Size 14, pretty face, 215 pounds. Would you date me?

[Anonymous]

I'm having a hard time with the size 14 as well.

I have a lot of muscle mass. Despite being FAT I was always a gym rat, but one that ate too much. I even hauled my fat ass through a half marathon doing a 9 minute pace (yes I'm the fat chick that blew past you). I'm 5'9" and at my fattest I was 190 and a solid tight 14. I finally hit rock bottom when I needed 16s.

If I had managed to pile on another 25lbs, I'm guessing I would have been a 20.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm very curvy (big boobs) but yeah. Those are my stats. Face is very pretty (natural blonde, green eyes) but I'm overweight. Should I bother starting with online dating or lose weight first? I'm 5'8.

I'd love to be stuck on a deserted island with you

[Anonymous]

Start online dating and lose weight at the same time - it's not an either/or option.

Be honest about your body - post a flattering full-body pic and mark that you are curvy (or whatever euphemism they use). Be confident in yourself and accepting of where you are with your body -- that will win over a lot more guys than a super fit lady who is self conscious and not happy with where she is.

I'm built a lot like you. I had no problem getting dates and meeting people online. However, you have to realize that you are going to be attractive to some guys and not to other. My advice to you is to put it into the same category as some guys prefer blondes vs. brunettes. It's not a commentary on your self worth if a guy doesn't dig you because you're bigger than what he is looking for. That's his preference and that's ok. That's about him - it's not about you.

Your first criteria for anyone should be someone who wants you as you are and finds you attractive. After that, everything will fall into place.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

OP, I was around 200 lbs when I met and later, married, my husband. He is pretty much the man of my dreams -- very smart, kind, even-keeled. A good, solid person. He's also pretty handsome (though not tall -- he is 5'8", I am 5'4").

And to all the haters -- I was a size 14 when at 200 lbs. Not a 14W, a solid, regular 14 at stores across the board.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Bullshit bullshit bullshit.
You aren't a size 14.
I am 5ft 7 and 171lbs and I am a size 14.

Stop being an asshole. I am just under 180 and in between an 8 and a 10 at 5ft 6. I still have a few 12's that sag and have so much room in the waist I don't unbutton them to pull them up and down. It may seem unbelievable to you but it is definitely possible and likely as the OP has NO REASON to lie.

No ma'am. You are not a true 8/10. You must be shopping at Ann Taylor Loft and Coldwater Creek. Helluva lotta vanity-sizing going on in your closet.

5'8" 168 size 12

haha! it's possible you're right, but I'm not sure how. I've never shopped at either of those stores (wtf is a Coldwater Creek??) Most of my clothes now are from Tj Maxx or Ross. All of my exercise gear is Medium as Large is too loose. I do workout daily & power lift so have a ton of muscle so I'm sure that factors into it. The point is it may be surprising that someone could weight that much and be that size, but it's definitely possible. And damn it must suck to be a 12 at 168. Do you carry it all in your waist??

[Anonymous]

I have plenty of heavier friends who have nice, cute husbands who met them when they were fat. they seem pretty happy.

That said, it does make your dating pool smaller, because some guys will not be attracted to you. That's ok. Some guys are not attracted to me because I'm 42, or because I have a kid, or because I don't have big boobs. Everyone has their stuff.

Are you a pretty healthy overweight person? For me that would make some difference. One of my heavier friends does triathlons and she is freakin' awesome. She'll never be skinny, but she is taking great care of herself otherwise.

[Anonymous]

If I was looking for longterm and I knew you had lipo and still wound up obese, I guess I would not date you. You likely have self-control issues and will end up obese as you get older no matter what. Or, you'll lose the weight and to keep it off you completely have to change your lifestyle. Going on vacation and dining and making special meals is important to me and if I was with someone counting points it would drive me freaking nuts.

[Anonymous]

I would not but then weight, physique, health are important issues for me.

It does signify a lack of self-control unless there are medical issues which also bothers me. The fact that OP is asking whether at her present weight guys would be attracted to her seems to indicate at certain resignation to her current situation. I would think her focus should be on losing weight because it can be done even though it is harder for some than others.

OTOH, there are guys who would look beyond her appearance and weight so all is not lost.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If I was looking for longterm and I knew you had lipo and still wound up obese, I guess I would not date you. You likely have self-control issues and will end up obese as you get older no matter what. Or, you'll lose the weight and to keep it off you completely have to change your lifestyle. Going on vacation and dining and making special meals is important to me and if I was with someone counting points it would drive me freaking nuts.

I'd want to know more about this too, OP. When did you have lipo? How much did you weigh before?

The reason people are harping on the size 14 thing, I think, is because it doesn't really jive with 215 lbs. OK, yes some of you will come on and say "I was 350 lbs and a size 8!" but realistically it isn't very common to be in the obese range (which 215 lbs is) and still be able to fit into a "normal" (albeit large) clothing size. OP, I think if you were say, 20 lbs overweight post-partum or a "typical" size 14 (180-190 lbs at your height) you'd have more luck. Have you tried losing weight the typical (as opposed to lipo) way? Why do you think you are so heavy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If I was looking for longterm and I knew you had lipo and still wound up obese, I guess I would not date you. You likely have self-control issues and will end up obese as you get older no matter what. Or, you'll lose the weight and to keep it off you completely have to change your lifestyle. Going on vacation and dining and making special meals is important to me and if I was with someone counting points it would drive me freaking nuts.

