - salad (with at least 5 vegetables) with 6-8 oz meat
Dinner - vegetable (or 2 or 3), 6-8oz meat and 1/2 cup rice (or quinoa)

NO alcohol.

Snacks: hummus, nuts (about 20), vegetables, 1/2 cup of plain yogurt (make tzatiki sp?), the 1 other fruit, 1/2 avacado


Every single weeknight the whole family should walk for 1 hour, ever single night... no excuses, no "it's too cold", no "but there is football/basketball on right now", find 1 hour... walk. as. a. family

Every single weekend, go to the gym, do a couples work out with a trainer. Let you trainer know you are on a new diet, because for the 1st 2 weeks workouts should not be high weight bearing.

Call me in 2 weeks and I will see how it is going, we may be able to adjust.

This is absurd. To have any chance of working, small changes first.

There is some seriously bad advice on this thread. Not to mention a bunch of man-haters. What has OP done wrong, exactly, other than word his thread title a bit aggressively? So much projecting people'x experiences - just because you chose a crappy man, doesn't mean OP's wife did.

Oh great, the manhating accusation again. Because anyone who disagrees with a man must hate all men, right? Give me break.

Please answer the question about what exactly OP - just OP, not whatever other issues posters are projecting - has done wrong in this scenario?

[Anonymous]

OP, thanks for posting. I think a lot of men can relate. The title might be a bit harsh but it's a pretty common topic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Actions speak louder than words. Does he do the same? Is there junk food in the closet? Does he eat wing and nachos while he downs a beer watching TV or does he make a nice salad on Saturday and ask her to go for a hike? Does he go to happy hour with friend or does he come home to help with the children?

Is he willing to go for a walk with her 3 days a week to help her be motivated and build their relationship or does he judge her, buy her yoga clothes and a gym membership and call it a day.

Lots of people can pay lip service to a problem and throw money at it but how many are actually vested in being part of the solution.

Do you have ANY suggestions for OP's wife or are you putting the entire solution on him. If she isn't motivated to do the work, then nothing is going to happen. It's very telling that you seem to blame OP for everything. Are you in the same situation as his DW? Seems like it.

No. But I would not compare anybody to me. I am in shape, the 75% breadwinner and do most of the kids stuff, support my H in his career but that is just the positive side of ADHD. The truth is, my H would never have the career he wanted without me, without my support, without my sacrifices. Um, yea that is what a team does. That is how I structure my family, like a team.

Everybody is all in 100% ... everybody. Not 50%/50%.

If you want something you have to actively achieve it. I understand if people can't rise to my level. But if you are going to sit on your ass, eating bon bons and wonder why you are not achieving goals for your family, I don't feel sorry for you.

Oh, yea ... suggestions. Yes I have suggestion.

Remove all boxed food from your house. Remove all candy from your house. Remove all dairy (except ice cream and milk for the kids) from your house. Remove all carbs, except brown rice and quinoa from your house.

Remove all artificial sweeteners from your house. Stop drinking coffee, use tea to get through the pain and suffering of the 1st 2 weeks, then switch to green tea.

NO ALCOHOL IN THE HOUSE... NONE!

Go to the store and literally buy every single solitary vegetable you see in the vegetable isle. Buy enough fruit so that everybody can have 2 servings of fruit a day.

Buy lean meat.

Buy whole milk yogurt (or 2%) no flavor and unsweetened vanilla almond milk.

Buy frozen berries and agave or honey

Sit the kids down and say "mom and dad" NOT JUST MOM, need to get healthier, we are going to eat healthier and exercise AS A FAMILY. So no candy, snacks, popcorn, junk for at least 2 weeks, WE (not mom) can not be tempted with artificial food.

Breakfast, smoothie (1/2 cup yogurt, berries, vanilla almond milk) (I add a protein powder and flax seeds)
Lunch - salad (with at least 5 vegetables) with 6-8 oz meat
Dinner - vegetable (or 2 or 3), 6-8oz meat and 1/2 cup rice (or quinoa)

NO alcohol.

Snacks: hummus, nuts (about 20), vegetables, 1/2 cup of plain yogurt (make tzatiki sp?), the 1 other fruit, 1/2 avacado


Every single weeknight the whole family should walk for 1 hour, ever single night... no excuses, no "it's too cold", no "but there is football/basketball on right now", find 1 hour... walk. as. a. family

Every single weekend, go to the gym, do a couples work out with a trainer. Let you trainer know you are on a new diet, because for the 1st 2 weeks workouts should not be high weight bearing.

Call me in 2 weeks and I will see how it is going, we may be able to adjust.

This is absurd. To have any chance of working, small changes first.

