Size 14, pretty face, 215 pounds. Would you date me?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:


This made me LOL. Have you ever been to a marathon? They are some seriously HUGE people who run marathons.

And also eating at WF will not make you skinny! They still sell all kinds of crap there.

Have I been to a marathon? LOL!!

I have run numerous marathons and still do even after having several children. Am a member of a runner's club and there is not a single person in the club who is overweight let alone a size 14. Sure there are those who run a marathon who are overweight because they do it as a matter of personal achievement - and all power to them for doing so.

But if you exercise regularly and eat without gorging on food, you will lose weight absent any medical issues. You can rant until kingdom come about those who are not able to lose weight because of slow metabolism, etc but that is just rationalizing. Also, you don't need to deprive yourself to keep your weight under control.

I don't count calories but estimate that I eat over 3000 calories a day because I work out. Most people who claim to eat a limited amount and yet not lose weight are way over-eating. They delude themselves that they are not eating much. Combine uncontrolled eating with a sedentary life and you will become overweight or obese.

But all of the above is neither here nor there. If you are OK with being overweight that is fine but don't delude yourself that it does not take a toll on your health, how you are perceived by others, and how it might affect your own self-esteem.

I'm not a runner - I'm skinny fat. But after watching so many huge people finish marathons I feel like I need to run one at some point.

[Anonymous]

I am a happily married size 14. Top weight was around 205, now around 180. I was normal weight for most of my adult life, then injury + hypothyroid + too much beer + getting older and I packed on the pounds. However, I ALWAYS had dates and serious boyfriends. Hookups, too, when I was single and looking for fun. There are plenty of men who like plus-sized women. Yes, white men, too. I married one!

[Anonymous]

sorry, haven't read all the answers - but i guess i'm not sure why you wouldn't start online dating now.

what are you giving up if you get started now instead of waiting till you lose weight? are you asking if there is ANYONE who will want to date you in your current state - to which the answer is surely yes? or if you will somehow turn off the man of your dreams and lose out on some future opportunity to date him - to which the answer is surely who the hell knows?

yes, go date.

signed,
married to a man who is seriously overweight, who, yes sure, wishes he'd lose weight but loves him quite a lot just the same

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm reading these topics to ky DH tonight. .commenting on these posts. His response to this one " sure, she probably gives out , but damn, she's my size!"

You are one lucky woman!

Yup, see OPs update at 07/01/2014 20:36…..I am lucky. He tells it like it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My brother is married to a gorgeous woman (truly gorgeous) who is about a size 14. She is a caterer so food is her life. She is an amazing person, she has tried to lose weight but says she is meant to be this size. She is actually healthy and doesn't look super big, just slightly larger. She is a great dresser and always well put together and most important my brother is crazy about her.

I would like to think that beauty is more than just a clothing size. Just be healthy, whether for you that is 120 or 160 lbs and of course feel good about who you are. Self love is most important...the rest will follow.

I don't understand the need to constantly play down the adverse impact of being overweight/obese. If you want to say that a person can be a size 14 but still be a really nice person who would make a great partner, I would agree but the reality is that discrimination is rife when it comes to such people.

Unless there are medical reasons, one should lose weight for reasons of health, social acceptance and self-esteem. Stop deluding those faced with this challenge that it really does not matter.

You don't become a size 14 without making poor choices and making the correct choices can rectify the situation.

Not true. I'm a small boned person (I wear a 5 ring) and that cuts me a break when it comes to carrying some extra lbs, but I have friends who have large bones and wide hips who are very active (run marathons even) and "eat clean" but still wear a 14. Starving yourself and excessive exercise just to drop a dress size are also poor choices.

Seriously, someone who runs marathons and maintains some sort of exercise regimen in the interim will not be a size 14 - as long as they don't eat like there is no tomorrow. I say this from experience and from knowing numerous people who run. If what you are saying is that someone ran a marathon and then relapsed in exercising little or not at all, you may be right.

Eat healthy, don't deprive yourself but don't overeat and exercise regularly and you will not only lose weight but you will feel better than you have ever done. Ever noticed that at Whole Foods, you rarely see an obese person and few are even overweight. Now everyone cannot afford to shop at Whole Foods but you can still eat healthy shopping at other places.

Say what? I'll be the first to say that there is no way the OP is a 14 at 215. My DH is 215, works out daily, and is 6'2" and has a ton of muscle mass. He is a BIG MAN. I cannot even fathom that on a woman who is a 14. I myself was a 14 and no way could my DH have put my clothes on without ripping them and I was 5'9" and 185.