You don't make sense. Eating out and cooking is important to you and you don't want to be with someone watching their caloric intake, but you also want to be with someone thin?

[Anonymous]

Maybe she shops at the outlet malls?

I'm 5'4" 150 and size 6 at an outlet store. Boggles my mind. I'm usually a size 10.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Start online dating and lose weight at the same time - it's not an either/or option.

Be honest about your body - post a flattering full-body pic and mark that you are curvy (or whatever euphemism they use). Be confident in yourself and accepting of where you are with your body -- that will win over a lot more guys than a super fit lady who is self conscious and not happy with where she is.

I'm built a lot like you. I had no problem getting dates and meeting people online. However, you have to realize that you are going to be attractive to some guys and not to other. My advice to you is to put it into the same category as some guys prefer blondes vs. brunettes. It's not a commentary on your self worth if a guy doesn't dig you because you're bigger than what he is looking for. That's his preference and that's ok. That's about him - it's not about you.

Your first criteria for anyone should be someone who wants you as you are and finds you attractive. After that, everything will fall into place.

Good luck!

This! As my mom always says, "there's a lid for every pot." Just like a guy who goes for the stick-thin look, or likes a muscular woman while others find that unattractive, there are plenty of men that like heavy women. Everyone's dating pool is limited by certain factors. Keep up the WW b/c at the end of the day, it's healthier for you to be at a lower weight. My best friend is very overweight -- and her husband is a marathon runner and more into fitness as the years go by. You can find any type of match out there. And I don't care what size clothes you where or where you buy them. A guy has eyes, he's going to make a judgement based on what he sees. I do agree though, put a recent full-body picture online. No surprises. It's better for your self-esteem and will weed out the guys that aren't into your type.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Start online dating and lose weight at the same time - it's not an either/or option.

Be honest about your body - post a flattering full-body pic and mark that you are curvy (or whatever euphemism they use). Be confident in yourself and accepting of where you are with your body -- that will win over a lot more guys than a super fit lady who is self conscious and not happy with where she is.

I'm built a lot like you. I had no problem getting dates and meeting people online. However, you have to realize that you are going to be attractive to some guys and not to other. My advice to you is to put it into the same category as some guys prefer blondes vs. brunettes. It's not a commentary on your self worth if a guy doesn't dig you because you're bigger than what he is looking for. That's his preference and that's ok. That's about him - it's not about you.

Your first criteria for anyone should be someone who wants you as you are and finds you attractive. After that, everything will fall into place.

Good luck!

This! As my mom always says, "there's a lid for every pot." Just like a guy who goes for the stick-thin look, or likes a muscular woman while others find that unattractive, there are plenty of men that like heavy women. Everyone's dating pool is limited by certain factors. Keep up the WW b/c at the end of the day, it's healthier for you to be at a lower weight. My best friend is very overweight -- and her husband is a marathon runner and more into fitness as the years go by. You can find any type of match out there. And I don't care what size clothes you where or where you buy them. A guy has eyes, he's going to make a judgement based on what he sees. I do agree though, put a recent full-body picture online. No surprises. It's better for your self-esteem and will weed out the guys that aren't into your type.

Sorry but there are not unless they are also very overweight. There is a difference between a guy who does not care for a woman who is like a stick and one that is not. OP is obese and that is the reality and there are not a lot of guys who like obese women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:there are plenty of men that like heavy women. Everyone's dating pool is limited by certain factors. Keep up the WW b/c at the end of the day, it's healthier for you to be at a lower weight. My best friend is very overweight -- and her husband is a marathon runner and more into fitness as the years go by. You can find any type of match out there. And I don't care what size clothes you where or where you buy them. A guy has eyes, he's going to make a judgement based on what he sees. I do agree though, put a recent full-body picture online. No surprises. It's better for your self-esteem and will weed out the guys that aren't into your type.

Sorry but there are not unless they are also very overweight. There is a difference between a guy who does not care for a woman who is like a stick and one that is not. OP is obese and that is the reality and there are not a lot of guys who like obese women.

Lol - you sound stupid. First of all go google "bbw dating" and see how many frigging sites pop up. Next I want you to investigate a little more and peep the profiles and descriptions men on these sights seeking a larger lady so you can see for yourself that its not just overweight men who like overweight women. If anything its the opposite - think Kermit and Miss Piggy.

[Anonymous]

Body sizes/weights can vary so much - what's that website with pics to show variance?

Anyway, I'm 5'4" and was 210 at my heaviest and wore a 14 on top and an 18 on the bottom. Extreme pear shape and "fit fat" - even then I was running 10-15 miles/week.