SIL announced her pregnancy just a few hours after DC's birth

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People who say they wouldn't care have obviously never been in the situation.

I have. A relative told me she was pregnant when she visited me in the hospital after DC's birth. I was happy.

I don't get how someone else's happiness diminishes your own. What a pathetic way to live!

Thissssssss ....Thisssssss

no, not thatttttt. Thatttt would have been the proper way for SIL to handle it - tell the new mom directly. Don't hunker outside her hospital room and spill the beans to the arriving visitors.

[Anonymous]

Does THIS compare to proposal during a wedding?

[Anonymous]

OP here.

Let me clarify this is my first post after OP.

It didn't happen to me. It happened to a friend and she's pretty upset since it's SIL 4th kid and DF came from a history of several miscarriages, a super tough pregnancy (bed rest for months) and her little guy is in the NICU awaiting weight gain for surgery.

Anyway thanks for sharing your opinion.

[Anonymous]

Sil sucks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

Let me clarify this is my first post after OP.

It didn't happen to me. It happened to a friend and she's pretty upset since it's SIL 4th kid and DF came from a history of several miscarriages, a super tough pregnancy (bed rest for months) and her little guy is in the NICU awaiting weight gain for surgery.

Anyway thanks for sharing your opinion.

eek. I hope you are encouraging her to let it go. She has bigger fish to fry and getting angry at an attention hogging SIL can only hurt her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

Let me clarify this is my first post after OP.

It didn't happen to me. It happened to a friend and she's pretty upset since it's SIL 4th kid and DF came from a history of several miscarriages, a super tough pregnancy (bed rest for months) and her little guy is in the NICU awaiting weight gain for surgery.

Anyway thanks for sharing your opinion.

I am sure she is upset at the birth situation. Sounds like she has transferred some of her sadness/anger to her SIL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

Let me clarify this is my first post after OP.

It didn't happen to me. It happened to a friend and she's pretty upset since it's SIL 4th kid and DF came from a history of several miscarriages, a super tough pregnancy (bed rest for months) and her little guy is in the NICU awaiting weight gain for surgery.

Anyway thanks for sharing your opinion.

eek. I hope you are encouraging her to let it go. She has bigger fish to fry and getting angry at an attention hogging SIL can only hurt her.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My SIL did this. She was four or five weeks pregnant. I was annoyed. I gave a hearty congratulations and kept my feelings to myself.

Why? I'm tired of this notion that when a woman has a baby, she thinks the world is supposed to stop and stand around in adulation.

I don't think that, and like I said, I smiled and gave a big "wow! congratulations!" Trust me, I'm not the type to think that a wedding or a baby warrant special treatment. But, it was weird. My in-laws were gazing at their brand new newborn granddaughter and my SIL interrupted with "And we have some news..." You don't think that's a little awkward? She was so newly pregnant that she hadn't even been to the doctor yet.

[Anonymous]

12:06 again. If a friend had done the exact same thing -- showed up to meet and hold the baby and then told me she was pregnant -- I would have been thrilled. I guess it was SIL interrupting our in-laws' attention to our baby with news about hers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

Let me clarify this is my first post after OP.

It didn't happen to me. It happened to a friend and she's pretty upset since it's SIL 4th kid and DF came from a history of several miscarriages, a super tough pregnancy (bed rest for months) and her little guy is in the NICU awaiting weight gain for surgery.

Anyway thanks for sharing your opinion.

I still don't see how it matters that SIL told people she was pregnant. having a baby isn't being in the spotlight. And it is this thinking that sets people up for disappointment.

Here's a scenario: A person who had a difficult time getting pregnant and now has a baby in the NICU constantly using her "spotlight" to say how blessed and lucky she is to her SIL, who has had miscarriages, trouble getting pregnant, and has not yet been successful (but who is still expected to fawn all over the SIL with the baby b/c it's her spotlight)?

Do you see how that works? Let's get rid of this notion that there's some kind of "spotlight" when a woman has a baby, lest we make it into a Bridezilla thing. You give birth to a baby, count yourself lucky and leave it at that. Any "attention" you get is bonus.

And if your baby has trouble or it doesn't go smoothly, be grateful if your loved ones offer support, but don't think that somehow it means you deserve an even greater spotlight. There's a big difference between support and spotlight. And a person can be supportive and still tell people she's pregnant, too.

What about women who never are able to conceive? Are they still expected to hail to the mother when their friends and relatives give birth because they are owed a "spotlight"?

It's ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My SIL did this. She was four or five weeks pregnant. I was annoyed. I gave a hearty congratulations and kept my feelings to myself.

Why? I'm tired of this notion that when a woman has a baby, she thinks the world is supposed to stop and stand around in adulation.

I don't think that, and like I said, I smiled and gave a big "wow! congratulations!" Trust me, I'm not the type to think that a wedding or a baby warrant special treatment. But, it was weird. My in-laws were gazing at their brand new newborn granddaughter and my SIL interrupted with "And we have some news..." You don't think that's a little awkward? She was so newly pregnant that she hadn't even been to the doctor yet.

No, I don't think it's awkward. She saw a newborn baby and probably got really excited about being pregnant herself.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like a non-issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My SIL did this. She was four or five weeks pregnant. I was annoyed. I gave a hearty congratulations and kept my feelings to myself.

Why? I'm tired of this notion that when a woman has a baby, she thinks the world is supposed to stop and stand around in adulation.

I don't think that, and like I said, I smiled and gave a big "wow! congratulations!" Trust me, I'm not the type to think that a wedding or a baby warrant special treatment. But, it was weird. My in-laws were gazing at their brand new newborn granddaughter and my SIL interrupted with "And we have some news..." You don't think that's a little awkward? She was so newly pregnant that she hadn't even been to the doctor yet.

No, I don't think it's awkward. She saw a newborn baby and probably got really excited about being pregnant herself.

Probably. Personally, I would have kept my excitement to myself for a little while longer.

All of those people who are saying OP's friend thinks it's all about her... don't you think the same could be said for her SIL?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would feel kinda crappy because I'm low, petty and immature for even taking the time to post such a question when I have newborn baby to love and care for.

+ 1

Your child is not the second coming of baby Jesus. Get over it.

She was considerate enough to wait until your child was safely born.

[Anonymous]

Even more reason for your "friend" to get over it, OP. She sounds like an immature selfish woman-child.