With that said, at a size 14, I ran and lifted. I clocked about 25 miles a week. I was not fast, but certainly hauled my fat ass over the finish line of the MCM two years in a row. Lots and lots of fat marathon runners. I'm always fattest leading up to a marathon because I eat so incredibly much when I'm running 40 miles a week!

Granted, I'm now 145 and my time has greatly improved. My fat self used to run at a 10 min pace, now I run 8.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:


This made me LOL. Have you ever been to a marathon? They are some seriously HUGE people who run marathons.

And also eating at WF will not make you skinny! They still sell all kinds of crap there.

Have I been to a marathon? LOL!!

I have run numerous marathons and still do even after having several children. Am a member of a runner's club and there is not a single person in the club who is overweight let alone a size 14. Sure there are those who run a marathon who are overweight because they do it as a matter of personal achievement - and all power to them for doing so.

But if you exercise regularly and eat without gorging on food, you will lose weight absent any medical issues. You can rant until kingdom come about those who are not able to lose weight because of slow metabolism, etc but that is just rationalizing. Also, you don't need to deprive yourself to keep your weight under control.

I don't count calories but estimate that I eat over 3000 calories a day because I work out. Most people who claim to eat a limited amount and yet not lose weight are way over-eating. They delude themselves that they are not eating much. Combine uncontrolled eating with a sedentary life and you will become overweight or obese.

But all of the above is neither here nor there. If you are OK with being overweight that is fine but don't delude yourself that it does not take a toll on your health, how you are perceived by others, and how it might affect your own self-esteem.

You are cracking me up!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:


This made me LOL. Have you ever been to a marathon? They are some seriously HUGE people who run marathons.

And also eating at WF will not make you skinny! They still sell all kinds of crap there.

Have I been to a marathon? LOL!!

I have run numerous marathons and still do even after having several children. Am a member of a runner's club and there is not a single person in the club who is overweight let alone a size 14. Sure there are those who run a marathon who are overweight because they do it as a matter of personal achievement - and all power to them for doing so.

But if you exercise regularly and eat without gorging on food, you will lose weight absent any medical issues. You can rant until kingdom come about those who are not able to lose weight because of slow metabolism, etc but that is just rationalizing. Also, you don't need to deprive yourself to keep your weight under control.

I don't count calories but estimate that I eat over 3000 calories a day because I work out. Most people who claim to eat a limited amount and yet not lose weight are way over-eating. They delude themselves that they are not eating much. Combine uncontrolled eating with a sedentary life and you will become overweight or obese.

But all of the above is neither here nor there. If you are OK with being overweight that is fine but don't delude yourself that it does not take a toll on your health, how you are perceived by others, and how it might affect your own self-esteem.

You are cracking me up!

Says she as she stuffs her face!

[Anonymous]

Op here- Another update... After the disaster last weekend (please see my previous update, I think on page 12 or 13) I decided this week to be kinder to myself. I joined back at weight watchers and also started doing couch to 5k. It's only been a few days, but I'm on my way. In the past I've used set backs like this as an excuse to eat away the pain, but this time I'm doing things differently. People don't always update on DCUM, but if it's okay I'd like to update in a few months because I really feel like things are going to get better. Maybe I needed this bad experience as motivation to get healthy for myself. I think maybe if my self esteem wasn't so low from the weight, I would have made choices about men. Wish me luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fat people eat an average of 6700 calories a day. Obese people obviously eat more.

LOL you are talking out your ass. I'm 30 pounds overweight and I eat about 2500 calories a day. Of course, I am a premenopausal woman of 50 so there you go - no metabolism left.

Nope, got it from a New York Times article about obese people and calories. Literally, that's the average, though the article does go on to say that some people have odd metabolisms. Uh, I guess like all the obese women on DCUM who wear size 14.

If you want to lose 30 pounds, you either have to start burning an extra 1000 calories a day, or eat 1000 less calories a day. Stop blaming it on your age.

I'm in my forties, and I don't know any women who eat more than 1200-1500 calories a day, unless they exercise a lot.

That's why you're fat. If you have a problem with my numbers, write a letter to the NY Times.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm reading these topics to ky DH tonight. .commenting on these posts. His response to this one " sure, she probably gives out , but damn, she's my size!"

You are one lucky woman!

Yup, see OPs update at 07/01/2014 20:36…..I am lucky. He tells it like it is.

Well, if living with a tacktless, unempathietic, and probably not very bright man is considered lucky in your book, then yeah you are one lucky girl. But then you are tacky, unempathietic, and obtuse yourself, so it's a win-win!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fat people eat an average of 6700 calories a day. Obese people obviously eat more.