There is some seriously bad advice on this thread. Not to mention a bunch of man-haters. What has OP done wrong, exactly, other than word his thread title a bit aggressively? So much projecting people'x experiences - just because you chose a crappy man, doesn't mean OP's wife did.

Oh great, the manhating accusation again. Because anyone who disagrees with a man must hate all men, right? Give me break.

Please answer the question about what exactly OP - just OP, not whatever other issues posters are projecting - has done wrong in this scenario?

If OP has been behind the "why does he have to do anything" posts (which I very much suspect he has) then he is totally wrong in soliciting help for a problem which he is unwilling to take personal steps to solve.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Actions speak louder than words. Does he do the same? Is there junk food in the closet? Does he eat wing and nachos while he downs a beer watching TV or does he make a nice salad on Saturday and ask her to go for a hike? Does he go to happy hour with friend or does he come home to help with the children?

Is he willing to go for a walk with her 3 days a week to help her be motivated and build their relationship or does he judge her, buy her yoga clothes and a gym membership and call it a day.

Lots of people can pay lip service to a problem and throw money at it but how many are actually vested in being part of the solution.

Do you have ANY suggestions for OP's wife or are you putting the entire solution on him. If she isn't motivated to do the work, then nothing is going to happen. It's very telling that you seem to blame OP for everything. Are you in the same situation as his DW? Seems like it.

No. But I would not compare anybody to me. I am in shape, the 75% breadwinner and do most of the kids stuff, support my H in his career but that is just the positive side of ADHD. The truth is, my H would never have the career he wanted without me, without my support, without my sacrifices. Um, yea that is what a team does. That is how I structure my family, like a team.

Everybody is all in 100% ... everybody. Not 50%/50%.

If you want something you have to actively achieve it. I understand if people can't rise to my level. But if you are going to sit on your ass, eating bon bons and wonder why you are not achieving goals for your family, I don't feel sorry for you.

Oh, yea ... suggestions. Yes I have suggestion.

Remove all boxed food from your house. Remove all candy from your house. Remove all dairy (except ice cream and milk for the kids) from your house. Remove all carbs, except brown rice and quinoa from your house.

Remove all artificial sweeteners from your house. Stop drinking coffee, use tea to get through the pain and suffering of the 1st 2 weeks, then switch to green tea.

NO ALCOHOL IN THE HOUSE... NONE!

Go to the store and literally buy every single solitary vegetable you see in the vegetable isle. Buy enough fruit so that everybody can have 2 servings of fruit a day.

Buy lean meat.

Buy whole milk yogurt (or 2%) no flavor and unsweetened vanilla almond milk.

Buy frozen berries and agave or honey

Sit the kids down and say "mom and dad" NOT JUST MOM, need to get healthier, we are going to eat healthier and exercise AS A FAMILY. So no candy, snacks, popcorn, junk for at least 2 weeks, WE (not mom) can not be tempted with artificial food.

Breakfast, smoothie (1/2 cup yogurt, berries, vanilla almond milk) (I add a protein powder and flax seeds)
Lunch - salad (with at least 5 vegetables) with 6-8 oz meat
Dinner - vegetable (or 2 or 3), 6-8oz meat and 1/2 cup rice (or quinoa)

NO alcohol.

Snacks: hummus, nuts (about 20), vegetables, 1/2 cup of plain yogurt (make tzatiki sp?), the 1 other fruit, 1/2 avacado


Every single weeknight the whole family should walk for 1 hour, ever single night... no excuses, no "it's too cold", no "but there is football/basketball on right now", find 1 hour... walk. as. a. family

Every single weekend, go to the gym, do a couples work out with a trainer. Let you trainer know you are on a new diet, because for the 1st 2 weeks workouts should not be high weight bearing.

Call me in 2 weeks and I will see how it is going, we may be able to adjust.

This is absurd. To have any chance of working, small changes first.

There is some seriously bad advice on this thread. Not to mention a bunch of man-haters. What has OP done wrong, exactly, other than word his thread title a bit aggressively? So much projecting people'x experiences - just because you chose a crappy man, doesn't mean OP's wife did.

Oh great, the manhating accusation again. Because anyone who disagrees with a man must hate all men, right? Give me break.

Please answer the question about what exactly OP - just OP, not whatever other issues posters are projecting - has done wrong in this scenario?

If OP has been behind the "why does he have to do anything" posts (which I very much suspect he has) then he is totally wrong in soliciting help for a problem which he is unwilling to take personal steps to solve.

