DO SAHM not like SAHD?

[Anonymous]

I think there is a prejudice toward SAHD. That said there are also very cliquey SAHMs who routinely snub and exclude other SAHMs.

Try to find your niche, OP. Try Takoma Park Play Time/meetup.com

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've been a SAHD for over four years.

Way more than half the moms I tried to be friendly to were awkward about it.

Maybe a lot of them are just awkward anyway.

Probably. I'm a WOHM who used to SAH and this was my experience too. Have no problem w SAHD. Would totally do play dates. Maybe not from meeting in a park, but with a preschool parent or neighbor, of course.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think there is a prejudice toward SAHD. That said there are also very cliquey SAHMs who routinely snub and exclude other SAHMs.

Try to find your niche, OP. Try Takoma Park Play Time/meetup.com

Yes. A lot of really unfriendly SAHMs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, I feel weird inviting SAHDs to my house one on one. I'm happy to meet up at a park or somewhere public for a play date. I know that nothing would happen in a non platonic sense, but I'd still worry about nosy neighbors seeing a man come to my house and things like that.

Wouldn't he be coming to your house with his KID?

Who brings their KID to a tryst?

Do you seriously think your neighbors would interpret it as a sign of an affair if a guy showed up with his child and a diaper bag slung over his shoulder?

Besides, if you're making choices based on what your neighbors might think, you clearly need to re-think your priorities. Life is too short to live that way.

Love this. Thanks for the laugh. We got our first play date snub yesterday when my preschool age daughter's best friend's mom wouldn't let her come over for a play date because her husband said no. My husband is a SAHD. Not sure what they thought was going to go on, we thought the 4-year-old girls would play princesses. I'm amazed at this stigma attached to SAHDs. I thought it was 2014.

PP, why resurrect an old post?

[Anonymous]

When I was a SAHM, I was not welcomed by other SAHMs either. Don't take it personally.

[Anonymous]

I like everyone. The single people, married people, young, old, gay, straight, SAHM, SAHD, WOHM, WOHD...I think that too much is being made of which category of people like which people. Some people like people and some people are grouchy and judgemental.

Let it be. Its different personality types.

[Anonymous]

NP here. Used to be a SAHM, but went back to work recently.

I know several SAHDs, and they were all great guys. However, I found the interactions with their wives to be bizarre. For instance, I would have a carpool for after-school practices (for both our kids) lined up with the dad, and then the mom would take off work and get pissed off that the dad had arranged something with me without her knowledge. This happened more than once, and with three different families. It got to the point where I didn't want to get to know any more SAHDs very well.

Don't know if this is part of your problem.

[Anonymous]

I was a SAHM for 7 years when my kids were young. I also know a couple of SAHDs in my neighborhood. I think men have trouble breaking into SAHM groups because women can be cliquey, a lot of women like to sit around and complain about their husbands.

Once your kids start school it will be easier, you will have a much larger social circle of parents, and it will seem like a more trustworthy environment than a park.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was a SAHM for 7 years when my kids were young. I also know a couple of SAHDs in my neighborhood. I think men have trouble breaking into SAHM groups because women can be cliquey, a lot of women like to sit around and complain about their husbands.

Once your kids start school it will be easier, you will have a much larger social circle of parents, and it will seem like a more trustworthy environment than a park.

There are fewer SAHMs of school aged kids than SAHMs of infants and toddlers. I used to be a SAHM and now work part time. I volunteer at the school a lot and have never seen a dad volunteer during school hours. Plenty of dads come on field trips and school events though.

[Anonymous]

This is an old post, but I suspect the issue is often related to sex. Not just the fact of it, but the appearance of or potential for it. SAHMs who spend a lot of time together with their kids are often pretty intimate, in some ways, but no one suspects them of sleeping together. Their spouses don't worry about it. But anyone who's read Sisterland or Little Children has to think a little differently when they see a SAHM and SAHD pair hanging out at each other's houses all the time.