LOL you are talking out your ass. I'm 30 pounds overweight and I eat about 2500 calories a day. Of course, I am a premenopausal woman of 50 so there you go - no metabolism left.

Nope, got it from a New York Times article about obese people and calories. Literally, that's the average, though the article does go on to say that some people have odd metabolisms. Uh, I guess like all the obese women on DCUM who wear size 14.

If you want to lose 30 pounds, you either have to start burning an extra 1000 calories a day, or eat 1000 less calories a day. Stop blaming it on your age.

I'm in my forties, and I don't know any women who eat more than 1200-1500 calories a day, unless they exercise a lot.

That's why you're fat. If you have a problem with my numbers, write a letter to the NY Times.

You know how many calories everyone eats? You have issues.

[Anonymous]

Op here- Another update... After the disaster last weekend (please see my previous update, I think on page 12 or 13) I decided this week to be kinder to myself. I joined back at weight watchers and also started doing couch to 5k. It's only been a few days, but I'm on my way. In the past I've used set backs like this as an excuse to eat away the pain, but this time I'm doing things differently. People don't always update on DCUM, but if it's okay I'd like to update in a few months because I really feel like things are going to get better. Maybe I needed this bad experience as motivation to get healthy for myself. I think maybe if my self esteem wasn't so low from the weight, I would have made choices about men. Wish me luck!

Good for you, OP. I suggest you join myfitnesspal. Its a tracking calorie app but there's a lot of message boards that are very supportive. Lots of folks on there who have lots huge amounts of weight and kept it off. Good luck with the C25k and WW!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here- Another update... After the disaster last weekend (please see my previous update, I think on page 12 or 13) I decided this week to be kinder to myself. I joined back at weight watchers and also started doing couch to 5k. It's only been a few days, but I'm on my way. In the past I've used set backs like this as an excuse to eat away the pain, but this time I'm doing things differently. People don't always update on DCUM, but if it's okay I'd like to update in a few months because I really feel like things are going to get better. Maybe I needed this bad experience as motivation to get healthy for myself. I think maybe if my self esteem wasn't so low from the weight, I would have made choices about men. Wish me luck!

Good for you, OP.

I am glad that you did not listen to all these PPs' who kept telling you to love yourself for what you are.

It will take time to lose the weight but you will feel so much better in every respect at the end of it. Just keep in mind that you put on all the weight over a long time and so don't expect any magic solutions when it comes to losing the weight. It will happen but you need to work at it and keep focused on the goal.

Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fat people eat an average of 6700 calories a day. Obese people obviously eat more.

LOL you are talking out your ass. I'm 30 pounds overweight and I eat about 2500 calories a day. Of course, I am a premenopausal woman of 50 so there you go - no metabolism left.

Nope, got it from a New York Times article about obese people and calories. Literally, that's the average, though the article does go on to say that some people have odd metabolisms. Uh, I guess like all the obese women on DCUM who wear size 14.

If you want to lose 30 pounds, you either have to start burning an extra 1000 calories a day, or eat 1000 less calories a day. Stop blaming it on your age.

I'm in my forties, and I don't know any women who eat more than 1200-1500 calories a day, unless they exercise a lot.

That's why you're fat. If you have a problem with my numbers, write a letter to the NY Times.

The problem with most women - and men - is they don't have a clue how many calories they are consuming. It is not unusual to find people who live a basically sedentary life and then consume over 5000 calories on average everyday even as they assume that they are controlling their eating. Part of the problem is that Americans eat out so often and the food at restaurants is laden with calories. So they tuck into an appetizer and then an entree and a dessert and easily consume 2000 calories in one meal and then think they are controlling their eating!

But you will not convince them and when they reach a certain point, they will claim that they are happy with their bodies when the reality is that they know they are obese.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here- Another update... After the disaster last weekend (please see my previous update, I think on page 12 or 13) I decided this week to be kinder to myself. I joined back at weight watchers and also started doing couch to 5k. It's only been a few days, but I'm on my way. In the past I've used set backs like this as an excuse to eat away the pain, but this time I'm doing things differently. People don't always update on DCUM, but if it's okay I'd like to update in a few months because I really feel like things are going to get better. Maybe I needed this bad experience as motivation to get healthy for myself. I think maybe if my self esteem wasn't so low from the weight, I would have made choices about men. Wish me luck!

OP, I salute you. Best of luck and use this as an opportunity to move your life to a really good level.