I am a White Woman Trapped in a Black Woman's Body! AMA

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. I am sorry if other black women find my post distasteful but this is how I feel. If we were to compare ourselves, many of you AA women have probably done more to appear white and be accepted by white society than me (if I have even done this at all). I wear my hair natural, have never bleached my skin or hair to a lighter color and have never worn a weave. Because my father is not from this country, I have no ancestors on his side who were slaves, so I know everything about my heritage on that side of the family and am very proud of my ethnicity. However, I relate more to, have more in common with and feel more comfortable around white American women than AA women. I am not sure why my perception about MYSELF offends you.

From where did your father emigrate?

Africa

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. I am sorry if other black women find my post distasteful but this is how I feel. If we were to compare ourselves, many of you AA women have probably done more to appear white and be accepted by white society than me (if I have even done this at all). I wear my hair natural, have never bleached my skin or hair to a lighter color and have never worn a weave. Because my father is not from this country, I have no ancestors on his side who were slaves, so I know everything about my heritage on that side of the family and am very proud of my ethnicity. However, I relate more to, have more in common with and feel more comfortable around white American women than AA women. I am not sure why my perception about MYSELF offends you.

From where did your father emigrate?

Africa

Not helpful. You seem defensive.

[Incognita]

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. I am sorry if other black women find my post distasteful but this is how I feel. If we were to compare ourselves, many of you AA women have probably done more to appear white and be accepted by white society than me (if I have even done this at all). I wear my hair natural, have never bleached my skin or hair to a lighter color and have never worn a weave. Because my father is not from this country, I have no ancestors on his side who were slaves, so I know everything about my heritage on that side of the family and am very proud of my ethnicity. However, I relate more to, have more in common with and feel more comfortable around white American women than AA women. I am not sure why my perception about MYSELF offends you.

Now I am really confused. Your family is not African American, you husband is not AA, I'm guessing you have been exposed to many other cultures within the black diaspora but yet you are white because you don't connect with stereotypical or negative African American behaviors/experiences? You realize this is an extremely faulty way of thinking. It's okay to say you don't connect with a subset of AAs, but what does that have to do with being black? Is your husband not black because he isn't like the AAs you went to school with? How about your parents? Another question, when you meet other black women who share your SES, similar background, experiences and consequences, do you say they are really white women?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. I am sorry if other black women find my post distasteful but this is how I feel. If we were to compare ourselves, many of you AA women have probably done more to appear white and be accepted by white society than me (if I have even done this at all). I wear my hair natural, have never bleached my skin or hair to a lighter color and have never worn a weave. Because my father is not from this country, I have no ancestors on his side who were slaves, so I know everything about my heritage on that side of the family and am very proud of my ethnicity. However, I relate more to, have more in common with and feel more comfortable around white American women than AA women. I am not sure why my perception about MYSELF offends you.

From where did your father emigrate?

Africa

Africa is a huge continent. Any country in particular?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. I am sorry if other black women find my post distasteful but this is how I feel. If we were to compare ourselves, many of you AA women have probably done more to appear white and be accepted by white society than me (if I have even done this at all). I wear my hair natural, have never bleached my skin or hair to a lighter color and have never worn a weave. Because my father is not from this country, I have no ancestors on his side who were slaves, so I know everything about my heritage on that side of the family and am very proud of my ethnicity. However, I relate more to, have more in common with and feel more comfortable around white American women than AA women. I am not sure why my perception about MYSELF offends you.

I'm one of the previous aa posters you are referring to.
Skin bleaching? Seriously? Skin bleaching is much more common and accepted in other cultures than it is among young-youngish aa women. Weaves are less common the higher up in ses you go. It's like you've never met any aa people in real life.
It feels like you are grasping to appear as something (Worldly? Cultured?) that you just don't seem to be. I feel for anyone who feels 'trapped' in their body. I hope you find some peace.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Something is very Troll-like about this OP/thread.

I could say I understand what it's like to be AA and I don't often like the same things many of my peers like but I never feel "white". That is bizarre.
I actually find foreign blacks more fun and interesting.

Your comment is pretty troll-like, too. FWIW, foreign folks of any race are usually more interesting than generic Americans. Probably something to do with them being different.

That's how you interpret it-well ok.
I just like the foods, customs and celebrations better that's all.

Examples?

Nigerian weddings
Haitian food
West Indian parties for starters.

All of the places you reference have some VERY dark parts in their culture that's not exactly fun and interesting. I wonder why you embrace the positives in foreign blacks while ignoring the bad, yet you seem to do the very opposite with AAs?