But you have no idea whether he has or hasn't posted again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Actions speak louder than words. Does he do the same? Is there junk food in the closet? Does he eat wing and nachos while he downs a beer watching TV or does he make a nice salad on Saturday and ask her to go for a hike? Does he go to happy hour with friend or does he come home to help with the children?

Is he willing to go for a walk with her 3 days a week to help her be motivated and build their relationship or does he judge her, buy her yoga clothes and a gym membership and call it a day.

Lots of people can pay lip service to a problem and throw money at it but how many are actually vested in being part of the solution.

Do you have ANY suggestions for OP's wife or are you putting the entire solution on him. If she isn't motivated to do the work, then nothing is going to happen. It's very telling that you seem to blame OP for everything. Are you in the same situation as his DW? Seems like it.

No. But I would not compare anybody to me. I am in shape, the 75% breadwinner and do most of the kids stuff, support my H in his career but that is just the positive side of ADHD. The truth is, my H would never have the career he wanted without me, without my support, without my sacrifices. Um, yea that is what a team does. That is how I structure my family, like a team.

Everybody is all in 100% ... everybody. Not 50%/50%.

If you want something you have to actively achieve it. I understand if people can't rise to my level. But if you are going to sit on your ass, eating bon bons and wonder why you are not achieving goals for your family, I don't feel sorry for you.

Oh, yea ... suggestions. Yes I have suggestion.

Remove all boxed food from your house. Remove all candy from your house. Remove all dairy (except ice cream and milk for the kids) from your house. Remove all carbs, except brown rice and quinoa from your house.

Remove all artificial sweeteners from your house. Stop drinking coffee, use tea to get through the pain and suffering of the 1st 2 weeks, then switch to green tea.

NO ALCOHOL IN THE HOUSE... NONE!

Go to the store and literally buy every single solitary vegetable you see in the vegetable isle. Buy enough fruit so that everybody can have 2 servings of fruit a day.

Buy lean meat.

Buy whole milk yogurt (or 2%) no flavor and unsweetened vanilla almond milk.

Buy frozen berries and agave or honey

Sit the kids down and say "mom and dad" NOT JUST MOM, need to get healthier, we are going to eat healthier and exercise AS A FAMILY. So no candy, snacks, popcorn, junk for at least 2 weeks, WE (not mom) can not be tempted with artificial food.

Breakfast, smoothie (1/2 cup yogurt, berries, vanilla almond milk) (I add a protein powder and flax seeds)
Lunch - salad (with at least 5 vegetables) with 6-8 oz meat
Dinner - vegetable (or 2 or 3), 6-8oz meat and 1/2 cup rice (or quinoa)

NO alcohol.

Snacks: hummus, nuts (about 20), vegetables, 1/2 cup of plain yogurt (make tzatiki sp?), the 1 other fruit, 1/2 avacado


Every single weeknight the whole family should walk for 1 hour, ever single night... no excuses, no "it's too cold", no "but there is football/basketball on right now", find 1 hour... walk. as. a. family

Every single weekend, go to the gym, do a couples work out with a trainer. Let you trainer know you are on a new diet, because for the 1st 2 weeks workouts should not be high weight bearing.

Call me in 2 weeks and I will see how it is going, we may be able to adjust.

This is absurd. To have any chance of working, small changes first.

There is some seriously bad advice on this thread. Not to mention a bunch of man-haters. What has OP done wrong, exactly, other than word his thread title a bit aggressively? So much projecting people'x experiences - just because you chose a crappy man, doesn't mean OP's wife did.

Oh great, the manhating accusation again. Because anyone who disagrees with a man must hate all men, right? Give me break.

Please answer the question about what exactly OP - just OP, not whatever other issues posters are projecting - has done wrong in this scenario?

If OP has been behind the "why does he have to do anything" posts (which I very much suspect he has) then he is totally wrong in soliciting help for a problem which he is unwilling to take personal steps to solve.

But you have no idea whether he has or hasn't posted again.

And I never posted that it was all his fault. I merely laughed at the ridiculous and absurd "manhating" accusation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Actions speak louder than words. Does he do the same? Is there junk food in the closet? Does he eat wing and nachos while he downs a beer watching TV or does he make a nice salad on Saturday and ask her to go for a hike? Does he go to happy hour with friend or does he come home to help with the children?

Is he willing to go for a walk with her 3 days a week to help her be motivated and build their relationship or does he judge her, buy her yoga clothes and a gym membership and call it a day.

Lots of people can pay lip service to a problem and throw money at it but how many are actually vested in being part of the solution.

Do you have ANY suggestions for OP's wife or are you putting the entire solution on him. If she isn't motivated to do the work, then nothing is going to happen. It's very telling that you seem to blame OP for everything. Are you in the same situation as his DW? Seems like it.