Your over analyzing what I said.
Of course ALL cultures have dark sides.
I just find some aspects of traditional AA culture a bit dry-that's all.
We don't celebrate coming of age or have festive weddings, parties and holidays. It's ok to agree to disagree. The end.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Something is very Troll-like about this OP/thread.

I could say I understand what it's like to be AA and I don't often like the same things many of my peers like but I never feel "white". That is bizarre.
I actually find foreign blacks more fun and interesting.

Your comment is pretty troll-like, too. FWIW, foreign folks of any race are usually more interesting than generic Americans. Probably something to do with them being different.

That's how you interpret it-well ok.
I just like the foods, customs and celebrations better that's all.

Examples?

Nigerian weddings
Haitian food
West Indian parties for starters.

All of the places you reference have some VERY dark parts in their culture that's not exactly fun and interesting. I wonder why you embrace the positives in foreign blacks while ignoring the bad, yet you seem to do the very opposite with AAs?

Your over analyzing what I said.
Of course ALL cultures have dark sides.
I just find some aspects of traditional AA culture a bit dry-that's all.
We don't celebrate coming of age or have festive weddings, parties and holidays. It's ok to agree to disagree. The end.

There is no traditional AA culture. You seem to think there is, and you only believe it's negative. That's the problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. I am sorry if other black women find my post distasteful but this is how I feel. If we were to compare ourselves, many of you AA women have probably done more to appear white and be accepted by white society than me (if I have even done this at all). I wear my hair natural, have never bleached my skin or hair to a lighter color and have never worn a weave. Because my father is not from this country, I have no ancestors on his side who were slaves, so I know everything about my heritage on that side of the family and am very proud of my ethnicity. However, I relate more to, have more in common with and feel more comfortable around white American women than AA women. I am not sure why my perception about MYSELF offends you.

From where did your father emigrate?

Africa

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Something is very Troll-like about this OP/thread.

I could say I understand what it's like to be AA and I don't often like the same things many of my peers like but I never feel "white". That is bizarre.
I actually find foreign blacks more fun and interesting.

Your comment is pretty troll-like, too. FWIW, foreign folks of any race are usually more interesting than generic Americans. Probably something to do with them being different.

That's how you interpret it-well ok.
I just like the foods, customs and celebrations better that's all.

Examples?

Nigerian weddings
Haitian food
West Indian parties for starters.

All of the places you reference have some VERY dark parts in their culture that's not exactly fun and interesting. I wonder why you embrace the positives in foreign blacks while ignoring the bad, yet you seem to do the very opposite with AAs?

Your over analyzing what I said.
Of course ALL cultures have dark sides.
I just find some aspects of traditional AA culture a bit dry-that's all.
We don't celebrate coming of age or have festive weddings, parties and holidays. It's ok to agree to disagree. The end.

"We" don't celebrate... Who is "we"? You can't possibly know this to be true of all AAs in America.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. I am sorry if other black women find my post distasteful but this is how I feel. If we were to compare ourselves, many of you AA women have probably done more to appear white and be accepted by white society than me (if I have even done this at all). I wear my hair natural, have never bleached my skin or hair to a lighter color and have never worn a weave. Because my father is not from this country, I have no ancestors on his side who were slaves, so I know everything about my heritage on that side of the family and am very proud of my ethnicity. However, I relate more to, have more in common with and feel more comfortable around white American women than AA women. I am not sure why my perception about MYSELF offends you.

I'm one of the previous aa posters you are referring to.
Skin bleaching? Seriously? Skin bleaching is much more common and accepted in other cultures than it is among young-youngish aa women. Weaves are less common the higher up in ses you go. It's like you've never met any aa people in real life.
It feels like you are grasping to appear as something (Worldly? Cultured?) that you just don't seem to be. I feel for anyone who feels 'trapped' in their body. I hope you find some peace.

Yes, black women chemically straightening there hair IS an attempt to look more European because you do not like your naturally kinky hair. It is okay to admit it. So is wearing a weave. You are wearing the hair of another person. Don't you find that sad and pathetic??? And tanning is NOT an attempt to look Black. I hate it when AA's say this. Tanning is an attempt to look less pale and that is all. Again, why is how I feel about ME offensive to you?? How can you actually disagree with who I believe I am when you don't know me?? Think about that. It is very odd. If you told me you felt like an ape because of x,y and z, who am I to argue with you? You know you best, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Yes, black women chemically straightening there hair IS an attempt to look more European because you do not like your naturally kinky hair. It is okay to admit it. So is wearing a weave. You are wearing the hair of another person. Don't you find that sad and pathetic??? And tanning is NOT an attempt to look Black. I hate it when AA's say this. Tanning is an attempt to look less pale and that is all. Again, why is how I feel about ME offensive to you?? How can you actually disagree with who I believe I am when you don't know me?? Think about that. It is very odd. If you told me you felt like an ape because of x,y and z, who am I to argue with you? You know you best, right?

So white women who get perms are trying to be black because they don't like their naturally straight hair?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. I am sorry if other black women find my post distasteful but this is how I feel. If we were to compare ourselves, many of you AA women have probably done more to appear white and be accepted by white society than me (if I have even done this at all). I wear my hair natural, have never bleached my skin or hair to a lighter color and have never worn a weave. Because my father is not from this country, I have no ancestors on his side who were slaves, so I know everything about my heritage on that side of the family and am very proud of my ethnicity. However, I relate more to, have more in common with and feel more comfortable around white American women than AA women. I am not sure why my perception about MYSELF offends you.

I'm one of the previous aa posters you are referring to.
Skin bleaching? Seriously? Skin bleaching is much more common and accepted in other cultures than it is among young-youngish aa women. Weaves are less common the higher up in ses you go. It's like you've never met any aa people in real life.
It feels like you are grasping to appear as something (Worldly? Cultured?) that you just don't seem to be. I feel for anyone who feels 'trapped' in their body. I hope you find some peace.

Yes, black women chemically straightening there hair IS an attempt to look more European because you do not like your naturally kinky hair. It is okay to admit it. So is wearing a weave. You are wearing the hair of another person. Don't you find that sad and pathetic??? And tanning is NOT an attempt to look Black. I hate it when AA's say this. Tanning is an attempt to look less pale and that is all. Again, why is how I feel about ME offensive to you?? How can you actually disagree with who I believe I am when you don't know me?? Think about that. It is very odd. If you told me you felt like an ape because of x,y and z, who am I to argue with you? You know you best, right?

You are a sad, sad woman. It's taking everything in me not to chew you out, but what's stopping me is one thing: Your life is pathetic enough having to deal with such self hatred, so why pile it on.

Good luck to you in life, OP. What a sad way to live.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Yes, black women chemically straightening there hair IS an attempt to look more European because you do not like your naturally kinky hair. It is okay to admit it. So is wearing a weave. You are wearing the hair of another person. Don't you find that sad and pathetic??? And tanning is NOT an attempt to look Black. I hate it when AA's say this. Tanning is an attempt to look less pale and that is all. Again, why is how I feel about ME offensive to you?? How can you actually disagree with who I believe I am when you don't know me?? Think about that. It is very odd. If you told me you felt like an ape because of x,y and z, who am I to argue with you? You know you best, right?

So white women who get perms are trying to be black because they don't like their naturally straight hair?

Not to mention that there are white women with curly hair who also straighten their hair. And white/Asian/Hispanic women who wear weaves. Didn't realize long hair (weaves) was an attempt to look white. Seems to suggest that black women can't grow long hair. I won't rely on OP to give an objective answer, because she's clearly got some "Imitation of Life" syndrome shit going on.

-AA woman with natural hair, but who has had perms and worn weaves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. I am sorry if other black women find my post distasteful but this is how I feel. If we were to compare ourselves, many of you AA women have probably done more to appear white and be accepted by white society than me (if I have even done this at all). I wear my hair natural, have never bleached my skin or hair to a lighter color and have never worn a weave. Because my father is not from this country, I have no ancestors on his side who were slaves, so I know everything about my heritage on that side of the family and am very proud of my ethnicity. However, I relate more to, have more in common with and feel more comfortable around white American women than AA women. I am not sure why my perception about MYSELF offends you.

I'm one of the previous aa posters you are referring to.
Skin bleaching? Seriously? Skin bleaching is much more common and accepted in other cultures than it is among young-youngish aa women. Weaves are less common the higher up in ses you go. It's like you've never met any aa people in real life.
It feels like you are grasping to appear as something (Worldly? Cultured?) that you just don't seem to be. I feel for anyone who feels 'trapped' in their body. I hope you find some peace.

Indeed. Sad, but true.

[Anonymous]

Everything I've read from the OP makes me feel sad for her. However, I feel even more for her dd, who, if she hasn't already, will inevitably pick up on these identity issues from her mother. As it goes, we don't chose our parents.