No. But I would not compare anybody to me. I am in shape, the 75% breadwinner and do most of the kids stuff, support my H in his career but that is just the positive side of ADHD. The truth is, my H would never have the career he wanted without me, without my support, without my sacrifices. Um, yea that is what a team does. That is how I structure my family, like a team.

Everybody is all in 100% ... everybody. Not 50%/50%.

If you want something you have to actively achieve it. I understand if people can't rise to my level. But if you are going to sit on your ass, eating bon bons and wonder why you are not achieving goals for your family, I don't feel sorry for you.

Oh, yea ... suggestions. Yes I have suggestion.

Remove all boxed food from your house. Remove all candy from your house. Remove all dairy (except ice cream and milk for the kids) from your house. Remove all carbs, except brown rice and quinoa from your house.

Remove all artificial sweeteners from your house. Stop drinking coffee, use tea to get through the pain and suffering of the 1st 2 weeks, then switch to green tea.

NO ALCOHOL IN THE HOUSE... NONE!

Go to the store and literally buy every single solitary vegetable you see in the vegetable isle. Buy enough fruit so that everybody can have 2 servings of fruit a day.

Buy lean meat.

Buy whole milk yogurt (or 2%) no flavor and unsweetened vanilla almond milk.

Buy frozen berries and agave or honey

Sit the kids down and say "mom and dad" NOT JUST MOM, need to get healthier, we are going to eat healthier and exercise AS A FAMILY. So no candy, snacks, popcorn, junk for at least 2 weeks, WE (not mom) can not be tempted with artificial food.

Breakfast, smoothie (1/2 cup yogurt, berries, vanilla almond milk) (I add a protein powder and flax seeds)
Lunch - salad (with at least 5 vegetables) with 6-8 oz meat
Dinner - vegetable (or 2 or 3), 6-8oz meat and 1/2 cup rice (or quinoa)

NO alcohol.

Snacks: hummus, nuts (about 20), vegetables, 1/2 cup of plain yogurt (make tzatiki sp?), the 1 other fruit, 1/2 avacado


Every single weeknight the whole family should walk for 1 hour, ever single night... no excuses, no "it's too cold", no "but there is football/basketball on right now", find 1 hour... walk. as. a. family

Every single weekend, go to the gym, do a couples work out with a trainer. Let you trainer know you are on a new diet, because for the 1st 2 weeks workouts should not be high weight bearing.

Call me in 2 weeks and I will see how it is going, we may be able to adjust.

I'm laughing now because this is exactly what I do (aside from giving up the coffee - no way and I learned to just ditch the brown rice, agave and honey, too. I allow a square of dark chocolate on Fri and Sat nights) and I just don't see people doing this unless they HAVE to. I have to or I don't lose weight.

Yeah, I would LOVE to be able to eat pizza and pasta and still lose weight. I used to be able to do that. Things have changed for me. Thank God my own husband gets that and he is supportive of me and he also knows that it sucks (no way does he want to eat like me, lol). He even understands when I fall off the wagon and eat what I shouldn't for a while...

I am not going to lie and say that it doesn't suck, because it does. It takes a while for it to sink in that this is what you gotta do now. So being supportive is really important, especially at first.

Can you describe to the audience how you feel on this diet (I don't care about weight)?

Maybe compared to before... craving, energy, bloating, motivation, etc

Why, I feel spectacular dear. My skin radiates, my energy goes through the roof, my mood gets injected with happiness - especially when I combine good cardio. There are payoffs to restricting the crap in my diet, no question. And those payoffs are what keep me coming back to it. I do find that life gets in the way sometimes, though. I went through a stressful stretch with so much happening in my life - from really wonderful, to just hair pulling, to incredibly sad. And diet just was not a priority. I remembered to eat well sometimes, but much of the time I was just eating whatever. And you can see that all over my body now. Time to get back to business. And I have .

Thnaks! There is no right and wrong, there are choices and consequences.... and the holidays and many consequences. I am back on the plan too since the holidays and feel great, sleep well and don't crave food.

Of course you can't live in such a restricted life every single day. But being mindful.. important.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My theory is that some women become overweight to spite their husbands. Kind of like an FU, I know you hate the way I look but too bad.

LOL!!!!

Absolutely hilarious.

You can't make this shit up folks.

Well then why do you see these women who gain a ton of weight and then cut all their hair off?

Mommy bob! It goes with the women who drop a bunch of weight once they get divorced. They can look good if they want to. They just don't give a shit. When it's time to land a new guy, the sweatpants and the pounds come off, and the make up and longer hair return.